DonaldDooD's Reviews

Nana (2006–2007)

4/10

24 December 2014

Some works of art can be tragic, yet amazing. Their lack of a happy ending can hit close to home, or emphasize a real truth about this world. Nana did not hit that sweet spot. Its a downer of a series - but isn't evocative enough. Its too happy and slow to be a drama, too merciless to be a romance or slice-of-life.

I liked the characters. I fell in love with our two Nanas from the first episode. I wanted them to succeed, and find real love. I knew they would go through a lot of trials and self-discovery, but I was excited for the journey. I sat through episodes, each slightly less cheerful than the last. The romances became less passionate, the Nanas more distant. I was eagerly waiting for the day things all came together.

Nope. I'm not that lucky. The world in Nana freaking sucks. People only grow apart. They don't learn their lessons, they don't overcome their difficulties, they don't have solid, healthy relationships. It is a downward spiral, so subtle that, by the time you realize the descent, you're 20+ episodes in.

But again, its not major enough to call it a tragedy. It just winds up melancholic. I ended up disliking everyone for not being mature enough to solve their issues. In real life, I'd expect more effort. I can't take away anything from this show.

I know some people can relate more to this anime than I can. Congrats. But it left me cold and empty. No powerful emotion, no new insight, wishing for the opposite. This show bites.

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Interstellar (2014)

8/10

This Better Be a Classic

21 December 2014

It is rare for me to be truly amazed at what's on the big screen. Impressed? Sure. Blow away? Almost never. But Interstellar was exactly what you wanted in a space odyssey film and more. Realistic, well-shot, detailed, atmospheric. It transcends the typical sci-fi action blockbuster, captivating with its sheer scope and mystery.

And Interstellar has what many other ambitious sci-fi films lack - human drama. Interstellar has actual, likable characters on screen instead of one-dimensional tools to move the plot.

There are numerous problems. The early exposition dialog is obvious. It was difficult to here people sometimes. There are some hammy moments, or failed attempts at insight. And your mileage on the ending may vary. But sometimes, you just can't nitpick every little thing about a movie, wishing it was tailor-made to suit you. Overall, I thought it was a great, beautiful sci-fi film. Watch it in the theaters while you still can!

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Belladonna of Sadness (1973)

6/10

Underwhelming, But Unique

30 November 2014

When I started the film, I was lured in by its bleak narrative and erotic imagery. If it weren't for the language, Belladonna would be unrecognizable as anime, with its realistic proportions, faded colors, sexual themes, and psychedelic imagery/soundtrack. I quickly emphasized with our lead's suffering, and the allure of Satan himself when all joy and hope is dead.

Unfortunately, while the initial premise was fascinating and sensual, Belladonna lacks the depth to make it a masterpiece. There is no real development. There are no likable characters. Jean doesn't ascend from her demons. Her downfall isn't particularly evocative. Its half emotional torture porn, half stoner fuel.

The animation is also kind of bad. Heck, most of the time, you're only given stills. Some shots are beautiful, but others seem very cheap. Others are nonsensical, immature pieces of graffiti that somehow snuck into an art film.

Belladonna seems disjointed between two opposite demographics and isn't good enough for either one. I wish someone could do this story better justice. But it was an interesting movie, especially for its time. Because of a few scenes and overall unique place in animation, I'd recommend it to those who are into more "art house" film. I wouldn't to those who want strong character and narrative.

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Last Vegas (2013)

7/10

A Feel-Good Comedy With a Sense of Balance

22 November 2014

Only 47% on Rotten Tomatoes? Sheesh. Its not high-art, but compared to other recent comedies I've seen, Last Vegas was Prince Charming. Other movies are just obnoxious with man-child characters and ridiculous situations. But with four Oscar-winning actors and solid writing, our aging gang felt quite real to me, while still being amusing.

The movie was funny, but also had a nice touch of drama. Each of our characters had importance in the story, and their own issues associated with aging. And when all is done, you feel glad they had a good time, and have come to terms with their life.

Is there a few too many old people jokes? Of course. Are some of the jokes already dated? Yeah, LMFAO and 50 Cent aren't going to be timeless, Muppet Movie-style cameos. Is the plot predicable? Arguably, but c'mon, its a comedy!

I enjoyed it quite a bit. Since comedy movies aren't my preference, I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt and give it a solid 7. Consider renting it.

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Fantasia 2000 (1999)

8/10

As Great As The First?

14 November 2014

I watched this one way more than the original as a kid. I never owned it, but my family must have rented it a dozen times. I kind of know the shorts like the back of my hand, so its hard to remain objective - not that I have too much nostalgia, but it just isn't as good after the twentieth viewing. :P

Whenever Fantasia 2000 exceeds or disappoints compared to the original depends on your tastes, and the mood you're in when you watch them. While they share the same structure, they're quite different movies. The first was uniform in art style, with mostly abstract tales. The shorts in 2000 vary greatly in style, and most do have a concrete narrative. Animation has also changed drastically through the decades, so 2000 feels distinctly modern.

I'd say Fantasia is the more beautiful, timeless of the two. But better? Well...I also like Fantasia 2000's energy, its variety, its attempts to portray character and plot without words as well as atmosphere. I'd love to call Fantasia my favorite animated film of all time...but its a slow, long sit. 2000 is more immediately entertaining, and is significantly shorter to boot.

Two notable flaws - A. The comedians between segments weren't that funny. B. They latched on "Sorcerer's Apprentice" for nostalgia's sake. They're not enough to effect the rating, though.

I don't know which is better. I think they're about equal. 2000 is a fine follow-up. Perfect? No. But its an enjoyable collection of animation. After rewatching it recently, I was still pleased. Even if you think it doesn't have a chance to capture the majesty of the first, its quality and originality make it an important movie for animation buffs to see at least once.

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Big Hero 6 (2014)

7/10

Cute, Pretty, Action-Packed, and Funny

8 November 2014

Some may say Big Hero 6 doesn't revolutionize the superhero genre. While that may be true, it does the job much better than most superhero movies I've seen. There is quite a lot to love about this movie. The voice acting is spot-on, the animation is bright and defined, and there are some great jokes. I loved how they took a good portion of the film to set things up. I loved the villain's appearance, how he mostly stayed silent, only using motions of his body. And who doesn't love the mechanical marshmallow Baymax?

The first scenes had some bad exposition dialog, but what really prevents me from loving the movie are the side characters. These heroes had little to do with the plot and had no development. The two dudes were very annoying, the least funny aspects of the movie. I wanted more characterization with the villain, but tbh, he's fine.

Its a very solid movie, that I think both adults and kids will enjoy. I'm glad Disney is keeping quality up, and trying different things. Go ahead and see it in the theater.

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Aoi Bungaku Series (2009)

6/10

What a Mixed Bag

5 November 2014

I had high hopes going into Aoi Bungaku. It tries to tackle serious subjects, adapting literary classics of Japan. And after seeing the first segment, I thought for certain I was in for something great. "No Longer Human" is a dark, somber, character-driven tale, with no real flaws beyond personal preference.

But then I got into 'In the Forest, Under the Cherry Blossoms in Full Bloom'. That was a hilarious train-wreck of clashing tones, from typical humor to freaking dark. The same tone existed for "The Spider's Thread", where a story about greed and salvation is also treated as a generic action show. Why is this character, by all means a monster, also treated like some badass?

"Kokoro" and "Hell Screen" weren't awful, but they didn't hit any sweet spots. But, after watching the segments out of order, almost losing hope, I reached "Run, Melos!"...and was kinda amazed by a beautiful segment about friendship. Its at least an 8/10, maybe a 9.

In the end, instead of a beautiful, immersive show, we got a balance of great, average, and bad. If nothing else, watch episodes 1-4 and 9-10 for some great drama. You could watch the rest if you're interested, but I wouldn't recommend it to highly.

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Imaginaerum (2012)

7/10

An Intriguing Fusion of Fantasy and Reality

30 October 2014

I'm not a Nightwish fan. I haven't heard a peep about this movie til I watched it. But having come across it, I was pleasantly surprised. Imaginaerum isn't a flimsy band cash-in, but a stand-alone film, enjoyable by metal and non-metal viewers alike.

Imaginaerum is a fantasy film, a world inside a fading musician's mind. These kinds of movies can be annoying sits for me. But Imaginaerum actually has rhyme and reason to its bizarre images. Heck, they probably explain too much! There is a lot of exposition dialog. By the end of the movie, you get a good grasp of this guy's life and torments. The effects are pretty good, considering the film's budget. I've seen films with over 10 times the money look way worse.

I could have enjoyed delving further into the relationships. The music could have been better, although it was far from awful. Regardless, if you loved films like Pan's Labyrinth or The Fountain, I think this one will quench your thirst.

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The Book of Life (2014)

4/10

A Frustrating Sit

24 October 2014

The Book of Life is so close to greatness, yet so far. I liked the characters. I liked the scope. I loved the animation, one of the few times 3D animation is as stylized as 2D. A complete rewrite and an additional 20 minutes could have made Book of Life an 8 or higher. Sadly, Book of Life has one of the most atrocious scripts I've seen in the theater. Its a dumb, annoying, unfunny movie, built for the modern kid over the family.

I can't go into every grievance I have. I was fuming in the theater, and just blazing in the car. The framing device is pointless. The narration is completely unnecessary. They can't decide to criticize or embrace their love triangle. There's tons of stupid slapstick characters. Serious moments are ruined by jokes. Characters speak in modern lingo. Plot points are brought up and resolved with a hand-wave.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! I feel like the writers should have taken a 101 college class, if only to learn "Show, don't tell!" Its humor lacks creativity or timing, and only hampers a relatively serious story. Book of Life is an inept train-wreck, saved by its artistry (I'm surprised it only cost $50 million).

Personally, I'd only recommend it for the die-hard fans of animation, or parents with nothing else to do. Its the most disappointing movie I've seen this year.

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Thor: The Dark World (2013)

4/10

No Lessons Learned

20 October 2014

Lulz. The IMDb rating is at a solid 7.2, but the written reviews are mostly panning the movie. And rightfully so. Thor 2 does little to improve from the last entry. While we have better visuals and more Loki, the character, plot devices, and comedic relieve are just as bad, if not worse. If it weren't for the enormous budget, the movie would have blew.

I usually give some lenience towards plot devices. You can't let small parts of a movie ruin the entire experience. But crap were they awful here. I've rarely seen a film so contrived, so desperate to use characters that don't belong. But we need to have the brothers team up, and who would our Norse God be without a beautiful woman by his side? The Aether has no rhyme or reason to what it actually does, and the villains were store shelf. But none of the characters had enough time to develop beyond movie clichés.

I disliked Kat Dennings in the first one. Now I hate her. She's a complete ditz who has no respect for the impossible events going on. She breaks tense moments with dollar-store lines, devoid of comedic creativity. But we also have some useless intern, and Dr. Erik Selvig. He's turned into "movie crazy", a man who acts delusional, but is really a misunderstood genius. Its a stupid and offensive plot point, made by imbeciles who don't know, nor care, about mental health. Thor's Girlfriend (it might as well be her name) still lacks any connection with Thor, and is such a bit player in the story. She's supposed to be a genius scientist, but everything she says is Hollywood gobbledegook.

The only strength beyond the production values is Loki. Most of the good moments of the film revolve around him. He has the most personality, and is the only character to develop in any way. But his relationships still need fleshing out. I need more time to buy his love and hate for his family.

Are you really that desperate for a time-waster? C'mon. There are better action movies out there. Thor: Dark World will soon be forgotten. I'd never recommend it, but there's worse I suppose.

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The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

10/10

"Who Is The Monster And Who Is The Man?"

12 October 2014

The most enduring complaint about Hunchback is they Disenyfied a story too dark for children. While many stories by Disney are know to be inappropriate in their original form, Hunchback is the one film that's still too mature after adaptation. This isn't really a kid's film. There's not enough action, not enough comedy, not enough fun. The themes the movie presents will just fly over their heads. Hunchback hurts itself by including comedic relief characters, especially the gargoyles.

However, I think that Hunchback can get away with that because it's the greatest movie ever made.

I love this movie. Its perfect in so many ways, I can tolerate the occasional sight gag or odd music number. Its beautiful, its emotional, it transcends what you'd expect from a Disney film. It explores the themes of religion, discrimination, and love without resorting to the tropes found in other movies, both cartoon and "adult".

The main cast has great characters, who show off the full range of emotions. The villain is especially good - Frollo is despicable...but self-righteous and conflicted. He rings much truer to real life than any other Disney villain. And it makes him so much more compelling...and frightening. But let's not forget about the shy, kind Quasimodo, the heroic Phoebus, and the feisty Esmeralda. They're all good, with perfect voice acting. And we see them in both calm and dramatic moments.

And the music! God, how isn't this recognized as the best soundtrack of all time!? The songs range from whimsical, somber, uplifting, even epic. The chorus dominate the mood, and make Hunchback feel gigantic. The music isn't just their to sing-along with your kids. It helps tell the story, and delves into the bottom of the character's hearts. Its the exact stuff to add goosebumps to my skin. The animation is top quality, especially on the cathedral.

I could write an in-depth analysis on Hunchback. And I hate such film school seriousness! Its the best movie I've seen, and will be almost impossible to top. I know comedic relief can be distracting, but its less than 10 minutes of mild slapstick vs 80 minutes of masterpiece. I recommend this highly to everyone that asks.

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Guyver: The Bioboosted Armor (1989–1992)

5/10

What a Tease!

11 October 2014

This adaptation of Guyver could have been a retro action classic. Its not a masterpiece by any means, and it isn't humorously bad. But as a dark, animated Tokusatsu show, its very fun. It has a plot, cool designs for our hero and the monsters, brutal action scenes, good pacing, even a good soundtrack! Usually I'm not a fan of "simple" stuff, but I'm biased towards retro sci-fi anime, so Guyver was close to scratching my itch.

But as I got deeper into this 12-episode OVA, it dawned on me that there was no time for Guyver to finish. And finish it did not. Guyver is based on a manga...that's ongoing to this day. While it changed parts of the story, it still followed the manga closely. It didn't create its own plot and ending, and didn't even have enough time to finish the second arc. Its like Guyver, a direct-to-video anime, somehow got canceled.

Booooooo!

So, does Guyver merit watching at all? Maybe. Again, the series is pretty awesome while it lasts. There's nothing to take away, though, and retro action is a niche few can enjoy. If you like the idea, you can watch it if you got nothing else to do. Just be prepared - what you're watching isn't art, and you're not getting an epic final battle. A shame, but c'est la vie.

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Elfen Lied (2004)

7/10

Going With My Gut On This One

11 October 2014

Depending on who you ask, Elfen Lied is either a deep, disturbing masterpiece cut short or shallow, exploitative, and pandering. Elfen Lied is one of the most violent, dismal shows out there, with a good deal of nudity, too. It can be tough to watch, and one has to question the point of the exploding bodies.

I kind of love it. Its rare to sit through something absolutely bleak. It starts with a bloodbath, and only goes downhill from there. And in contrast to the usual anime violence, the plot is melancholic at best, misanthropic at worst. It wants to tear apart your heart stings, and it even penetrated my soul.

But I have to wonder if there's any objectivity here. I liked many characters, but I'm not sure how to feel about our most important trio, Kouta, Yuka, and Lucy/Nyuu. I can defend their personalities, but I probably couldn't defend their love triangle. The love in this anime exists less because of passion and compatibility than it does convenience. They sell it well, though.

There are bigger problems. Elfen Lied looks cheap. Not a single scene is impressive from a visual standpoint, and the main cast have titanic eyes. Elfen Lied has fan service in a morbid story, often with underage characters. The nudity in the labs was fine, but elsewise was out of place and creepy. Most infamously, its ending is relatively quick. Its an ending, but it leaves you wanting a bit more, and is not true to the manga.

The opening is one of the best out there. "Lilium" is hauntingly beautiful. A mixture of joy and sorrow fills my heart every time I hear it. Good thing, too - its pretty much the only song they play in the anime. I'm glad they found their "Requiem for a Dream". The opening also has the only good animation in the show. Its the closest cartoons have ever come to "erotic".

I'd recommend it if you want a somber mood, and can tolerate gibs. Its only 13 episodes long, so you have little to lose...besides your good mood. :c

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Akira (1988)

2/10

Easily The Worst Anime I've Ever Seen

9 October 2014

This was the game changer? Really? Wow. I can't believe that a movie with such poor writing is considered one of the all-time greats, the anime that brought the medium to The West. Its 2 hours long, but its worse than Genocyber in terms of character development and explanation. I felt helpless as the plot unfolded, each point more out-of-damn-nowhere than the last. Things only happen because Akira wants them to. Who cares about logic?

As if there's a reward for interpreting the cryptic writing. These characters are awful. Most of the cast has no personality beyond their role: "biker", "colonel", "scientist", or "politician". The two lone exceptions are Tetsuo and Kaneda. Tetsuo apparently has a huge inferiority complex that makes him homicidal immediately after getting his powers. We barely see him struggle, but we hear him b!?$% about it throughout. Kaneda is just a dumbass. Rude, violent, and annoying, without any backstory. Instead of creating a strong relationship between these two, all we get is bike chase scenes and yelling the other's name.

The saddest part is, honestly, the animation is among the best out there. The level of detail on such a grandiose city is astounding. The animation is smooth, and it overall conveys the dark tone. The weird moans and yells of the soundtrack also strangely work out. Too bad its wasted!

This is one of the worst written films I've seen. Akira cares far more about fast bikes and bloody deaths than character development. Not one character resonated with me, and the ass-pull ending was emotional anti-matter. I hate this movie.

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Batman & Robin (1997)

6/10

Campy Fun - What's Wrong With That?

8 October 2014

Man, y'all probably saw Flash Gordon and thought, "Well, that was stupid." I can't even give Batman and Robin my usual good bad movie rating of 5 because it was actually trying to be campy. And it succeeds! The one-liners are ridiculous, the villains are cartoonish, and its all on a big budget. And sometimes, the silly tropes of comic books need to be laughed at.

While Chris O'Donnell was annoying, most other complaints can be answered with "Its not supposed to be taken seriously!" Ice puns? Hockey fights? Bat credit cards? They all contribute to the light-hearted mood. If anything, it could have had more jokes.

Why do people complain about this over Batman Forever? Batman Forever was both too serious and too campy. Even if Batman and Robin went in a direction most fans didn't like, at least it was interesting and consistent. If anything ruined the franchise, it was Forever.

I thought the movie was fun. As manufactured bad, you can riff on it with friends with little dead air. Lighten up a little, bros. We don't need dark and gritty every comic book flick.

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Demon City Shinjuku (1988 Video)

3/10

There's Good Bad Anime...Then There's Bad Bad Anime

7 October 2014

Yoshiaki Kawajiri has some fun, if questionable, popcorn flicks under his name. Demon City Shinjuku (where did the name Hell City Shinjuku, US come from?) is not one of them. DCS is everything bad about the violent anime of the era, and nothing good. Worst of all, it has little to laugh at, or guilty-pleasure action.

The hero is the stock, young, masculine, Japanese every-man. The villain is evil with no character behind him. The love interest is simply there, and lacks any real reason for affection. Their pasts are empty, their presents are uninteresting, and their futures lack change. There isn't even wasted effort here. Its just as pandering as the shallow moe anime of today, only for a different audience of a different time.

The animation and action scenes are alright, but without any likable context to ground them, I wasn't amused. You can see this kind of stuff in many other crappy forgotten demon anime. The one saving grace is a fight with a seductive demoness on a pool table. It was the stylized, over-the-top bad I like from Kawajiri. But its a lone, short scene. You've also got a final battle that's easily won through deus ex machina, like they couldn't come up or afford an actual fight. That ruins the film even for the most tolerant retro-nerd side of me.

There are hundreds of anime out there. And there are dozens that are more exciting, campy, or embarrassing. While I can't say I hate DCS, there isn't a good reason to see it.

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Cyber City Oedo 808 (1990–1991)

5/10

Trash That Makes You Want More

7 October 2014

Cyber City Oedo 808 (what a mouthful!) is low-brow alright. But its quite close to being so campy its legitimately good. Its got some cool sci-fi elements, with one of the trashiest dubs I've seen. The dialog wasn't just translated, but saturated with swears and even rewritten to suit a raunchier script. Thank God that happened, because they made some of the most awful, awesome lines in history, period! Its perfect for a show focused on guts and scrap metal over plot.

Heck, the stories aren't that bad. In fact, they may even be too serious for this kind of show. Each episode focuses on a different member of the force, and display a unique aspect of this cyberpunk world. There are attempts to add more sympathetic characters than our trash-talking, violent ex-criminals, but they have too little time to make an impact.

The worst part about the series? Honestly, its that there's only three episodes. You only scratch the surface of these characters and their explosive adventures. There's no over-arching plot in the OVAs, and no conclusion. I feel like I've watched three episodes from a TV series instead of a direct-to-video one. Where can I see the further adventurers of Sengoku, Gogol, and Benten? :c

Ah well. Overall, its the exact junk food you want to watch occasionally. Its a 5 out of 10, but it doesn't get that rating for being boring, typical, or unwatchable. Definitely watch the English dub, preferably the U.K. edition if you want some kickin' synth rock.

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Ninja Scroll (1993)

5/10

The Good Kind of Crap

6 October 2014

First of all, the fact that this has a 7.9 on IMDb is freaking retarded. This isn't an action anime masterpiece. Its dumb, its shallow, its exploitative. If anything, it takes itself too seriously, taking time away from the action in an embarrassing attempt to develop the plot, characters and romance. Ninja Scroll is not an anime you wear proudly on your shoulder.

But it is one of the better bad anime out there. Its so over-the-top in its gore and sleaze, its impossible to not laugh. The eight evil villains are a blast - they're less ninjas, and more X-men. They're very powerful and unique, but our hero always manages to survive. The action is pretty sweet. I had to rewind because the first scene was so fast, yet so busy! Add some good animation, and you've got action that never gets old.

Do not expect a great anime going in, or you'll cringe at the awful dialog and rape scenes. Watch it when you have no dignity to lose. Then you can appreciate Ninja Scroll's bloody insanity.

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Paprika (2006)

5/10

Too Chaotic To Love or Hate

6 October 2014

I feel like Paprika is almost criticism-proof. Any bad thing I have to say about it can be attributed to intention. The dialog is poor, plot points pop out of nowhere, and logic is thrown out the window. But this all seems to be adding to the mood, a dream-like movie that doesn't follow reality.

But I just don't see the point of this accomplishment. Its weird for the sake of being weird...so? That leaves no impression on me. It could have been any random assortment of images and be just as effective. I can't love a movie through mood alone.

At least it was an interesting sit, with fine animation and plenty of bizarre action. If you're into this kind of style-over-subsistence, then you may love it. For me, its more forgettable than amazing.

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The Iron Giant (1999)

8/10

An Unexpected Classic

5 October 2014

Everyone loves The Iron Giant. Who can hate this movie? Its got the adventure any kid would wish, and the serious moments that leave goosebumps on your skin. The characters are energetic, and quite likable, with more dimension than the standard kid's film. Heck, it even makes me like the 1950s, arguably the dullest, most white-washed decade of the 20th century.

Its funny, its suspenseful, its heart-warming...its just a good animated film in all areas. You'll love the kid, you'll love the suave beatnik artist, and of course, you'll love the powerful, mysterious, yet gentle, Iron Giant himself. Its defiantly one of those movies I'll keep returning to throughout the years.

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Vampire Hunter D (1985)

6/10

One of the Better Violent Animes Out There

5 October 2014

Demonic villains! Near-constant panty shots! Super powers! And bloody deaths! Vampire Hunter D is one of those animes of the era. Exploitative in sex and violence, and generally unambitious. These kinds of anime can either be atrocious or hilarious, if not both. Vampire Hunter D earns distinction because, in comparison with others, it isn't as focused on raunch. There's efforts to build character, and there's a cohesive plot. Granted, it isn't great by any means, but you have something to attach to beyond the action.

Elsewise, its what you'd expect. And if you're up for that kind of movie, Vampire Hunter D is pretty fun. Its mixture of Gothic fantasy and dark sci-fi give it a unique aesthetic compared to its peers. Its got the twists and thrills you'd want, too. I'd say it even has a good synth soundtrack! The animation isn't that good, though. It passes well enough, but sometimes its embarrassing.

It gets your blood pumped, and elicits a few good laughs. Its not good good, but its not bad good either. I enjoy it for what it is - popcorn that doesn't taste too familiar. If you want the ultimate Vampire Hunter D experience, watch its follow-up, Bloodlust, after this.

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The Illusionist (2010)

3/10

The Sugar Daddy

4 October 2014

Warning: Spoilers

A reoccurring theme of my negative reviews is my attack on novelty. Just because a movie has unique, brilliant aspects doesn't make it a great film. It needs to use its assets and ideas to build its plot, world, and characters. It shouldn't go halfway. Yet so many times I've seen films declared as masterpieces when I felt they were hollow. The Illusionist is the best film to display my point. The Illusionist's animation is beautiful, detailed, colorful, and stylized. But when you judge it on writing, The Illusionist is garbage.

Yes, The Illusionist lacks dialog, but that doesn't mean elements of plot and character aren't present. These are people, and there is a story to be told. The main character suffers from the problem of the starving artist, following his dream even when the world barely cares. He has an interesting, noble motivation...until he decides to adopt a daughter.

I'm sorry, but this character is a complete ditz. She looks like she should be in her tweens or early teens, but has no understanding of the world around her. She believes in the magic of cheap parlor tricks. She seems to have no idea of the illusionist's poverty. Yet he showers her with gifts he could never afford, with no awareness on her part. She's immature, and he only acts as an enabler.

The illusionist could have provided her a humble home, with simple pleasures any child can enjoy. He even gets a solid job! After working hours upon hours on odd jobs, he finally finds one where his skills at magic earn him a decent living. Happy ending? Wrong! He finds the job demeaning, and quits! And without enough money to lavish the young girl like she's a princess, he just leaves her with her boyfriend. Hope they don't break up!

This is a sacrifice? BS. This is giving up on someone you supposedly love. Its shameless. Its refusing to grow up, and take responsibility for your actions. In real life, he'd be a deadbeat dad. But we are emotional creatures. And with the right visuals, the right music, and the right angle, we can be believe he's some misunderstood genius, who only wants best for his little girl. I could not care, or even respect, these two characters.

It doesn't help this film is horribly paced. Its too slow. There's too little plot. There's not enough personality. And I don't hate silent films! Heck, The Triplets of Belleville was fun, and it was by the same directer! It feels like a 2 hour plus sit...and its only 79 minutes long.

I love animation. I'm even giving this movie a star for its wonderful beauty. I can't fall for this film's illusion. It sucks.

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The Secret of NIMH (1982)

6/10

Dark, But Standard

4 October 2014

This movie has earned a following over the years, more than a few ranking it as one of the best animated movies ever. Its a prestigious title for a film that can be found in the Walmart bargain-bin, packaged with its sequel. Yet once again, I found myself quite disappointed.

The plot and character is surprisingly stock. The Secret of NIMH's writing does feel like a standard kid's film. There's little development, few deviations from what'd you expect. There's the hero, the villain, the comedic relief. Mrs. Brisby is likable, at least. I just felt more could have been done with the world presented. And let's not forget that deus ex machina at the ending.

NIMH's strengths are its animation, and its use of tone. NIMH is aesthetically dark, making the forest and underground look like horrific worlds. The Great Owl and Nicodemus are great highlights of the film. You feel such a powerful, intimidating aura, like these characters possess inhuman knowledge, and they're talking animals! I can see how this movie chills people to their bones.

If this aesthetic interests you, then its worth checking out. It didn't impress me too much, but I decided to be more lenient. Cause heck, I'd watch it again if someone offered. I wouldn't go in expecting a great plot, though. Wind up in the mood, and don't get bogged down by the plot.

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Law Abiding Citizen (2009)

5/10

The Litmus Test for Viewer Idiocy

2 October 2014

Warning: Spoilers

I didn't love this film by any means. It focused too much on the violence, not enough on the characters, and its plot is impossible. But I will have to give it this - its themes and execution have revealed a lot about the movie-going audience. Indeed, they're dumb, emotional, and shallow.

People love to romanticize vigilante justice. Its brave, rebellious, and edgy! Of course people would cheer for a man giving eeevvviiilll villains their just desserts. "Who cares if he's breaking the law? He's the good guy! Our justice system screwed him over!" What empty platitudes. While no justice system is perfect, it is far better than vigilante justice. Its easy to defend it as some glorious act when its against a murdering rapist. People forget when it hits the innocent, or those who stood a chance at reform. Believe it or not, people actually have different opinions. And we can't allow all of them in our legal system.

Yet time after time, I've seen people hate this film because it doesn't let them indulge in their vigilante power fantasy. They want the film to pander to their wants, ignoring the horrible deeds vigilantes can commit. And such a movie would be boring. For all its faults, at least Law Abiding Citizen tries to show how desire for revenge can encompass one's life, that "good" and "evil" are sometimes intertwined. It mostly failed, but it at least tried. But that's not what the audience wants, I guess. Just impossible intelligence, impossible success, and impossible luck, no message of real subsistence attached. As pure as justice porn gets.

I think I should start showing this movie to new people I meet, just to judge their character. This may be my most visceral disagreement in film. In a world filled with generic action films, I can't believe people not only want another unchallenging popcorn flick, but demand a film cater to their personal fantasies. Its depressing.

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Code Geass (2006–2008)

8/10

A Wonderful Mess

24 September 2014

If you told me Code Geass sucked, I wouldn't even flinch. There's too much going on, and a lot of it falls flat. Its a mecha anime, its a high school one, and it has aspects of fantasy. Its serious, its funny, its ecchi. It has feats of genius, and feats of pure power fantasy. It has, no joke, dozens of plot twists. More than a few of them come out of nowhere, and one of them is among the worst plot devices in history. Plot points have unsatisfactory answers, accelerate three times too fast, or get bogged due to clutter.

F it. I'll still support this show. Its pretty fun, it has some great suspense, generally good pace, and a few emotional scenes. The characters are mostly likable and three-dimensional. Lelouch, our lead, develops, and has moments of sorrow and heartlessness. And the action is top-notch. These knightmare frames are fast! And no battle is a push-over. Some of the plot twists are mind-blowing, too.

A lot of people love this anime. I know more than a few who dislike it. I can't say you should check out the first episode to decide, because that only breaches the surface of Geass's strengths and weaknesses. Regardless if you'll love it or hate it, its defiantly something out of the ordinary.

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