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The Avengers: The Decapod (1962)
Primitive writing
*Some spoilers*
The only interesting point about this black-and-white episode of 'The Avengers' is that it offers one of the handful of appearances by singer-actress Julie Stevens as Venus Smith.
Nightclub performer Smith was one of a rotation of partners provided for debonair secret John Steed (Patrick Macnee) during the 1963 season. Given the role's limitations, 'partner' may be an overstatement.
First the good news: despite the primitive production values of these taped episodes, this one looks crisp and clear. Director Don Leaver does what he can to keep the action moving, and makes the necessary fakery seem palatable.
And although the audio quality on the A&E sets released in the US in often poor, coping with the originals' poor microphone placement and poor sound recording, it's generally adequate here. In particular, in the limited confines of a nightclub set, Stevens' vocal numbers come across quite well. She has a lovely voice. If the very mildly jazzy Brit pop is unmemorable, it's also inoffensive.
As always, Macnee does well by his partners. The Steed of this era is still a bit untrustworthy, a bad-boy secret agent despite his social polish. He manipulates Venus Smith into helping him penetrate the embassy of the 'Balkan Republic' after a young woman is found dead in an 'accident.' Of course, this is The Avengers, where people seldom die accidentally, or naturally.
The real villain is screenwriter Eric Paice, who makes Venus seem uncommonly dense. She goes to the embassy convinced that visiting leader Yakob Borb (Paul Stassino) is an impresario who will help her career. Instead, he eventually asks her to run off to Las Vegas with him.
Stevens is a glamorous blonde of the type preferred by Avengers producers. But while pretty, she's delicately built and her character is not sharp. Stevens has none of the physical skills possessed by Honor Blackman, the more formidable blonde playing alternative partner Cathy Gale. And Stevens is only a bit more curvaceous than boyish Diana Rigg, who eventually would become Steed's foil. In brawn or brains, Venus Smith doesn't seem like she'd ever be much help to Steedin a tight spot.
But there's not really much of a mystery to unravel here, and what plot there is remains primitive in style and substance. Hard-working Welsh actor Philip Madoc, for some reason frequently cast as an Eastern European, is the 'Balkan' ambassador. He does not trust Borb's Western playboy tendencies. One might think Borb would simply have the ambassador recalled, but not in the drought-stricken mind of Eric Paice.
Instead, there's a good deal of going-on about Borb, a not-at-all-disguised Tito, seeking 'bribes' from both East and West in order to maintain the Republic's neutrality, and devoting the money to his own use. The Brits were apparently still put out about their monarchist favorites losing out in Yugoslavia during World War II _ although there were fewer complaints when Tito's Partizans were providing them with midnight landing strips and covering fire.
Of course, Tito lived high on the hog compared to the average Yugoslav, with virtual palaces and fancy cars. But the handful of openly neutral countries in the Cold War _ aside from Switzerland _ had to be very careful indeed not to swallowed or turned into cannon fodder by the ravenous competing blocs.
Post 9/11, the mid-80s plot device of brave Afghan mujahedeen battling vicious Rooskies turns the otherwise entertaining James Bond movie 'The Living Daylights' into a cringe-fest. By so tying his underpopulated, underwritten script to similarly dated political claptrap, Paice makes this episode very thin gruel.
Wrestling provides Paice's other plot point here, but there are so few suspects that the identity of the murderous masked mauler is painfully obvious. Politics aside, wrestling looks insincere enough without subjecting it to the stylized fight scenes of mid-1960s television. The only amusing thing is how quickly Macnee gets out of the way during the ultimate sequence in the ring.
Series television is a difficult form, and even a show as generally inventive as 'The Avengers' stumbled occasionally. In 'The Decapod,' it stumbles badly.
Homicide: The Movie (2000)
Purgatory
* Some spoilers *
This movie is sometimes subtitled "Life Everlasting." That's often taken as reference to the final scene, but more accurately describes how dead and buried this once-estimable series is after this sloppy and illogical send-off.
There's a "hey kids, let's put on a show air" about this telemovie, which can be endearing in spots. Some fans will feel like insiders as they enjoy picking out all the various cameo appearances. Co-writer, co-producer Tom Fontana and his pals pack the goings-on with friends and favorites from other shows, as well as real Baltimore personages.
That's on top of the returns of virtually all the members of the television's show varied casts, your old favorites as well as later non-favorites.
There was always a tug-of-war pitting quality-conscious executive producer Barry Levinson, Fontana, James Yoshimura and the rest of the creative team against budget-conscious NBC execs, who simply wanted a another moronic police procedural like "Nash Bridges," which regularly beat "Homicide" in the ratings. The pressure told as the show bounced between riveting realism that transcended its form, and sleazy sensationalism that demeaned it.
Unfortunately for this movie, Fontana, co-writers Yoshimura and Eric Overmeyer and director Jean de Segonzac simply threw in the towel. They took the most ludicrous story are from the series, topped it with an unlikely and artistically unfruitful new plot line, and laid the burden of carrying the whole mess on one of the weaker cast members.
Briefly, some time has passed since the last episode of the show. The former heart of Baltimore's homicide unit, Yaphet Kotto as Lt. Al Giardello, is now a Kurt Schmoke-like candidate for mayor, and Schmoke himself makes a cameo appearance. But this promising start immediately and improbably takes a tragic turn.
The spotlight shifts to Giancarlo Esposito as Giardello's son Mike. A handsome man who has done good work elsewhere, Esposito was one of the pretty faces brought in late to supposedly enliven the TV series. But the question for viewers always was: is Mike that uncomfortable as Gee's son, or is Esposito that uncomfortable in the role?
To be fair, Esposito doesn't get a chance to play out the main story without interruption. That's because the writers choose this moment to revive another storyline that spat on the intelligence of the show's loyal voters.
An apparent snuff streaming video was promoted, and then seemed to actually take place, on the Internet. After some red herrings, the detectives arrested a repellent suspect. But Zaljko Ivanek's harassed and overworked Deputy States Attorney forgot to file motions in time, and the suspect was released, only to be murdered later.
Let's summarize: he forgot to file the paperwork because it wasn't the most sensational case of his career, because the mayor, the attorney general, the governor, the entire Maryland Legislature, the U.S. Attorney General, NBC, Court TV, the BBC, AP, Reuters, People, The Sun, the Washington Post, the New York Times, the LA Times, Time Magazine, The Times of London, The Economist, The Johannesburg Mail and Guardian, L'Osservatore Romano, Le Figaro, Paris Match, L'Equipe and Computer World weren't calling every 10 minutes to ask about the status of the case.
Nevertheless, the old gang of detectives and associates flocks back to Baltimore to help out. There's quite an array of talent on display. Unfortunately, with the limited amount of dialogue to hand out, some of them are merely on display.
Two of the strongest actors, Clark Johnson and Melissa Leo, are criminally underused, while time wasted on Jon Seda and Michael Michelle could be better spent on commercials. The writers do seem to satirize this, presenting Jason Priestley as the latest big-deal detective. On the other hand, they give easy-come, easy-go Michelle Forbes a very affecting scene.
There's some other sly casting, with actual Lt. Gary D'Addario, the center of the book that gave rise to the show, playing another detective. Guests drop in from other shows, like Whitney Allen doing her deadpan and clueless "Miss Sally" from the children's show beloved by the inmates on Fontana's "Oz." Dina Napoli of WBAL TV turns up as herself.
Even when entertaining, though, these guests can be distracting. Ed Begley Jr. actually advances the story in his brief appearance, playing Dr. Victor Ehrlich from Fontana's "St. Elsewhere." He's still a vivid character, and fits in a hospital setting. Then you remember, didn't St. Elegius turn out to be an autistic boy's fantasy?
The most useful cameo reflects corporate synergy. This movie was made when Court TV bought re-run rights to the series. That network contributed legal waif Helen Lucaitis, who had interviewed the Homicide team and later appeared on "Oz." The TV correspondent does an efficient job summarizing the news, that is, plot points for latecomers.
Although she's so thin that she disappears when she turns sideways, Lucaitis also adeptly handles a bit of physical comedy with Esposito. He shows more juice in his scenes with Lucaitis than with any of his usual colleagues. Perhaps those two should have done a spin-off.
As the movie winds down, the cream of the cast rises to the top. Although they are saddled with a loser script, Andre Braugher and Kyle Secor overcome it. Their performances remind viewers what made Homicide, for considerable stretches, the best show on the air and one of the best television productions ever.
It's fun to watch top pros do their stuff; it's just a shame this movie doesn't give them more of a chance. Die-hard fans may want to see this movie anyway, but you can live without it.
The Assassination Bureau (1969)
Too many assassins spoil the plot
* Some spoilers *
They may travel by horse, train, gondola or zeppelin, but a good cast cannot completely escape the pedestrian plotting and direction of 'The Assassination Bureau.'
Still, this movie offers the occasional witty line and scenic if stock footage. While there is the requisite amount of on-screen mayhem, it's somewhat comic. And unlike most modern summer movies, watching this won't kill your brain cells.
Fans of particular cast members may find 'The Assassination Bureau' worth seeking out, if ultimately less fun than it could be.
As other reviewers indicate, serious Jack London's interesting moral dilemma _ the corruption of a group of avengers dedicated to wiping out corrupt rulers _ got turned into comedy by Robert Fish, and the movie takes the slapstick bit from there.
While admittedly long in the tooth to be playing a neophyte journalist, Diana Rigg is otherwise well cast as crusading investigator Sonya Winter. With her posh elocution and boyish figure, Rigg seems just the type of prim do-gooder to take it upon herself to root out evil.
But the other leads are, ahem, cast against type.
This was the first of two movies (the other being 'On Her Majesty's Secret Service') where New Yawk Telly Savalas brought his Bronx accent to a role as an upper-crust European opposite Rigg. They actually get along quite jollily in both films, but in neither is Savalas right for his part.
Rough and tumble Oliver Reed is called upon to play the polite, polished leader of the eponymous bureau. Unfortunately, Reed has no comic timing, leaving it to the always arch Rigg to do most of the mugging in their scenes together. And while plenty of knives and swords come to hand, you could cut the sexual tension between Reed and Rigg with a plastic spoon.
Despite all this, the actors are troupers. Savalas enjoys hamming it up as Lord Bostwick, a black-hearted master of the yellow press. Reed responds to Rigg with a sort of professional courtesy, and patiently makes his way through the comic bits while waiting for the next bit of action.
Much of your response to this movie may depend on whether you enjoy similar Sixties period pieces like 'The Great Race,' with a cast of characters representing national stereotypes: glum Russian, mad German, sybaritic Frenchman, sexy Italian. There is a great supporting cast, including Curd Jurgens, Beryl Reid, Phillippe Noiret and Vernon Dobtcheff, but they must work their stuff within the confines of these types.
As they do, the story becomes a chase across Europe, albeit one featuring back projection and sound stages. Some of the individual episodes are well played, but they become repetitive as Reed heroically eludes his own henchmen.
A stop in Venice is more inventive, as well-endowed Annabella Incontrera shows up as a Borgia-style contessa. But the movie begins to become imbalanced. While Incontrera is striking sparks with Reed, Rigg is jumping around on a bed while dressed only in a towel. She's trying to dislodge a bomb _ rather than simply leaving the room. It's a scene straight out of 'The Man Show,' and obviously intended for a woman with far more bounce than poor flat-as-a-pancake Diana Rigg.
Adding to the indignity, her heretofore chastely independent character then "surrenders" to Oliver Reed _ out of nerves, apparently _ and is forced to mouth appropriate clichés. Rigg's reward is a scene where she's shown tugging on corset laces in an attempt to improve her cleavage. There's no change, but Rigg seems happy anyway and no wonder, since the garment has a balconette bra already jutting out well beyond her natural contours.
Even artificially enhanced, Rigg mysteriously loses director Basil Dearden's interest. She virtually disappears for the last 20 minutes of the movie as it becomes a boys-only ripping yarn. In truth, though, that's reasonably entertaining as the male leads are certainly prepared to buckle some swash. Reed finally comes into his own as he wins the hearts and minds of royalty _ oh, good.
The special effects are effective for the era, although viewers addicted to CGI may want to look away. As noted, the scenery is largely stock footage with sometimes glaring rear projection, but it still can be striking.
In short, viewers expecting a magnificent comic romp need to lower their sights, but 'The Assassination Bureau' makes a decent showing.
The Avengers: A Touch of Brimstone (1966)
Ministry of Dirty Tricks
* Some spoilers *
While best known for Diana Rigg's notorious "Queen of Sin" costume, this installment of 'The Avengers' succeeds based on good writing and atmospheric direction. As a black-and-white 1960s spy spoof, the show may not appeal to everyone. But this clever, atmospheric episode is one of the series' high points and arguably one of the great stand-alone outings of any show.
A series of increasingly dangerous pranks are disrupting official functions and undermining the UK's attempts to reach a treaty with a rival power. (Here, you are free to imagine Russians under the bed.)
On the case as always is well-tailored spy/counterspy John Steed, suavely played by Patrick Macnee, the fixture of this series. By this time, thin, leggy Diana Rigg was well established as Steed's latest partner, wealthy woman-about-town Emma Peel.
Much of the pleasure of 'The Avengers' lies in the by-play between Macnee and his various co-stars. By now, the writers had rubbed some of the rough edges off Steed, originally a shadowy, slightly untrustworthy bad boy on the good side. He became the arch-English gentleman, oozing affability. While Macnee worked well with all his partners, his chemistry with Rigg, and the Steed-Emma dialogue, was generally the best of all the pairings.
One of the series' chief writers, Brian Clemens, borrows some bits of English history to add spice to the more modern plotting. A nervous prankster leads Steed into contact with a revived "Hellfire Club," the name popularly applied to the 18th circle that gathered around Sir Francis Dashwood, "Poor Fred" Frederick, Prince of Wales, William Hogarth, John Wilkes and other luminaries, including occasional guest Benjamin Franklin. Using the Rabelesian motto Fay ce que vouldras, "Do what thou wilt," they were primarily interested in a good time.
That aspect is well-represented here, as Mrs. Peel investigates,and is attracted to, Peter Wyngrade as the new club's libertine leader, the cruelly handsome John Cartney. He already has a far better-endowed girlfriend in the person of Carol Cleveland (later of Monty Python), but she's a doormat compared to the independent-minded Mrs. Peel,and Cartney relishes a challenge.
Steed insinuates himself into the club with a mix of bonhomie and cheating, disappointing steely eyed Jeremy Young as swordsman/enforcer Willy Brant. Ever polite, Steed prefers to outwit bad guys, beating them up only as necessary. And as Steeds observes the goings-on, he gets a whiff that Cartney and company are more like Guy Fawkes plotters than Dashwood's revelers.
Emma comes in through the front door, courtesy of Cartney's invitation, but she's equally suspicious. That doesn't stop Diana Rigg from putting on a fashion show. First, she's mod yet reserved; then Rigg is ornate if tiny-busted in a beautiful Regency gown; finally, she's on display as a dominatrix with spiked dog collar, spiked boots, jeweled eyelids, black silk panties and a whale-bone corset. Oh yes, there's that snake coiled on her arm. The costume was designed by Diana Rigg and has one significant deviation from historical accuracy. Instead of a flat front, it is curved, underwired and padded to allow the under-endowed Rigg to create the illusion of cleavage.
Though tame by modern standards, all that was enough to get the episode banned during the show's original run in the US. Even in the UK censors trimmed a later scene with a whip. But their loss in the Sixties is our gain today. How does it all end? You'll have to watch and see.
The Avengers: Honey for the Prince (1966)
A happier, but still dangerous, Middle East
Contains some spoilers.
Many old-school fans of the 1960s British spy spoof 'The Avengers' rate 'Honey for the Prince' as one of the top episodes. For a modern viewer coming to it for the first time, your enjoyment may depend on what sort of mood you're in. If you like your action lite, enjoy high camp and non sequitors, and can put up with some less than sterling production values, this may be your cup of herb tea. Those looking for dramatic adventure, convincing martial arts or even color television may be put off.
Centered around maneuvers for oil concessions, this episode does have some continued timeliness. The UK has apparently outdone an unnamed rival power to become the patron of fictitious Barabia, and the crown prince has come to London to sign the deal. But something is awry: there's a shootout, a wounded British agent stumbles into the apartment of John Steed and dies saying something about 'Honey.'
A well-tailored bon vivant who happens to be a top spy/counterspy, Patrick Macnee's Steed is the heart of this series and a wonderful character. He's partnered in this era by whippet thin Diana Rigg as Mrs. Emma Peel. Rigg had succeeded buxom blonde Honor Blackman, who was television's first leather-clad, judo-chopping dominatrix. That may seem par for the course, after Xena, Buffy and Sydney Bristow, but those shows came years later. When Blackman burst on the scene, most actresses in action shows were reduced to falling and cowering, not fighting and outwitting. Unlike Blackman, Rigg didn't learn judo for the part, but she did have a Shakespearean background and an athletic build.
This episode fully captures the outstanding chemistry between Macnee and Rigg, and the fond partnership _ no sex please, we're British _ of Steed and Mrs. Peel. It also showcases a fine supporting cast playing a variety of British eccentrics, as well as some vaguely Middle Eastern ones.
Here, it's you call. Some viewers enjoy the fact that Ken Parry as honeymaker B. Bumble looks exactly like one of his little charges. Others think he and writer Brian Clemens lay the camp on a bit thick. Similarly, lots of folks find Ron Moody and his Ponsonby-Hopkirk a great entrepreneur, and a fine trailblazer for generations of television fantasists thereafter. Others seem to think the arranged fantasias of his company, Quite, Quite Fantastic, are stagy but not funny.
Macnee's many fans get to see their hero in his usual posh wardrobe and attitude as well as his slightly mussed following fight scenes. Macnee has some nice by-play with Zia Mohyeddin as Anglophile Prince Ali, as well as with George Pastell as a villain who enjoys the good life as much as Steed does. But unfortunately for a spy show, Macnee is more actor than fighter. He is so obviously doubled by a stuntman during most of the action sequences that one wonders why director James Hill even bothered to include the occasional cutaway close-up of Macnee.
Similarly, those with feminist inclinations may be irked by Prince Ali's casual disdain toward his harem of scantily clad wives. Some of this is played as satire, but in a sign of the era, Clemens cannot avoid adding a mother-in-law joke.
Although supposedly smarter and just about as tough as Steed, Mrs. Peel frequently wound up under-dressed, and that's certainly true in this case. The results are mixed. The editors of TV Guide in the US regularly choose Emma as their sexiest television female. That may be due more to childhood memories than physique, as under-endowed Diana Rigg is hardly a typical femme fatale. Struggling to fill out a tiny bustier but bursting out of gauzy hip-huggers, Rigg is almost a dead ringer for Debra Messing. Again, it's your call: if you prefer tall, flat redheads, Rigg is definitely your dame; otherwise, you may want to look elsewhere.
In compensation, despite an obvious lack of training Rigg throws herself into a dance of the veils and a prolonged fight with scimitars. While the action is fake, the energy is real. Props are due to the actress and Roland Curram as a murderous henchman for their exuberance, which can seem sexy enough.
In the end, the plot ties together nicely, and with the same good-humored mix of reality, unreality and really unreal reality that we've seen throughout the show. Fans will enjoy a trip down memory lane, and those younger viewers with a taste for the offbeat should check this out. Unlike many period pieces, this still has some juice.