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The Final Level: Escaping Rancala (2019)
classic bottom of the barrel stuff from 'The Asylum'
If you have 1 single braincell left, don't watch this trainwreck of a movie by the infamous 'mockbuster' production company 'The Asylum'. their infamy is now so well known, that they have to hide their name in the production details here on IMDB. i really hope they get sued by the copyright holders of 'ready player one' and 'jumanji'...
The Last Days on Mars (2013)
Zombies... i just did not see that one coming...
there can be only one reason why you would like this movie: you haven't seen any (good) scifi movies and/or horror movies before. here's the story in its entirety: a group of astronauts on a mars-base discover a bio-substance which turns them to zombies. they all die. that's it. really.
the overall production-design was done very well and kept me watching to the end, but that's really about it. it's a movie without a story, just a premise that has been done a million times already.
(appeal to review-writers: when you use terms like "thought provoking" or "a thinking mans this-and-that movie", please give an example or comparison of why that is. otherwise it makes you look like somebody who just likes to use those terms to give the impression of deepness where there's really just cluelessness... just a tip.)
Dredd (2012)
drokk! a huge disappointment
let's just summarize some essential Judge Dredd facts from the original comic: it's the future, after an all-out war only a handful mega-cities exist, completely overpopulated with an unemployment rate around 90%... space is scarce, therefor the buildings reach absurd sizes and shapes. 24/7 traffic jams, flying cars... lot's of'em, illegal air board races, gunships, block-wars, ABC-robots, etc... add to that at least 10 buckets of black humor wrapped in exquisite critical sarcasm.
now here's my quiz: find and list 3 futuristic items in the new "Judge Dredd 3D"!
this movie really looks like it was made for 1% of the budget it would have needed. starting with a cityscape that looks somewhat like Johannesburg, loosely populated with Nissan buses driving on pretty ordinary streets, pickled with some "mega-blocks"... we then have to suffer a lengthy clone of a "die hard" plot that revolves around an illegal drug which slows time down for the user without any other side- effects it seems. wow... that is one terrible substance! don't do it! but hey, luckily there's the Judges! genetically bred super-cops with an arsenal of overkill high-tech gadgetry like ehm... er... motorbikes! and... handguns with a tiny display! everything here seems to be barely on a "mad max 1" level. top this off with wooden characters and dialog... well. thank you. notice how the poster shows all blocks on fire and close to each other? i guess they had to compensate for a completely missing "mega-city" there...
in short: a disappointing low-budget fan-boy movie that completely lacks absolutely everything essential about the original Judge Dredd universe. i simply can't imagine that somebody familiar with the original world of Dredd can get anything out of this movie. this is somewhat reflected in the "critiques" in favor of this movie, which all pretty much boil down to: "uh... it's not like the other dredd, uh-huh..." or: "if u like sploshuns, bullits and ded peeples, dis movie is for u!". i can imagine
yes... the 1995 Dredd movie was disappointing, but let's be fair: besides the character depiction and the lame buddy-story, it had a TRUE "Mega City", mutants, robots, pretty cool vehicles and lots of characters... and that was 1995 with no CGI, OK?
What the #$*! Do We (K)now!? (2004)
ah! now I finally understand... I think... maybe...
luckily, someone else already described the flaws of this movie in depth. all i can do is warn you again to be extremely cautious when making conclusions about "reality" after seeing this movie.
the first illusion could be the "clarity" of the description of the atomic world, especially quantum mechanics. the classic 2 errors are:
1.: mistaking the QM expression "observer" as "the observer" (i.e. a conscious entity which observes).
2.: mistaking "quantum teleportation" as a "teleportation of matter" (i.e. things).
funnily, this movie is actually BASED on those errors!!!
one of the fathers of QM, Werner Heisenberg once said: "he who thinks he comprehends quantum mechanics, does not comprehend it.
Richard Feynman once said: "I think it is safe to say that no one understands quantum mechanics. Do not keep saying to yourself, if you can possibly avoid it, 'But how can it possibly be like that?' because you will go down the drain into a blind alley from which nobody has yet escaped. Nobody knows how it can be like that."
now in this flick, we have a bunch of people telling you, how utterly simple the whole thing is. so... nice people... but be warned....
P.S.: still, if your a fan of reality-as-comedy, then there's lots of fun scenes to watch, like for example when "Ramtha" (our grand-priestess of the temple of weird) lists some awesome hi-tech stuff that we're already able to do today... only... half of the list is pure fiction. hilarious!!!
Doom (2005)
Prototypical Bad Movie for Spoiled Boys
sorry for my maybe rough tone, but i wonder sometimes what brain state is necessary to love a movie like this? OK... i love video games, especially 1st person shooters that push the envelope of what is possible to simulate on a PC screen. in a game it's all about immersion and fooling your poor brain into stress :-) a good storyline in a game supports this effect. now... doing a movie script is something totally different, because here the viewer is in a more passive position. what works in the game does not work on film. i really thought that this knowledge is common sense now, but... shock! one of the poorest story lines ever written! i somehow imagine totally idiotic kids that get excited about the fact that they can actually comprehend a storyline in a movie for the first time! duh! an experiment went wrong, mutants, space marines, like Alien never happened. and to top it a little, we also have, as a bonus, the totally redundant "1st person sequence". if this turns you on, you probably can't be helped anymore.
and to you the "commenteers": which synapses misfired when you came up with a sentence like: "the special effects in the movie are better than in the game"? maybe you could write an essay on the differences between plastic apples and real apples. i realize that my comment isn't really helpful to describe the movie, but all i can say is: BAAAAAD...
Stay (2005)
please, people...
dear hobby-critics... when i read things like: "A film, David Lynch could be proud of" or "this film delves into the unconscious mind" then... it makes me laugh out loud! please stop calling everything surreal "Lynchy" or "subconscious" (i mean, how would you consciously know? haha). this is just so cliché... STAY surely is visually VERY interesting, but that's it. the story and especially the ending reminded me a lot of Adrian Lynes "Jacobs Ladder" from 1990, so much in fact, that it surprises me not to find it mentioned here (although i must admit: i didn't read all STAY comments, lol). what STAY does is, it jumps from ghost movie to psychological drama just at the right frequency, so that almost anything possible. the transitions used are nothing new, although nicely done. sometimes, lack of story is just lack of story, no matter what you project into it. i actually bought the DVD just for the look and feel of the movie, but i couldn't watch it a second time for the story.
Riding the Bullet (2004)
well... you know...
i watched this film...yeah... i even watched it until the end... but somehow... let's cut it short: this movie is at best a totally overstretched bad twilight zone episode, including the narrator at the end. i'm still figuring what this movie was all about. of course i get an idea what it wanted to be about, but that's it. maybe people should learn, that philosophy isn't just about having crazy and funny ideas... the cliché of the crazy mr. death... come on... the storyarc is of a painful boring nature fed to you with a spoon so small, you never get the feeling of having eaten a whole dinner. if the issue is pre-adult angst with a surrealist twist, i still point to Donnie Darko... so much better and fresher... sorry guys...
The Purifiers (2004)
the stuff... bad movies are made of...
***possible spoiler*** (...actually watching this film can spoil your evening) well... i try to refrain from doing bad critiques for movies as much as i can... especially when their topics aren't really my thing. but here we have a contender for "worst pseudo-post-modern would-be-trendy-movie-ever-made". basically it's "The Warriors" only... totally not! i mean what is the f*** idea here? the term "in the near future" is used here to transport a totally stupid and unconvincing storyline: a city ruled by martial arts gangs... yeah sure... then we have this one gang of super-model-fighters who are...erm...well...the good guys! now the super-bad-boss-guy wants to unite all the gangs to challenge the ruling party. but wait! (this could shock you...) he only wants to gain superior power over all of them! off course we also have the traitor in the gang here who wants a slice of the pie... the rest of the story? that's it! so let's fill in some very uninspired martial arts sequences and an embarrassing female motorcycle gang (a stylistic highlight here) tint the whole thing in boring blue/sepia and here we go! what is a bad movie?hard to say... but in my view, bad movies can even be fun sometimes.just not this one... the whole idea of "let's do a Scottish martial arts film cuz... no one has made one yet!" just isn't enough to squeeze a movie out of it... in a subtle way... it made me angry...
Impostor (2001)
Impostor
off course Impostor has absolutely nothing to do with Minority Report. puzzles me how anybody can write this. The only similarity is the fact, that it is a Phillip K. Dick Story... that's all. overall it is a nicely done adaptation of the original short-story from 1954 with the same name. on the DVD (at least the version i saw) there's also a short-film version (37 minutes), which is exactly the original 1954 story. The makers really put some effort into the look of this future world. for a low/medium budget movie, i must say: very nice! there have been way badder P. K. Dick adaptations. overall impression: a solid film with a solid cast and no embarrassing moments. watch it!