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danielb-11
Reviews
San Andreas (2015)
Exactly what a "disaster movie" should be
I can't believe anyone would give this movie anything less than 7 stars, minimum. It delivers EXACTLY what a disaster movie is supposed to. Yeah--it was paint by numbers stuff, with pretty much every trope ticked off--but that's expected in the genre.
Effects were great, and plentiful. The performances were just as over the top as they should have been. It was cheesy but I'd rather have cheesy than a movie in this category that took itself too seriously.
Rating movies isn't apples to apples. Compared to a serious movie of course this is no masterpiece. As a representative of it's genre, though, it's up there with the best.
Knock Knock Live (2015)
Fake, and badly done fake to boot.
Oh god, what a train wreck. You'd think with all the feel-good reality shows over the years, any producer worth his 7 figure paycheck would know you have to give us a reason to want the people getting the windfall to get the windfall, but most of the segments, we are given NO IDEA why we should care. No 3 minute package showing all their troubles and tribulations--just some celebrity knocking on some stranger's door, then a FULLY dressed family coming out to the street full of people they somehow didn't notice trying to fake surprise. And then they're given some fairly unimpressive amount of money, or, if they're Hispanic, made to answer questions and crawl about picking fake bills out of the dirt.
And through it all, we get to listen to Ryan Seacrest -- who likely made more money in the time it took to air any ONE segment then the whole lot of 'em got in the entire show--tearfully act like this is the most spontaneous, heart-warming thing ever while LYING THROUGH HIS $100,000 teeth about it being a surprise on the part of the obviously prepared recipients.
Look--I'm all for reality shows that center on charity and benevolence over greed and competition--but OMG you have to have SOME basic storytelling competence to pull it off, and you shouldn't blow smoke up our asses about the shoe-wearing-beneficiaries of your charity being "surprised" at home. (They aren't, and they do a painful, humiliating job of trying to act like they are at the behest of the producers of this dreck.) Horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE show that has no respect for its audience or the people it makes lie, dance and crawl for trinkets and dollars.
Revolution (2012)
Problematic first season, hitting its stride in the second
Much of the first half of the first season was often painful--trite, unbelievable situations that overwhelmed the interesting premise. The series went on a hiatus, regrouped, and got progressively better. This upward swing has carried on through the 2nd season until we now have violent, post-apocalyptic world building that delivers on its initial promise of creating a western-tinged science fiction thrill ride, with a storyline that keeps moving and is prone to a high body count.
The superhero aspects of the sword-wielding main heroes was clumsy and out of place in the first season, but it fits the less-emo, more action-movie feel that's developed over time. They've virtually done away with the mawkishness that overwhelmed season 1 with its penchant for giving every death the violin treatment for ten painful minutes.
The characters, for all their sullenness have actually become, if not warm and fuzzy likable, at least worthy of being rooted for and engaging to watch. The bad guys (notably Tom Neville's icy competence)
are riveting even as they are over the top.
Right now, this is easily the best action show on network TV--if you gave up on it early on, I very strongly recommend giving it another look.
Independence Day (1996)
Top notch entry in the fun movie genre
This movie absolutely excels at what it aims to do: Entertain.
It's one of the most perfect Saturday matinée type movies ever made, squarely in the vein of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" or "Star Wars" or "Die Hard". Not meant to be over analyzed, meant to be enjoyed -- and please suspend your disbelief at the door.
Sometimes clichés and thin characters and corny dialog work--the boffo box office proves it's appeal, and so does the passionate love for this movie by the people (like myself) who aren't looking for it to be something it never set out to be.
Believe me, there are a LOT of movies that have clichés, thin characters and corny dialog that are unwatchable--this one does it right and with style. Thrilling special effects, a great sense of humor, perfect cast and fantastic pacing make it one of the most fun movies every made.
This is one of the first DVD's I ever bought, and I still remember the audience applauding when I first saw it. And I also remember how I left the theater with a big grin on my face.
God, I love this movie.
The Terminal (2004)
Dreadful Movie
Painfully bad. A tremendous waste of talent, or perhaps a shocking rebuke of presumed talent. Spielberg should be ashamed. Although based on what could have been a poignant story of a man without a country trapped in an airport by faceless bureaucracy, instead we get a movie with all the character depth of a police academy movie.
One or two inane, illogical scenes might be written off to the "whimsical" nature of the movie--but this tripe is riddled with scenes that literally made me cringe. My eyes hurt from rolling them at the awful, cloying attempts at romance. My ears hurt from the insipid, unappealing characters spouting dialog that had all the verisimilitude of an infomercial. And then, there were all the ridiculous, contrived situations followed by more ridiculous, contrived situations. I had heard this movie was mediocre, but I was unprepared for the sheer torture of sitting through it.
Please, don't bother to respond if you found this movie at all enjoyable. If that is true, if you found a shred of value in this train wreck of a film, there is no level at which I could engage you--we have completely different systems of taste, art, values. You obviously exist in some parallel universe, a bizzaro-world where gravity must repel, fish ride bicycles, and really, really bad movies seem good.
For those who live in MY universe, though, I strongly urge you to avoid this movie. Avoid it at all costs.