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giznad2000
Reviews
Island of Death (1976)
Exploitation at its very best!
Island of death has it all - sex, torture, racism, sexism, homophobia, Christian-ploitation, hippies, gratuitous nudity, gay sex, lesbian sex, rape, gay rape, golden showers, fart as an insult, mysogyny, drugs, bestiality...
THIS is what exploitation cinema is all about. Before I continue, if you want graphic sex, look elsewhere, this is strictly soft-core (and includes bush in full frontal due to the era in which it was filmed), and the violence is not really graphic gore (gore-hounds look elsewhere too).
But for trash auteurs, this will be the movie you've always wanted to watch (even if you didn't know it). It gets more and more obscene and ridiculous as the movie continues, breaking all rules of political correctness and taste. The madness is set to a wacky, funky, totally inappropriate 70s soundtrack and has moments of absolute hilarity, often coming from the dialog. I was very impressed with this film watching it for the first time last night and will watch it many, many more times. Of all the 'cult' films I've got from internet shopping stores, this is the most satisfying thus far, absolutely not a let down. Unless you have the wrong idea of what sort of movie this will be (ie: extremely gory, porn or an A-grade movie) you can't go wrong.
SuicideGirls: The First Tour (2005)
Glamorised pornography and documentary on disgusting personalities
The Suicide Girls have had a website going for quite some time with huge success. The premise for the website is simple pin-up pictures of girls who look kind of Gothic, with lots of tattoos and piercings. The DVD documents their first tour. What do they do on this tour? Two things act like absolute bitches and perform strip shows. The shows are very similar to what you would see at an upper class strip joint, except the girls act punk. The drink on stage, spit on the crowd, yell abuse and give everyone the finger. They fight the "traditional model image", so some of them are not so pretty. Some are very attractive (personalities aside) however. You also see some of the porn photo shoots for the website.
It's the interviews that really make this DVD so terrible. The girls are terribly behaved animals. They are extremely self-righteous about the pornography they produce. They claim it includes real women of all shapes and sizes and makes them feel good about being women. There is a notable exclusion of any black women or fat women, however, and it really is porn just the same as playboy or hustler. They brag about how alternative they are and naively believe they do not conform to any sort of image when they clearly do. The interviews are also cut together terribly. The jump cuts used are poorly done and film school students would do a much better job. The stage footage looks like home video footage.
The girls are very nasty, angry, confused beings who you would not want to be friends with. This is made most obvious in a sickening scene in which one girl recounts a sexual experience she had. In this she seduced a shy guy and then preceded to assault him, biting his chest so that he required hospitilisation and stitches. She explains this giggling and excitedly and as if we are to think it is cool. Imagine if this was a man talking about such an assault on a woman...
Some of the music on the DVD is really fantastic. It is the saving grace of the film. One of the extras on the DVD is the Probot video for "Shake Your Blood". This features the hottest of the Suicide Girls and is a great video for a great song. There are some outtakes from the interviews which are dull. There are some clips of the girls playing "practical jokes" being nasty, horrible people again. There is also a "no talking" feature which allows you to watch the movie without the interviews, which would be better, although if that's your bag, just get a Gothic porno.
I gave this two stars instead of one as it was visually interesting for about 5 minutes and the music was great. The fact that this is seen as "the new face of feminism" is truly disturbing and dangerously incorrect.
College Kickboxers (1991)
If you love extremely bad movies, this is a MUST SEE
College Kickboxers is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. If you are a fan of terrible B-grade movies, get this. It's not painful bad, it's extremely funny bad.
The story follows main character James Caulfield and his transition from macho man to zen-like kung fu master. Along the way he picks up a girl with awesome lines, mainly about his marital arts, helps his friend try to keep a dojo for underprivileged children running, receive training from a Chinese cook and have some run-ins with one of the silliest villains ever seen in a movie.
The acting is unbelievably ridiculous, especially from the bad guys. I laughed at almost every line. The direction is incredibly poor, not only do the actors give laughable jobs, but there are some major continuity errors and the fight scenes are in general terrible. There is a brief nipple shot which is perhaps the highest point of the film.
I found this movie far more laugh inducing than 90% of modern American comedies. Do yourself a favour and have a wee giggle at this.