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bhelmore
Reviews
The Transporter (2002)
9/10 star reviews! You've got to be kidding me!
Like many action films, the script of The Transporter was largely "throw-away", but I would expect that the same script in a capable director's hands could have resulted in a much more enjoyable film. Unfortunately, "capable" is not a word that I would use to describe the director(s) of The Transporter. The casting, the acting, the cinematography, the fight scene choreography -- everything about this movie is lacking. About the movie's only saving grace is some of its car chase scenes, but these are bought down by the most distracting music score that I've ever heard in a film! I know it sounds crazy criticizing a film's score, but The Transporter's score is so bad, it made me constantly aware of its presence. Do yourself a favor and pass on this one. This is not a John Statham movie worth watching.
Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (2006)
Mindless Dreck!
Just everything about this show is god-awful: the stories, the voice "talent", the songs, the music... you name it. Disney has taken the wonderful classic characters that put the studio on the map and destroyed them! To dare to call this dreck "educational" is a insult to all other educational programs.
I'm an avid fan of animation, especially the animated films produced by Disney and Pixar, but I'd rather listen to someone scratching their fingernails on a chalkboard for a half hour than be within ear shot of this garbage. "Oh Toodles!". "Mickey Mishka Mooska!". Give me a break! The 3D animation is at least mediocre. I actually feel sorry for the animators, knowing the painstaking animation process requires listening to these wretched soundtracks over and over again. I can't imagine a worse a gig for an animator.
It's almost as though the creators of this trash actually hate parents, and went out of their way to create something that (somehow) entertains children, but annoys parents like me to no end.