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Reviews
Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj (2006)
Now I'm being economically exploited......
And it was only 3 squid me ol' muckers
Pretty bad flick on all counts, Kal Penn holds it together as best the man can, he forges out a couple of funnies but the supporting cast who try hard must have been kinda cheap to hire...the dude with the Big Wang doesn't make much sense, the Irish guy does look a lot like his older bro from titanic, I wouldn't put the nerd in a starburst advert but I thought the English tart had balls spouting such filth...what would her mother say?
Kind of looks like they made it in a couple of weeks so I appreciate the effort and I think it was worth 97 minutes of my life on planet earth...I didn't watch the extra features I'm sorry to say and I was kinda bummed the way the every 'hastings' scene had the cheapest possible activity, sword fight, paintball, dog show, bus ride, drinking competition....yet there was no stunts and only 4 breasts involved plus Taj's golf cart was super slow..........hey ho!
On the plus side they don't need Van or even Taj to bust out a whole host of Van Wilder Chronicles. Funny and cheap that why national lampoons are a rock and i predict will survive the credit crunch.
Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007)
Get those Dudes a Mop! More bang for your buck
Now I enjoyed the first one, the girl was cute, the rednecks were freaky but all in all it was a relatively simply, low key Hollywood horror that pushed a few buttons and kept me entertained.
I hoped a sequel would come, on paper it looked promising; a first time director, larger cast, lower budget, big papa Rollins to ham it up someone called Texas battle and its about a reality TV show...
OK on paper it looked a tad dodgy but forget all that, these guys have made a sterling effort to give horror fans what they want, Its got it all really, the effects are spot on for the cash paid to make them, Henry Rollins is the man, I've never seen someone take apart the 'locals' so effectively, the supporting cast adds humour and booty aplenty.
Give a first timer a couple of million quid, 20 unknowns, 3 cameras, a forest, an effects guy and a month to make something entertaining and you cant expect much better in my opinion.
Good job 7/10
Ong-Bak (2003)
Knee, Knee, Elbow, Elbow, Block, Block
What a flick, 80's Hong Kong style action/stunt-work mixed with modern know-how,a killer lead star and choreography that finally trumps Yuen Woo-ping.
Forget any criticisms, i cant understand why anyone in their right mind would give this a low vote unless you didn't want to watch a action film in the first place. Its a martial arts movie that emcompases it all, the slapstick of Chan, the power of Sammo, the athleticism of Jet, it even takes a few 'respectful' jabs at the legend Bruce Lee. A true star has been born in Tony Jaa, lets hope Hollywood doesn't distill the magic too early, please let him do a few more films before you snap him up.....
Couldn't recommend it enough, and the double knee drop on needle boy should go down in the top 10 all time, 'don't fancy that much' action moves. lets hope the kids don't copy that one in the playground.
Big Meat Eater (1982)
Everyone enjoyed it for sure !!
Pleased to meat you , Meat to please you,
The crowd I watched this with were bemused but loved it and my guess is you will to.....
The musical numbers were a surreal highlight and not what i had expected from the standard horror trailer that i had seen promoting this little gem. Abdullas fantasies of Arabian belly dancers doing the 'Bagdad boogie' or his signature number, "I'm the big meat eater, yes i am, I'm the big meat eater pass me the ham" while he minces a whole chicken and a side of beef with his bare hands made my veggie sister nauseous and I'm defiantly going to bust out the kid scientists dance moves that accompany the "chemicals are the future" song next time i go to a disco The Aliens, Abdulla, and Mayor Whippy are worthy bad guys to the heroes, the butcher/linguist small-town good guy and the the scientist/thief school kid and the effects are spot on.
Find a copy and treasure it, its a piece of history, I've mentally added this movie to my list of 'classics' that are a product of strange minds in strange times.
Those involved with the production of this interplanetary, horror, comedy, musical should be proud. The word 'cult' applies to the 'Big Meat Eater' but doesn't do it justice. This movie will live on because the handful of people that have had the privilege to see it will spread the word....
"Have you seen a movie called the Big Meat Eater.....No! Well you can borrow it, you will love it, its proper brilliant"
Shower of Blood (2004)
I thought i'd read the back of the box....I guess not !
As entertaining as breasts are, I thought I was renting a horror movie. The other flicks I have watched from Terror 2000 have been cool; gory little shockers made by filmmakers who rely on ingenuity rather than budget. This suckfest has the acting, effects, humor and plot of a soft porn movie, and that's all it really is I guess. Head Vamp Uncle is a real find though being the sleaziest person on the planet.
all in all , its really rubbish make no mistake, it wasn't what I was expecting in the slightest, but it kept me amused, I appreciated how inept the whole thing was, the overdubbed fart/burp soundtrack was great, the girls were cute and always naked, and the jocks do not disappoint. Thumbs up for trash then