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toby-milton
Reviews
Leave the World Behind (2023)
It's a bird, it's a plane!
It's a suspense! It's a stranger at the door movie! It's an invasion movie! It's a commentary on racism! It's a tongue-in-cheek comedy!
If this movie could have stuck to one of those, it might have been interesting. As it was, a wasted effort from Mahershala Ali and Ethan Hawke. Julia Roberts brought her usual thing to the movie. The son didn't add anything, the daughter seemed to have a decent effort, though her plot/genre seemed counter to a lot of the movie.
In the end it would turn out to be an unknown force or forces who combined to topple America with a few swift moves, knowing that the conspiracy theorists will do the bulk of the work themselves to finish it off.
Chosen (2022)
A pleasant surprise!
I'm usually in on any Nordic series, so I didn't bother looking too much into this before starting. I am super happy how it turned out and I hope there is more to come.
Girl on the Third Floor (2019)
What did I just watch
There is no rhyme or reason to this movie. They took a bunch of horror tropes and bad actors, wrote a patchwork plot and then filmed it in a supposed actual haunted house.
No suspense or scares to be had. No self-awareness of a classic horror film. Steer away.
Beckett (2021)
More running than storyline
John David Washington runs through Greece, plus a few periods of downtime for plot filling.
Critically underutilization of Alicia Vikander.
Lisey's Story (2021)
Slow is fine, but...
The actors are wonderful and thats where it ends for me. So many dream sequences, a main character that comes across as a complete idiot who can never make any connections on her own without her dead husband spoon feeding a condescending scavenger hunt.
Moves at the pace of molasses, which can be fine if things pay off before you stop caring. That isn't this.
No One Lives (2012)
Corn Syrup Budget
I think they had a corn syrup budget of $200 million or so.
Panic (2021)
So little to like.
There are many of these "teens in a game/bad situation" shows out there. This one had a really interesting premise, but a lot of terrible holes.
The acting is terrible, save for the main and her sister. The ages these "high school" kids look is all over the map. Like many of these shows, they direct you to many places before revealing the reality. Unlike the better ones, you're left not really caring anyway, because everyone is unlikeable. Many many more issues, but i can't even care anymore.
Little America: The Silence (2020)
do not watch if you have misophonia
I enjoyed the acting and story, but oh wow the sounds in this that they amplify for effect are grating on the misophonia.
Knock Knock (2015)
No reason for so much of this
I enjoy Keanu and Ana in so many things, but this movie made very little sense.
The ladies show up after trying every house (which they mention before and after things get crazy) yet they know a whole lot about his family specifically.
He gets stabbed in the shoulder and then is seemingly fine.
There is no real motivation ever given for why they're doing this.
"Genesis" uses the R word multiple times, which hasn't been acceptable in a long time in movies. It's not edgy or cool, it's just outdated and gross.
I have seen 5 Eli Roth movies and one tv series without liking any of them. This puts a stamp on that for sure.
P2 (2007)
Plot holes you can jump through
First off, as others have mentioned, the story could have ended several times if any number of choices had been made.
The first time the movie had me asking "why?" Is when the building didn't have any push door exits in the lobby. And then it just got more terrible from then.
I thought Rachel Nichols did an alright job with the material, but between this and AHS (which I love otherwise), it's confirmed I will never watch Wes Bentley again.
Come Play (2020)
Babadook, but for screen addiction
Instead of the themes explored in the Babadook, this one focuses on screen addiction. Otherwise it plays out fairly similar. The writing is kind of weak, but it's overall watchable.
It Cuts Deep (2020)
An attempt was made
Well, I can't remember where I heard of this movie or why I felt compelled to check it out. However, I can't even tell if there was a script or a plot or what was happening. The dialogue was non-sensical. Only the Ashley character seemed to pick a believable way to portray her character. Everything else was just flat and awkward
El practicante (2020)
Terrible man gets in accident, doubles down on being terrible
Prior to the pivotal accident, Angél was already stealing from patients and being a general ass to everyone. After the accident he just goes off the deep end.
He wasn't just a troubled man before the accident, he was already a bad person. It takes away from the tragedy of the accident, as you are never rooting for him, and it's believable he would have become as disturbed without it. Vane gets almost no depth of character either.
Kudos to the actor for the physical work he did, which is the only reason I upped the stars
Hunters (2020)
The cracks early on crumble greatly toward the end
The three stars here are for the early episodes, as it all goes tumbling down. We have a young man who magically solves all complex codes while also ruining EVERYTHING at every mission. We have small bits of foreshadowing inserted that is not at all connected to the payoff. Not to mention the clips of torture, the mixture of so many different styles of writing and just the empty plot points. So much promise, so little payoff
Calibre (2018)
Too many coincidences
Very watchable, but one too many coincidences. For a small town, they manage to have a scent dog just readily available, and they stick around after to make a plethora of coincidental errors. Just seems like there were 10 or so times they could have done literally anything else and had it be okay.
Dracula (2020)
Tried to be a lot of things.
Wildly inconsistent in almost every way. Wanted to be comical, which it managed once or twice through Agatha. Wanted to be dramatic and heartfelt and scary and twisty. It doesn't come together well, in my opinion.
He starts as this old man that has little concept of the english language and becomes a much younger, and fully English-speaking, man. At which point the blood he drinks gives him vague memories, but otherwise does not affect his behaviours or appearance in any way. Then in the end it turns out his affinity for Van Helsing and not wanting to be lonely is his demise.
The series was shot well and the acting was fine enough, hence the three stars. The "as needed" plot devices and purposely confusing narratives brought down what might have been an interesting take on this classic.