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AnnetteSchwartz05
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Dead Hot: Season of the Witch (2023)
so insignificant it can't even be described as fluff - 1/10
Imagine two grown women who have the combined IQ of a single schoolgirl. Imagine a string of failed relationships. Imagine an unhealthy interest in wicca and witchcraft because it's a safe-space and its somehow cool to tap into potentially malevolent forces.
Take these ingredients and send Vanessa Hudgens and Georgia Magree down to Salem to do some ghost-hunting. Add in various colorful Salem residents, let the pot boil for 98 (long) minutes and watch these two gullible characters become reborn and reinvigorated thanks to the accommodating business-people of Salem (who in no way profited with Ouija Board tuitions, book sales, wine sales, spiritual guidance, etc).
Watch two grown women bake cookies and over-share about how broken they are whilst dressing like they're 16. It's a truly inspiring tale that grinds The Patriarchy into the dirt and cannot be described as self-publicizing fluff for a Z-list actress and an obscure Australian-DJ.
Look out for the sequel next year where they set up a coven in LA where hi-jinks are aplenty.
If there's no Oscar nod next year for this masterpiece, I'm going to demand answers.
The Harder They Fall (2021)
the bad, the awful and the downright overlong
Too much chat, not enough action and a convoluted plot that goes on and on and on and on. Of course this is a NETFLIX movie which by definition hasn't been edited down. Because the longer the movie the less time you'll spend watching something else (however boring it is). At 2h 19m the 'story' could have fit into 90 minutes.
It's like a western you've never seen before and once you see it, you'll wish never to see it again. Everyone concerned should be embarrassed but you know Netflix will commission a million of these novelty 'time-wasters' in the coming years. Above this I recommend practically any other western, even an Adam Sandler or Seth MacFarlane one.
TL;DR a huge waste of time, go watch something else.
2/10.
Out of Blue (2018)
dull, boring, pointless
*** Spoilers ***
This movie tries too hard to be something it's not. On the surface it plays like a detective murder mystery but behind the scenes it's little duck-feet are busy at work trying to subvert your expectations by weaving in concepts of metaphysics and quantum-mechanics.
The dialogue is clunky and annoying for the most part. Most of the people interviewed seem to be lost in some sort of metaphysical headspace and never seem to be present in the movie. The acting is largely forgettable save a couple of big-hitters who felt wholly out of place; perhaps they were thinking about their next job.
The story is where it gets interesting, but no so much as to hold any sustained interest. People in the movie seemed obsessed by Schrodinger's Cat to the point where they are uncooperative with a ongoing murder investigation. Once it becomes a flood of people all saying the same thing and acting the same way the movie loses all narrative momentum and ceases to be interesting.
Ultimately the murderer is revealed to be the victim's father but by then it's too late because a better script-writer could have used the Schrodinger concept as a springboard rather than a point of stagnation/repetition throughout the whole movie.
If you've manage to sit this through this pseudo-intellectual dribble there's an hilarious scene towards the end where the detective storms into an office and is immediately restrained. She then proceeds to break free and assault her attacker. This seems fine except that for most of the movie she's had trouble standing up and now has suddenly become Mel Gibson on a Friday night! It was at that point I realised that the film had truly jumped the shark, or killed the cat if you will.
Recommendation: go watch a couple of youtube videos about Schrodinger's cat and save yourself the agony of seeing this excuse of a movie. Frankly I'd seen more interesting ideas in a Laurel & Hardy movie
Verdict: 3/10