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Reviews
The Karate Kid (2010)
I know it was supposed to be a remake but if I had not seen the original nor known about it. I feel like this could stand on its own as a good movie.
There will be some slight spoilers ahead in this review.
I know it was supposed to be a remake but if I had not seen the original nor known about it. I feel like it could stand on its own as a good movie.
And that's not intended as a backhanded comment either. I mean it in a good way. Granted Jaden Smith's character does seem to have a bit of a bad attitude. It did not put me off at all. There was enough heart, culture, mysticism, and kung fu in this movie to win me over.
Will this hold true for everyone maybe not. Jackie Chan was a great choice for the mentor to Jaden Smith's character. There's enough new stuff woven into this remake that it does not feel too much like a remake although there are some slight nods to it which if you saw the original you'll recognize those moments.
I don't know if there will be a sequel very seldom do remakes get them and the story near the end kind of parallels the near end of the original Pat Morita/Ralph Macchio movie.
There are two ways people might feel inclined to view the bullies in this movie. Some may lean toward viewing them as racist.
Others will view them as they should be based on the movie's internal logic that they were just abiding by the 3 tenets that their teacher taught them.
Dance Flick (2009)
It has its funny moments
I think I laughed at this movie about 7 or so times. There were lots of spoofs but not as many genuinely laugh inducing moments that I'd hoped for in a movie of this genre.
Still I can not deny that I did genuinely laugh. I saw this by myself in a theater of several other black people and two white girls... none of them left before the credits rolled nor did I.
The funniest moments for me were 2 of the jokes done by Shawn Wayans. I'm not a fan of his but they were genuinely laugh inducing ones to me at least.
There were some scenes that they tried to play for laughs like spoilers
the scene where the ballerina leaps into this guys arms? insert fart noise... but it came across about as funny as a user dubbed video on youtube...
Incidentally here's a heads up on finding that clip of Step Up where someone dubbed fart noises over it. It plays the same here no acknowledgment whatsoever of the noise by either party post fart.
Since I laughed 7 times? I'll give it 7 out of 10.
Dragonball Evolution (2009)
Not as bad as some would have you believe.
I must admit that these boards leading up to the release of this film seem to be very much biased against this project. And jaded at best about the original attempt an a live action rendition of Dragon Ball entitled Dragonball: The Magic Begins.
If you're looking for it then you might want to try Youtube or some other online video site. I think everyone should watch that movie first if not at least as much of it as you can stand before you see this one.
So where do I stand then? Is this an abomination on celluloid like the rater(s) before me would have you believe? Not necessarily. But I will say this its not the same exact dragon ball as the animation.
I think if you go into this with the mindset that its more like one of those standalone spin off movies like they did with the animated series? It would work a lot better than viewed as a straight up adaptation.
For those who say its nothing even remotely like the original dragonball animation let's do a point by point comparison to Dragonball and not just Draginball Z( but we'll get to that later).
In the first season of the animation entitled The Emperor Pilaf Saga?
1. Bulma has completely blue hair. (In the movie its just a single streak of blue and she looks more like an extra from Tank Girl the movie. There's no denying that Tank Girl was a bad movie but it has a cult following nonetheless as does the comic...)
2. Bulma has a tracking device she used to track down the locations of Dragon Balls. (In the movie? She has one too)
3. Bulma has these capsules that she uses to make different things. One of which is a motorcycle. (In the movie she has one too)
4. Bulma and Goku rode the motorcycle to make most of their way to the dragonballs. (In the movie they do too although there was a slight change where they have him running behind it while she rides with Master Roshi. In the animation Master Roshi didn't ride with them in the first season if I recall correctly. In fact I don't recall him ever leaving his place of residence much at all.)
5. Goku became Oozaru (that giant monkey monster with a tail)near the end of the saga. (In the movie there's no tail on him when he becomes Oozaru but he does still become him near the end of the movie.)
6. Goku first met Bulma when she confronts him over his dragonball which he said he received from his grandfather.(The movie took some creative liberties with this. Instead just having them talk they fought a little bit while they talked.)
7. Goku learned the Kamehameha attack from Master Roshi. (He learns it from him in the movie as well but once again they took some creative liberties by turning it into a romantic prelude to his time spent with Chichi.)
8.When Goku first meets Chichi she's wearing a helmet of some sort and they fight. (In the movie she never wears a helmet but they do fight but not during their first meeting. In fact he doesn't even learn that she's a fighter till a little later into the film.)
9. Its reveal that Master Roshi's a pervert (yes even more so than the pervey sage from Naruto) because one of his skin mags is found. (In the movie one of his skin mags is found by Bulma but for some reason it just doesn't feel the same.)
For these 9 reasons? I'm giving it a 9. Its not perfect but its not that bad either. Oh an Yamcha is met by them as well as the Great Dragon being summoned to grant a wish and the Dragonballs being scattered after said wish is made.
The thing they've changed the most is they took out a lot of the bodily function humor. There is no farting Emperor Pilaf. Bulma doesn't accidentally pee off Goku's magical extending staff. Oh yes there is no magical extending staff.
I'm not sure if James Wong and company were aware of the source of inspiration for DragonBall? But I'm almost certain that "The Journey to the West" was the source to some extent.
In particular the Monkey King who has Goku as one of his many names and a magical extending staff were most likely the basis for Goku.
Also there are no dinosaurs in the movie so don't bother looking for them.
Boku no kanojo wa saibôgu (2008)
Somewhere betwixt Pygmalion and Pinnochio? is this title...
In the original Pygmalion (not My Fair Lady) a guy who was tired of real women tried to create his own. But ultimately wasn't satisfied with her because she was not living and breathing. So he left her and went to a festival then came back and at some point some how she was more so real to him. In Pinnochio, Gepetto built a boy puppet because he wanted a son. But was not happy because he was not initially a real boy who could feel emotions. Eventually following a tragedy he became real. This movie has a lot in common with these two stories premise wise if not at the very least structure wise.
I have to agree with the first guy who reviewed this movie. This movie is slow paced a bit and near the end I found myself skipping ahead just to get to the end which is actually the beginning. Overall it is a very heart felt movie. But with that being said? It appeals more to the heart than to the brain. You know how most time travel movies always have some plot holes in the logic or motivation of the characters? There are some plot holes here as well.
The real spoilers/plot holes begin here. I mean for one the very reason why he built the Cyborg girl was to avert being shot up by the gunman. After she had dealt with the gunman shouldn't she have ceased to exist? I mean where's his motivation to build said Cyborg girl if he's no longer shot up by the gunman? Also he mentioned that the way he was able to build her was because he won the lotto that night. Really? what lotto in fact I don't recall him ever buying a ticket for said lotto let alone do I recall him building her so she could still exist in this alternate time-line.
Unless it happened 65 years into the future a future which since modern science has rejected the prospect of an alternate dimension is completely unfeasible. Since his body would be no longer riddled with bullets or anywhere near the state it was in when he built her to begin with.
Again this is movie is built on more of an emotional appeal not so much logic do they do throw some in there. The logic is not where it shines. I do believe that if anyone will ever build a time machine that the Chinese will do it first if not another portion of Asian community. So no I don't think its too far-fetched for such a girl to exist. The thing she does with her eyes is a bit creepy though hard to believe they had her do that.
Also in the dance sequence when she was trying to dance robotic? They should have hired a real pop and locker to do the robotic dancing cause she was too fluid with her movements she needed to be more stiff and precise not fluid especially in the arms.
The Dark Knight (2008)
Definitely better than Batman Returns...yet ironically similar in ways
This movie has a lot in common with Batman Returns. Yet ironically enough its better than that one. Michael Keaton played Batman twice before ditching the role. Batman returns being his second and ultimately final go at it.
Like Batman Returns this of course is Christian Bale's second go as Bruce Wayne/Batman. This also is the second Batman sequel to feature the bat-glider variant of Batman's costume with the same actor from the prior Batman namely Christian Bale in the same role.
The main villain in Batman Returns was the penguin and he had a messed up childhood he attributed to his overall criminal development. Likewise the Joker in The Dark Knight attributes his messed up childhood to his criminal development going so far as to share how he got his first "smile".
Yet for all these similarities betwixt Batman Returns and The Dark Knight? Everything it uses it does better and expands upon it in someways. The glider costume for instance isn't a one trick pony Bruce Wayne uses once. He uses it multiple times throughout the movie once as an attack tactic at a crucial moment near the end. It still remains to be seen as to whether Christian Bale will be willing to done the cape for a third go around. Also I can't help but wonder who if anyone will take Lucius Fox's place perhaps that guy Reese?
Minyeo-neun goerowo (2006)
Good movie leaves lots of room for the proposed sequel
I stumbled onto it by way of having seen Kim Ah Jung in something else she was funny in. At any rate when I heard there was going to be a sequel to this my first thought was how? For that matter how could they possibly have kept the Japanese comic that inspired this movie going with a premise that's pretty much a mishmash betwixt Cyrano De Bergerac and Eddie Murphy's remake of The Nutty Professor but without the scifi angle. I'm always amazed at how Japanese comic artists can keep their series going well into the hundreds what would only last 2 seasons here would last well beyond it there just because their writers are so creative with their plot twists and development. There are spoilers in this review so read on if you want to be spoiled.
As for the aforementioned comparison to Cyrano De Bergerac? Much like Cyrano, Kang Han na is or at least deems herself hideous and as such decides to stay out of the lime light while she let's someone else take the credit for her singing much like Cyrano De Bergerac allowed the guy who was his rival take credit for the poetry he wrote. In further comparison to Cyrano De Bergerac is how Kang Han na post-surgery sticks up for a voyeur with his camera by stating that she understands exactly how he felt when really it was how she felt. Then there's the whole secret love interest angle that's so obviously Cyrano albeit with the engendered roles switched (Kang Han na's a woman after all not a man).
Much like the Nutty Professor she was obsessed over trying to find ways to lose her weight just to get her love interest to love her. First with diet pills then she ultimately turned to science albeit in the form of plastic surgery but not a scifi special serum. That being said there's nary a fart-joke here so you've been warned. But Kim Ah Jung can sing who knew. My favorite is the Beautiful Girl song with Maria being a close second I guess.
With that being said once I saw this movie to its end I could definitely see some natural problems pop-up that could feed into the sequel. I mean women get fat after getting pregnant right? I suspect once her bf gets over the whole plastic surgery thing she'll be pregnant with his baby. I also suspect she'd gain the weight back so that she'd be back to 200+ pounds.
That being said since she's not necessarily used to the concept of dieting or exercising to lose weight I imagine that would be a struggle in addition to maintaining her newly restarted singing career. Not only that but the impending delivery of the baby and her increased appetite in addition to the contractions and her water breaking. These are natural problems. I don't think he'd leave her because I don't think he's really that shallow. Oh and if they wanted to they could add fart-jokes here too pregnant have gas too but I suspect they won't. The really important thing is that they keep the heart in there in addition to the comedy, the good music, and the overall feel good nature that you get in the end.
Kataude mashin gâru (2008)
Its The Machine Girl its action packed but... it gets weird near the end really weird
Its The Machine Girl its action packed but... it gets weird near the end really weird. First off if you feel like you've seen something like this before you have. It was probably Robert Rodrigeuz's Planet Terror one of the two movies that made up the double-feature experience that was Grindhouse.
The opening sequence has a Japanese high-school girl named Ami with the Machinegun arm already attached. If you think she's weird wait till you meet the main thug's parents...and no she didn't lose her arm to a frying accident. It actually was lost because the thug's father tripped and fell with the katana he had chopped her fingers off with? and well there goes her arm. She hobbles off after trapping this one guy and forcing him to give her the keys. She's then sewn up and well...
The ending has a boy pissing behind some boys scared literally pissing which I found weird. Weirder still is the drill bra which reminds me of the machine-gun bras of Austin Powers. But that's not the weird part the weird part is when those two come together.
This movie is weird disturbing and full of action with an emphasis on the first two. You've been warned.
One Missed Call (2008)
One Missed Call?...One Missed Chance
This movie is good as far as what it is. It is a decent horror movie in that it has some scenes that will genuinely make you jump and it will leave you guessing till near the very end.
**spoilers** However certain aspects of it are hold overs from Friday the 13th, people being dragged into a lake, the main villain carrying a knife, teenage couple making out.
Further more in this day and age post-Resident Evil and Final Destination? You've got to be smarter about your plotting and offer up at least a halfway decent explanation as to how certain things are feasible. I'm looking at you battery-less cellphone scene. I mean it was all well and good back then when Chucky was battery-less. But that was then this is now you should at least have considered taking full advantage of the college setting, have a science class lecture on the law of the conservation of energy, how energy can't be created nor destroyed? How it just changes form.
As it is there's no explanation as to how the cellphones are feasibly possessed by said girl. One missed call? More like One Missed Chance to make another smart horror movie that gets under your skin and truly disturbs you the way the first Final Destination did with its creepy yet true to life philosophy.
Happily N'Ever After (2006)
DON'T WATCH the alternate trailer and expect to see the same stuff in the movie
Don't watch the alternate trailer and expect to see the same stuff in the movie...Cause its not all there... some of it is but not all of it. What's there is somewhat clever humor. I was impressed that they got away with what would otherwise be considered a couple of swear words in a G-rated kids movie i.e. witches instead of b*tches (which by the way are female dogs, LOL), mother instead of motherf*cker to name the two. Other than that it was pretty predictable in a Shrek kind of way. You knew she was going to ditch the prince for the dishwasher. You knew he was going to be doing the dirty work of trying to thwart evil with her aid and that those two animal apprentices would become her trusted friends. My only qualm is that there s no ending for the prince..REPEAT NO ENDING... He just stands there in the crowd waving Rick and his would be princess off. I was worried about the prince not getting an ending from the start. I suppose maybe they've randomized the after credit endings the one I saw had the queen being groped (and yes I do mean groped) by a bunch of walruses on an Ice berg in the midst of what looks like Antartica. All through out I couldn't help but think about two things one being Shrek and the other being the fact that from what I heard this movie had been development longer than Shrek and ironically enough had the head start before it... How could it possibly have ended this bad? I suppose the saying too many chefs spoil the stew applies here? No pun intended (nods to the 3 french chefs that rick worked with:(. Oh well at least it was only 5 bucks admission, right?)
Unaccompanied Minors (2006)
The Goonies in an airport, a blizzard, and a hotel pretty much sums up the plot...
If you hated the Goonies you'll probably hate this movie as well. But that's pretty much what it is a new age Goonies. There was supposed to be a sequel or rather a new generation of Goonies made some time ago I don't know what happened to THAT project but after seeing this movie I came to the realization that that's what they pretty much did here. A family friendly Christmas centered Goonies...well not exactly its not all that innocent you see but looking back on it were the Goonies really all THAT innocent? As far as the kids' acting goes I don't know I guess that's up for grabs for some viewers its convincing for others not so much. I fall into the first camp. You can agree with me or not I don't car no skin off my back. Just don't expect Home Alone so much. The Goonies also did their fair share of Adult bashing if memory serves me right. This is just the next generation of that. Oh and the love stories were there too and a fart joke was in the Goonies as well but it wasn't scripted it just happened. So thee you have it. Oh and a sliding scene was there as well and a bathroom scene. Did I forget anything oh yeah chunky the fart kid was there as well. Parents reuniting with their children? check. Some evil adults trying to catch them check! The kids stumbling on to treasure? check. Yeah I'd recommend The Goonies if you like this movie you won't be dissatisfied its more of the same if not better. This was a alright this was a good movie. Enjoyable not as bad as the critics made it out to be. But you know critics anything else other than their vantage always makes something else look like Shakespeare..like they all appreciate him or something, LMAO. I'll believe it when I see it.
Eragon (2006)
Not too faithful to the book...possibly better but notably condensed...
I'm going to start off by acknowledging that I'm not an executive plant or any other kind of affiliate or whatever you call them that usually boast about a movie to garner more viewers. Actually I'm relatively new to the world of Eragon or should I say Alagaesia (did I spell that right). I've only recently started reading the b look out of curiosity as to what the story is about. If I were to sum up the odds and ends of what Eragon borrowed from I'd say Star Wars (for the plot base plot of Skywalker er um I mean Eragon), SplinterCell (the whole night vision like spell, though it should be mentioned that it actually allows him to see what his dragon Saphira sees),Lord of the Rings: the fellowship of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring(for the base plot of not being able to trust anyone and the whole grand epic voyage), Lord of the Rings: the Two Towers (for the whole battle within the stronghold), Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (for the final conflict) and oddly enough Willow(with the emphasis on swordplay against fantasy creatures and one particular scene where a sword is driven into them in a semi-Mad Martigan fashion, oh and the plot of a chosen one who is less than what everyone else expected to fulfill a prophecy). But really I decided to completely ignore all of that and enjoy it for what it was a piece of fictional entertainment. If you can do that you'll be fine. The movie starts differently than the book. In fact you can pretty much kiss a good portion of those original 499 pages this was based on goodbye as they are noticeably either missing, minimized, or altered altogether. No subplot regarding the egg as a mysterious precious stone prior to the dragon's birth here (well aside from Eragon himself at least, and only in about 2 scenes). The whole subplot about his older brother being in love with that one girl and him fearing her father's disapproval? Completely excised. Eragon only shot one arrow in the movie where he shot two in the book before he found the egg. The whole starving family subplot gone he doesn't even get the meat. And his older brother treats his venture into the mountain as something done for fun not out of necessity. Oh and naturally since none of that happened there's no need for him to work off the debt. Can't really blame Hollywood though to their credit they are planning on treating the movie as the first of a trilogy. So what was there then? The emphasis in the movie has shifted towards the darkest material. His adopted father being killed, his relationship with his dragon, King Galbatorix and the Shade trying to find different ways to kill him before he reaches the Varden, there are some light moments near the beginning...not many. I haven't finished the book yet but I love the movie...but that's not to say I'll be buying it on DVD. It's at least worth a rental though.
Sin City (2005)
Sin City
Great movie! I won't say what happens but I will comment on how it was made. It was made a bit like Kerry Conran's Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow with green screen. You completely buy that you are there. The action is nearly nonstop there are no long lags in story pacing like some movies have and it seems to cover presumably the whole initial Trade paper Back series. I doubt there will be a sequel unless Frank Miller writes another one though. That's not to spoil the movie Its truly an experience to be had one word of advice though don't talk or comment through the movie or you'll ruin the plot twists for everyone else. If you haven't seen go see it. If you have go see it again a second viewing may help straighten out the chronology and some realizations in plot for you.
Iron Phoenix (2005)
Iron Phoenix review 03-25-05 Rating 9.7 Superb (with downloadable extras like new weapons, maps, and characters)
Boy its a shame I've been from website to website looking for a review of my current favorite game and there's not a single one on any of them. Sure I own the game now but really what good are they if they don't have a post release review of the game. First off I love this game. Its open ended and the fighting is fast frenetic and strategic. I never play on hard normal is hard enough given the sheer number of bots that can come after you. Challenge Ring is a treat but hard to complete. Gaming experiences will vary depending on how much time you are willing to put into button-mash err mastering the weapons and their exclusive styles of combat.
The following are some spoilers for Iron Phoenix if you wish to skip ahead without reading it then either keep scrolling down past this or do a page find for end1
****Spoilers alert**** Yo, where are they? In the OXM demo there were a few things different than the final game for one there were more explosive barrels in the Great wall of China map regardless of what mode you played in (VIP,Deathmatch or Team Deathmatch). Same is true of the chi orbs and the placement of all the orbs in general which now seem to be mode specific for some weird reason. the blue chi seems to be more scarce, the weapons pick up spots seem to be even more so scarce, but don't let this perturb you if you really want a particular weapon choose it from the nine that you must choose from. By the way that was all in reference to the Great Wall of China in death match mode. Some levers disappear in Giant kill mode.
Sure there may be some discrepancy for its lack of story but this must be said it does not have split-screen support you must have a system-link up or ether-net jack hook up to play against someone else by system-link or online or both.
The Story Sorry, actually there is a story you see part of it as the game first loads up but did you know that there are several movies that further flesh out the Legend of Iron Phoenix in the Extras option? If not they're under Legend of Iron Phoenix.
Hidden characters! Normally you'll only see 10 characters to choose from.
Alicia on the character select screen highlight Natashia and press X you'll see her twin sister
The last 7 hidden characters are all alternates to Guard Hihlight Guard and press x to choose a different character. Each press of x alternates from one character to the next and you can do this all the way until you reach Guard again.
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