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Psycho (1998)
6/10
Well...
10 October 2006
Gus Van Sant's adaptation of Psycho is a good one. In fact, it's near perfect. But therein lies the problem with the whole.

Van Sant takes a classic, still revered by today's generations, and dips it in color, changes a few lines of dialogue, and props it up for all to see. He takes no risks, executing things exactly shot-for-shot, and making this the one thing all movies aspire not to be, good or bad: disposable. Why see this when you can see the original in all its groundbreaking glory?

It is somewhat fascinating to see the modern day ensemble act out the infamous parts, including Vince Vaughn's ambitious but overshot performance as Norman Bates, Anthony Perkin's iconic character. The violence is bloodier, the film colorful and vibrant, but what is added that makes this more important then the original? Not a thing.

The dialogue is taken word-for-word, the shots look exactly the same. Even actions and reactions remain intact. One has to wonder if Van Sant even did any work at all, or just took the storyboards and script from the original.

It pains me deeply to see a project that could have been great become something unnecessary: a re-telling instead of a re-imagining.

Van Sant himself claimed he made the film so that "no one else would". If you're not going to do it right, don't do it at all, but again, there is the problem. Van Sant did it right, and that, unfortunately, was the wrong thing to do.
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8/10
Good, but not Chandler
9 April 2006
Robert Altman's stirring and ultimately bleak vision of the 70's, The Long Goodbye has been described as "Rip Van Marlowe", with Elliot Gould stumbling as though awoken after 20 years through the psychedelic and bleak landscape of 1970s Los Angeles.

In the film, Elliot Gould plays infamous private detective Philip Marlowe with subtlety and flourish, observing the violent and unnerving acts around him with concern and cynicism. He plays the character of Marlowe perfectly: witty, harsh, and honest.

But that's where the comparison to Chandler ends. If you went into The Long Goodbye expecting Raymond Chandler's masterpiece, you'll come out confused and disappointed. In this version of the film, Mrs. Wade is no longer the golden goddess described, Terry Lennox is a sly, slimeball slickster, and a large number of characters disappear into thin air. The plot has been bent and stretched to fit Altman's vision, and the only seemingly Chandler-esquire part of The Long Goodbye is Roger Wade, played gruffly and expertly by Sterling Hayden.

If you're prepared to see something remarkable, see The Long Goodbye.

If you want to see Raymond Chandler, see something else.
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King Kong (2005)
9/10
A Masterful Vision Come to Masterful Life
25 December 2005
Peter Jackson's King Kong is one of 2005's, and soon to be 2006's, most rewarding films. Not only does it give you that sense of adventure and awe like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, but it also tells as compelling a story as any good independent feature might.

Before I get into it, yes, the film could be shorter, but even its longest, dull moments are above average then anything we see at the cinema these days.

Peter Jackson's vision of King Kong is one of marvel and mystique, something the original Kong made clear all too well.

If you have seen the original and automatically assume that this is the same story retold in a "newer fashion", you are both wrong and right. The elements that made the original so compelling are still there, but Jackson's own unique stamp is there as well, with constant miniatures and effects shots that would make George Lucas blush.

It seems, to some, that Peter Jackson is the epic version of Steven Spielberg, and I disagree. Both are masters of the art of storytelling, but both are telling different stories.

King Kong is a film all should see, if only as a marker as to what the future holds for good, quality film-making.
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Scrubs (2001–2010)
An Elaborate Comedic Symphony
28 May 2005
'Scrubs' is a look at the world through the eyes of an intern. Not some crusty cop or a desperate housewife, but an intern.

An intern with no special abilities or powers. An intern who goes to a hospital.

And somehow, this creates one of the best shows on TV.

J.D.(Zach Braff) is an intern at Sacred Hearts Hospital. He's surrounded by a cynical janitor, a belligerent head M.D., a sarcastic mentor, and a few other interns. Though this all may seem like a familiar and done-before formula, 'Scrubs' makes the whole thing seem fresh, new, and radiant.

The show subtlety examines many major issues (authority complex, race, etc.) without making it seem preachy. To do this well is itself a fantastic achievement.

This show also does something incredible: make actors you may recognize from small parts in movies shine. Zach Braff, John C. McGinley, and so many others.

Worth your time in spades.
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7/10
A Partly Satisfying Closure
3 May 2005
Warning: Spoilers
The Matrix Revolutions is the apparent conclusion of the Matrix trilogy, which spanned the Matrix, Matrix: Reloaded, and finally Matrix: Revolutions.

Indeed, the Wachowskis put a lot of effort into this one. Upside down battles, fantastic CGI, and great cinematography, as usual. But therein lies the problem. This is all kung fu magic that we've seen before. Expect nothing new or "revolutionary" in this film.

It starts out fairly simply with Neo popping back up into existence after a small quest by Seraph, Trinity, and Morpheus to get him back from the clutches of the Merovingian. After that, everything starts to muddle.

We spend a good 30 minutes in Zion as the humans defend the dock from the imposing machines. This battle is too clichéd to be appreciated that much. We have the kid who promises to "not let down" his superior officer, the IL' battle- hardened captain. At this point, Trinity and Neo are off to machine city to strike a deal to get rid of Smith, while Niobe and the rest of the remaining rebels make their way back to Zion to assist in its defense.

After that little scene, we wisely get back to Trinity and Neo. At this point you'll probably be suffering from Matrix starvation: the Wachowskis seem to think the Matrix irrelevant at this point, and try to prop you comfortably in a place you've only briefly been in during Reloaded. This tactic really backfires, as we do not enter the Matrix for a good 40 minutes at least.

And we do, it is both exhilarating and disappointing. The final battle between Smith and Neo is a thing of wonder, but no where near as powerful as the subway battle in the first Matrix. And that was much longer then this, which ends about 7 minutes in.

After that, a resolution is brought upon us, and we are treated to a sugar coated faith ending.

So, to summarize, nothing new, just OK, not as good as the first one or the second.

You'd probably be better off watching all the movies in reverse.
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4/10
A One-Act Pony
24 April 2005
Maybe the reason I disliked this film the way I did is because I first saw it on DVD, after all the over hype.

But I doubt it.

By that time, the jokes were outspoken and unoriginal. "Gosh!" "I'm having the worst day of my life, what do you think?" "Ever take it off any sweet jumps?" Napoleon has been imitated so much I cringe now whenever I hear it.

Which is what gets the film its substantial merit. It stays with you. And it is very well edited and shot for a small independent feature.

But other then that, the humor is mundane, the story muddled, and the acting morose. It seems like everyone is either acting over the top or deadpanning.

My recommendation is to give this one a pass. You've most likely already heard the good jokes told over and over to the point of meaninglessness.
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9/10
Two Years Later, I've Given This a Second Chance
15 April 2005
Warning: Spoilers
During lunch at school today a few pals were talking about a Matrix parody called "The Matrix Has You" on Newgrounds.com. I watched it this afternoon and was suddenly entranced by the Matrix Trilogy all over again. (I previously called Reloaded as an elongated teaser trailer for Revolutions, which was not nearly as good, but still excellent). So I popped in my dusty Reloaded disc and suddenly realized the genius of Reloaded all over again. The cinematography is magnificent, the choreography amazing. The dialogue by some characters is great (Smith, The Merovingian, The Oracle) and bad (Trinity, some of Neo's lines). It makes you wonder why the Wachowski's couldn't give depth to all of their characters as they did to others, but it's forgivable.

Most of the good fight scenes have been overlooked (The Agent vs. Neo fight, The Château) in favor of the more obvious (The Burly Brawl, The Freeway). But even if they are of a smaller scale, they are given as much creativeness and attention as the bigger and more epic battles.

In the first film, Agent Smith was a villain because he was after the rebels. Only at the end of the movie, when he showed his true feelings about the human race ("It's the smell, if there is such a thing") did he become a true villain. After his "death" and resurrection, Smith (no longer an agent) becomes more a villain then he does just a tool.

The whole atmosphere of the Matrix has changed as well. In the first, everything was desolate and old and dusty. In this version, everything is sleek, shiny, and perfect. If the first Matrix was a beer, this is a glass of wine.

Morpheus, Trinity, and Neo are back, played effortlessly by Laurence Fishburne, Carrie Anne Moss, and Keanu Reeves. It's as if they have the characters down to a hilt, which can be good and bad. But overall, they serve their purpose well.

All the supporting characters are phenomenal. The Merovingian, his albino Twins, the Oracle, the Keymaker, Persephone. Even the Merovingian's men have a little personality. Fantastic costume design, even if there is a bit of a leather fest.

Overall, a good, solid sequel to a groundbreaking film. This amplifies the bar of visual effects and martial arts choreography. If you're interested in "finishing" the story, watch Revolutions. It not nearly as good as this or the first film, but it's worth it just for the "closure".
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Half-Life 2 (2004 Video Game)
Action at it's pinnacle (minor spoilers, if you care)
18 February 2005
Warning: Spoilers
In Half-Life 2, Gordon Freeman appears again, mysteriously on the train to City 17, a backdrop of seedy buildings and even seedier "civil protection", which is anything but. In the first few minutes of the game, you're treated to views of all-too-obvious propaganda. From a view screen high on the wall, Dr. Breen, the former administrator of Black Mesa, tells the people of City 17 that they are entering one of the best cities of the world in tones dripping with honey. In another room, he speaks of how individualism is nothing to be proud of. Follow the pecking order, and you'll get your just rewards.

Freeman is sent spiraling on a journey fraught with peril and danger. From fending against the CP with only a pistol, to wading through toxic waste, to speeding down a canal, smashing into support beams and toppling enemy sharpshooting positions, Half-Life 2 makes everything you see plausible. This is assisted by having no cut scenes, but just one long game. But it's not just reserved in sci-fi action. In a level that seems to come out of nowhere, you traverse a town infected with zombies, all out to destroy you. Some of the most nerve-wracking moments you may ever have while playing a game will be experienced here.

Throughout the game, I found myself saying "come on, come on". Not in protest, but in determination. The game hooks you, plain and simple. While it may not be for everybody (you don't get your first weapon for about 20 minutes, and when you do, it's a crowbar), but some levels have at least one element to interest a gamer. The driving levels are superb, and feature a depth not many games have yet achieved while balancing shooting and driving.

To touch briefly on it, yes, the Steam server may be a hassle for those with dial-up. I myself have cable internet, so I wouldn't know.

Overall, this game may just be the best game ever made. It's length, it's depth, it's graphic, it's game play, all fit intricately into great entertainment built on a solid foundation of moral values. No politics or racial issues abound in this game. It follows the simple yet timeless formula: The good needs to stop the bad. And after seeing the last few levels, bad may have an entirely new definition.

Final score: 9/10. Close to perfection, but Steam holds it back.
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Bad Boys II (2003)
A good movie with it's faults
28 October 2004
Although this got bashed and legitametly "bombed", I enjoyed it when I saw it. And I watch movies like Barton Fink and To Kill A Mockingbird.

The most enriching thing I found about the movie was the lighting and the cinematography. When the camera sailed down the doorway of the kingpin's house, when the man yells to all who hear "The Russian Grim Reaper is here", goosebumps went down my spine. That kind of directed vision can make or break a movie.

The action sequences weren't the usual 30-round pistol magazine scenes, but action were thoroughly thought out and made to not be the usual clichés. Some standout performances were from Martin Lawrence and Joe Pantoliano. Will Smith gave his usual heroic performance with a little something extra added. Martin actually made me feel for his character with the depression that seemed to plague the character. And Joe Pantoliano, while playing a nearly pitch-perfect stressed police chief, was very believable. His performance almost made me forget the moron he played on the Sopranos.

Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer make a good quality action movie without resorting to a half-winded effort. Most sequences were engaging and intense, but when the writer resorts to the silly stuff, you realize where the bad word-of-mouth might have come from.

My score: 7/10
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