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Reviews
Orphan: First Kill (2022)
So what if Isabelle is older? I dont care
Isabelle being older didn't distract me in the least.
I LOVED the way this film made Esther/Leena into more of an anti-hero, I think that was a really clever twist. One flaw and I wish it would have been expounded upon, but I wanted to see Esther really want justice for the little girl who was murdered by her own brother-that must have made her feel so bad for her. All Leena wanted was love for who she was, and hearing about a little girl so carelessly done away with and dumped down a hole must have hurt, but at the end there is ultimately no justice for the real
Esther Albright. But all in all, this film was riveting, Isabelle's age made virtually no difference, and I can't wait to see another one! Also the climax did seem rushed and I wish it could have been longer. But seeing how it all played out and how Esther beat the family
at their own sick murderous game was so fun. 8/10.
Murder, She Wrote: Trial by Error (1986)
A HIGHLIGHT of Season 2
This episode and the one in the women's prison are the BEST of season 2. This episode is suspenseful, tense, and you are just waiting to see what happens. Jessica solves it brilliantly and I was so annoyed by how everyone kept doubting her. Don't people know her reputation? Baffled me. But it doesn't take away from the episode, and the CHILLING ending where Mrs. Angela Lansbury gets the LAST WORD. The look she gives the killer and her last time...is something that I won't forget. Great ending and conclusion and a surprising twist.
Murder, She Wrote: Jessica Behind Bars (1985)
My FAVORITE MSW episode of ALL TIME
I don't care that its not realistic, this episode is so tense and dramatic and the acting is so good. Its heartfelt, with Mary's struggle, and I just kept guessing with this one on first watch and the best part is that its highly rewatchable.
Law & Order: Severance (2022)
Continues to be a let-down
I will keep watching, probably because nothing better to do, but the raw and gritty nature of old Law and Order is just totally gone in these episodes. Where can we see detectives sleeping off a long night like we saw in season 2 of SVU? Where can we see some intense, emotional moments like THE Anita Van Buren staring down a racist and delivering some composed sass or yanking a fleeing criminal down a flight of stairs? These episodes are the same runtime as the OG and it still flies by so fast, because nothing really substantial is happening. Just a snoozefest. The writing is just lazy. It's too polished. Too slick. Maybe it's because of everyone wearing masks for so long, but the acting just isn't there anymore. Nobody's connecting. I hope it gets better with a good old fashioned serial killer on the loose, instead of the social commentary type episodes.
There hasn't even been a good chase sequence or a raid yet; maybe it's because they're getting back on their feet after the hiatus and/or COVID. They do need to step it up to keep my interest, but it's a good thing I love the theme song enough to keep me staying a good bit longer.
Law & Order: Legacy (2022)
More social/political commentary
I will be honest. I do love the new season's ability to make it relevant to today's hot button issues about politics, liberal vs conservative fighting back and forth, social issues etc etc but I do wish we could see an episode soon with a good old fashioned serial killer or a love triangle murder plot. That's what made Law and Order so good, is that you saw the entire spectrum of crime. But every episode of Season 21 seems to be about social and political issues, at least this episode started out political and then delved into an episode about parenting. And to the above commenter, the father WAS an enabler. He literally gave a minor a weapon.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: Popular (2002)
Good as always
First impression was that Elliot acted unprofessionally and did damage to victims, and that Kathy was a blabbermouth.
However, on second watch, it actually was the nurse's fault. Kathy should have been grateful to lose a blabbermouth like her. The nurse should have kept that information totally confidential, she is the one who started the game of telephone that got a girl pushed down stairs, so I don't know why Elliot was taking the heat.
Other than that, it's a stellar episode that shows the true nastiness of high school.
Halloween Kills (2021)
Another trashy sequel
The guys making this film said "We will bash you over the head with what you loved about Carpenter's original"
And then they did none of that with Kills, maybe scarcely in 2018's "Halloween", but Kills featured nothing out of Carpenter's work. Carpenter's Halloween is maybe 15% violence, with hardly any blood shown, and the rest of it is storyline, character work, great dialogue, camera work, Michael stalking, tormenting and teasing his victims...I mean the only part that came close to Carpenter's work was Michael hanging his corpses from the swing set, which was the only part of the movie where I wasn't bored to tears. There is no build up. No suspense. Even in H20 the kills were spaced out and done using already established set pieces, and involved characters you cared about, not a random gay couple or a random elderly couple that you only spend ten seconds with. Michael was so methodical, and chillingly patient(didn't speak a word for fifteen years), and took his time to traumatize his victims before killing them in the original film. In this one he is a roid monkey, a robot designed for destruction, and the original Myers at least had some
humanity in him. Enough for him to have some fun and wear a sheet on his head for Lynda. Ever since Rob Zombie made Myers out to be a ruthless PCP loaded animal, instead of a patient, intelligent, methodical killer, people have followed suit but it just isn't frightening to see anymore. It almost was comical watching Michael kill people in Kills as if he's killing roaches-one girl even accidentally shoots herself. And I laughed at a person dying. In a horror film. Also, Jamie Lee is stuck in a hospital for the whole time so I can only hope Michael actually comes to the hospital in the third entry and they have a badass fight, but even then, we would be missing out on what made Myers so great. His ability to slowly drive his victims into pure terror, stalk them, and force them to have to outwit him. But this film? This is just to shed as much blood as possible. Not actually make you root for anyone.
Law & Order: Married with Children (2004)
Great episode but I'm confused
Very thought provoking and emotional episode, but I just dont get why they didn't charge Bishop with manslaughter. It was clear she killed Lisa without malice.
Manslaughter seemed like a much more appropriate sentence.
Fender Bender (2016)
Stupidest slasher film I've seen in a while
So, first I'll describe the good things about this film. Some of the shots were brilliant, and the atmosphere, tension, and the excellent stalk-and-slash eighties feel of this film was very nice. Just a guy in a mask stalking some teens, very nice job.
Then we get to the ending and I was screaming at the screen. The heroine was a total idiot.
She burns him with a cigarette lighter for like five seconds, thinks hes dead, doesn't bother to pick up his knife and finish him off, and goes back inside the house into a room with no other escape and starts calling 911. Why didn't she get in one of the four operating vehicles on the premises and leave? There were FOUR cars on that lot, all working, and then when the killer corners her back in the house, she refuses to jump out the huge window beside her, and backs into a corner to meet her fate.
Honestly, that ruined the entire thing for me. The blond girl is also equally as dumb. She lies there and watches the car roll over her, instead of lying in the middle of the tracks and sliding under it.
If not for the stupidity of the characters, this would have been a great flick.