Change Your Image
matthew-armstrong-2
Reviews
Ling ye (1981)
Lost trash classic
I was lucky enough to pick this one up on VHS at a used book store. What a find! It's a bizarre, over-the-top HK women in prison flick. The cast is a surprisingly multi-ethnic mix of east asianers. A martial arts expert of debatable talent helps them after they escape. It's a tremendous curiosity that has fallen into a surprising lack of notoriety.
Highlights: A giant cat fight in a courtyard between the two rival camps of prisoners-- perhaps the biggest cat fight in cinema history. a bizarre, non-sensical ending in a hospital that I still don't understand and can't really describe. The homophobic disco sequence (an oxymoron?) in which the villain hits on the "hero."
"Eva Bisset" did no other movies that are on IMDb, and as far as I know is of no relation to Jacqueline. But the filmmakers didn't miss the opportunity to put her on the cover/ poster in the exact same (legendary) outfit that she wore in The Deep. And yet, the shirt is wet.
Blonde Fire (1978)
decent Wadd
For fans of trash cinema, Chinn/Holmes' Johnny Wadd pictures are worth checking out. They spend a lot of time on plotted scenes, costumes, and the actors really try to act, all with hilarious results.
I would start with Jade Pussycat, but this is a nice one too. Highlights: the goofy, retro backdrops that are supposed to represent South Africa (but really look like malaysia. The "blonde fire diamond" which looks like a doorknob from your grandmother's house. Any dialogue scene with Holmes.
Interestingly enough, this is billed as the first film for legendary porn star Seka, but she doesn't figure into the plot. At the denouement, Holmes says (and I'm paraphrasing) "And then I remembered that blonde back in San Francisco." Cue Holmes and Seka going through the motions.
I generally fast forward through the sex scenes, so if there was something remarkable, I missed it.
American Beauty (1999)
Shrill, self-indulgent pabulum
One of the most overly celebrated films in cinema history, American Beauty is a ridiculous piece of baby boomer self-indulgence.
The film is nearly devoid of inspiration, and what inspiration there is to be found is largely juvenile. Annette Bening and Chris Cooper (talented actors, both) give perhaps the worst performances of their characters. Their negative/villainous characters lack any sort of depth or fullness. They exist merely as tackling dummies for the heavy-handed messages of the film.
And what juvenile messages they are! Anyone who was surprised or moved by the ridiculous scene in which Bening refuses to make love to Spacey (lest they spill wine on their couch) is abandoning any sort of intelligent analysis. This sort of quasi-symbolic debate is what passes for a social statement in AB.
American Beauty is pornography for the upper-middle-class baby boomer. You can practically feel the desperation of the filmmakers to pleasure their audience with scenes of Spacey telling off his boss, returning to the passions of his youth etc. And the public fell for it, hook, line and sinker. Heavy-handed symbolism (Wow, rose petals! Gee, the color red sure shows up a lot! Wonder what that could mean?) and trite dialogue were easily ignored.
From a technical perspective, the film is highly competent, and as a result it will bore few. But it's essentially trash, and unimaginative trash at that.
Rocky IV (1985)
Exquisite dreck
This isn't a good film, really. But it's a fascinating, often enthralling piece of glitzy schlock.
With the fourth installment, almost all of the humanity and pathos that defined the first three films (for better or worse) is discarded, in favor of extreme superficiality. But as a result we get some truly beautiful sequences: Rocky's night-time Ferrari ride (which is essentially a music video), Drago's two ring entrances, and the prefight national anthems. Here Stallone uses all sorts of near-comical tones. Dramatic eyelights and strong colors rule the day throughout.
The film is a mess, but it's a thoroughly enjoyable one, and there is a certain art to it.