Reviews

Yet another example of TV failing to present one of the great stories of history. They spent the time and money on decent sets, costumes, and actors, but seemed to care nothing about history. Strange, because I believe Americans would enjoy seeing the real story if it was created at this level. However, even if you allow that they can spin their own (hi)story (hey, it's their money), this story started off dull and predictable.

Other reviewers have identified historical flaws in the Octavius character, so I won't repeat them here, but the writers also threw in a gladiator character who appears to be a weak extrapolation from the hit movie. These changes are bad decisions when dealing with such a rich era. When two major characters in the series are created poorly, the series will surely suffer.

Instead of watching the rest of this series, I recommend that you read a book (even a fiction one) about this exciting era to prepare yourself for the upcoming HBO series; they should handle this era much better.

This movie is horrible.

Save yourself the two hours and go watch Army of Darkness to see Bruce Campbell working with a much better script. If you are a Xena & Hercules fan, you might enjoy Alien Apocalypse, but probably not.

While the directing and cinematography are comparable to a Xena episode, the writing is flawed, stupid, and, worst of all for a Bruce Campbell movie, not funny. The dialog offers some witty lines that will entertain some people, but overall, it's dull. Does this "comedy" movie save all the laughs for the end? No, the ending is flat; not a single chuckle or smirk.

If you're an Army of Darkness fan, do not watch this movie. It's almost as if the writers didn't know Bruce Campbell was going to star in it. He doesn't have much to work with, and this movie won't appeal to his "cult" audience. I'd rather have watched a repeating loop of Bruce in Spiderman 2, over and over and over and over again, instead of watching this movie.

TV doesn't have to be this bad!

___SPOILERS___ Stop reading if you don't want major spoilers. They are added here to help warn people about some of the major flaws.

1) Renee O'Connor is a major draw for the audience, but they cover her face and she's off-camera or sitting down for a large portion of the movie. Huh?

2) The President-in-hiding is guarded by ZERO Secret Service agents, nor any other guards of any kind! None! Guards could have at least been standing by the doorway, sleeping on their feet. That would have been funnier, while adding a smidgen of realism.

3) The rape of the 2nd lead woman is glossed over LESS than if someone slapped her. Disgusting. Then Bruce's character lectures the rapist about how to treat fellow humans, yet he kills the rapist ONLY after the creep threatens to report them to the aliens. Even if that was acceptable in a movie in this genre (and it shouldn't be), Bruce speaks no funny line of dialog when he kills the guy. To compound the problem, the character later tells an angry mob that this isn't the right time to be executing anyone (without any indication he's had any kind of morality shift).

4) A ragtag group of ex-slaves shoots bows & arrows with more deadly accuracy than the aliens fire their energy rifles. Even the explosive alien rockets don't seem to kill any humans.

5) Humans don't try to pick up the alien energy guns. This is a comedy movie, but it lacks the semi-obligatory humor scene where a human tries to fire one, but can't, throws it aside, and it fires, killing an alien, without anybody noticing. Given the lack of humor in the movie, that goofy scene could have been a laugh-out-loud moment.

6) The aliens don't attempt to duck, cover, or run when they are being attacked. They just stand there. If they had run around like chickens it would have been funnier.

7) After the aliens subdue the humans at the sawmill, the humans recover their senses enough to ... stand in a line where they can be shot-down (instead of fleeing, or continuing to shoot those amazing arrows). However the aliens don't kill them, but instead compliment the humans, and then discuss killing only the leader (Bruce). They talk about it long enough to be mowed-down by yet more arrows from a group of untrained senators (that sounds funnier than it is).

8) The final killing spree has not one twitch of humor. The end of the movie desperately needed something goofy or over-the-top like a Xena episode or, of course, Army of Darkness.

Anything good at all in this movie?!

1) It's nice to see Bruce in a lead role. Hopefully producers will recognize he just needs better material.

2) The Bizzi character was a nice distraction, and she was one of the top 5 actors.

3) Green Gatorade makes pretty decent alien blood. Who knew!

Holly-weird!

I watched this flick because TiVo's guide gave it 3 stars, and because the initial characters seemed fresh and interesting. While the most of the characters managed to remain surprisingly rich throughout the movie, the dragging story suffocates the movie experience.

This indie movie may have been made for only $500,000, but that doesn't excuse the slow pace and drifting plot, even if Cameron Crowe thinks it's memorable.

The second-most identifiable problem, after the weak story, is the main character. The actor does a solid job, no fault there. Really, Will Stewart is good. Unfortunately, the character is supposed to be a likable bad-boy, but his unlikable acts include drugs, taking advantage of old people, and leaving an underage girl in a motel room with a druggie friend. His charisma is noteworthy, but I still didn't care about him.

Maybe this movie is stuck in limbo between an R rating and PG-13. Related to this, when the sexual tension between the main character and the mother does pay-off (after having been seemingly forgotten), the event is dull and not as quirky as the music and choreographing seem to imply. The flexibility offered by a solid R-rating might have made this a better flick.

You might like Paul Duran's The Dogwalker if you think drugs are an acceptable way to "take away the pain" of life, and if you loved David Lynch's Mulholland Drive. But even then, no ... just re-watch Mulholland Dr. and struggle to wrap your brain around that story.

While thousands of Amazon customers may be motivated by seeing short movies for the first time, this set of advertising "shorts" lowers the standards of what people should accept or expect from a short. Tony Scott's shots were interesting, and I enjoyed the lighting, but the jumpy cuts became old fast (even in a short).

Billed as a silent short, I'd hoped to be dazzled purely by the visuals. However, Agent Orange isn't a silent short, simply no dialog. Still, good visuals, and I thought the soundtrack was additive without being distracting.

Similar to most of these Amazon shorts, the plot was unsatisfying. Amazon! Shorts can tell good stories, even if they exist primarily to sell merchandise (it's the future of TV too). The original plot point hinted that the goldfish would be returned, perhaps as an icebreaker to meet the girl. At the end, no fish, no icebreaker, just instant life-long love. Part of my problem with the ending is that the casting and the clashing wardrobe distracted me. I felt sad watching the sloppily-dressed youngish Orange Boy mooning over the stylish, seemingly more mature Orange Girl. I cringed at the unearned ending. (Regarding my age comments, becareful judging those book covers ... if my Internet research is correct, he's several years older.)

Nice to look at, but I'd only recommend it to cinematographers or directors.