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dragontiger1988
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Gebissen wird nur nachts - das Happening der Vampire (1971)
Stupid funny turn your brain off during it kind of flick
Were to begin, this flick is a horror comedy and most certainly isn't a bad movie by any means. It is entertaining as heck to watch. But put your thinking on off mode during it and remember it was made on a low budget to were it looked dated around the time it was released. The story is well if there is much to tell is an actress from LA flies overseas to go to a mansion her Grandmother owned, to meet with a cowardly caretaker. The caretaker is scared of her thinking she is the vampire grandmother. The actress later learns of her Grandmother is still around in vampire form and she accidentally released her. So most of the movie the caretaker is jumpy scarred at the sight of either women not being able to tell them apart when he sees them threw out the mansion. The movie has it's share of sex jokes and topless vampire women. But you will have to go check this flick out to learn about the rest, as I'm not going to give away everything in this review. If you like vampires and old horror movies then go see this one. If your easily offended by nudity in movies then you maybe need not watch this flick. I rate it 7 out of 10
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
The Beginning of the end for Star Wars
Star Wars Episode 1 The Phantom Menace was one of the most hyped films of the 90's and a 16 year wait for a new Star Wars entry in the series.
Once the film released in 1999 it was hard to absorb what we witnessed the first viewing. This was totally different for episodes 4, 5, and 6.
First problem among many of this movie was no main protagonist for us the audience to relate to. Also no main enemy like Darth Vader. Darth Maul is just there looking bad with about 10 minutes of screen time the entire 2 hours and 20 minute run, and the Emperor, though not made Emperor of the Galactic Empire yet is a secret villain only being bad and evil in hologram form during this movie. To wrap things up this movie is terrible with no story that makes any since. Most of the actors are cringe worthy bad at delivering there lines. Too much fake looking CGI in the movie that looks like a video game. Stupid poop jokes. If you've never scene Episode 1 then don't, it is a waste of film, money, and definitely everyone's time who looked forward to having more Star Wars entries. Star Wars The Force Awakens in set to come out later this year with no Lucus writing or directing. Lets hope the fans this time around will get the Star Wars Trilogy we have wanted since 1983.
La orgía nocturna de los vampiros (1973)
Don't get tricked by this false title this film has!
Were to begin with this stinker. Well I own a collection of famous horror films DVD box-set that happen to have this film included on. I would think by the title I would get something naughty for an adults only. I looked at the year 1974 and knew to expect something not as graphic as the kind of stuff we see today in horror/ vampire stories, but at least something worth the ride to watch. But when I began watching The Vampire's Night Orgy first problem I found with it is the dubbed English version that was on the DVD box set is terrible. It stands out really bad that they aren't putting in the right voice acting work for what the actors really were saying when the film was actually made.
So the main leads of the film decide to make a detour to a village that appears no where on a map. When they arrive at night and go into a tavern it seems no one is in this village but one creepy guy with brown straight hair and a mustache that arrived shortly before the main lead characters. The creepy man tells them all he checked the whole village and no one is anywhere not even in church since the village has no churches. So they drink liquor in the tavern and everyone goes to the bedrooms for bedtime. The creepy mustache man decides to copy Norman Bates from Psycho and spy threw a whole into the wall and watch a blonde woman undress in the next room. Oh and this happens more than once during this film.
Anyways to speed things up the first killing happens the first night they are in the village. The next morning everyone awakes to the village having a few more people up and running. The leader of the village tells our leads of the film sorry no one was around to welcome them last night. Everyone was at the village cemetery for a funeral. The main leads want to leave but the people insist they stay. So since they have guest they need food for them. So a big Axe man who works as a cook chops off another man's leg, so they have meat to feed there guest. Off screen the bus and the car our leads arrived in are tampered with to not start so they are stranded.
The 2nd night same-thing no one is around at night it seems. A vampire countless has sex with one of the guys who came to the village only to suck his blood and throw him outside to the other vampires. Then in the next scene her fangs aren't even bloody after just killing the guy.
Alright so our two main leads meet in a room the creepy mustache man and the blonde woman and discuss that things are very fishy around this village when the sun goes down. They plan to fix the severe connection to the car during that day and leave at night, only to be spy-ed on by a villager. That night they decide it is every man for himself and leave behind the others and the two of them escape. Then the vampires make there move and pile on there car and they try to break in to kill our leads but they escape only to get attacked by the countless vampire hiding in the backseat. Wonder why she didn't just attack sooner why all the other vampires were being magnets on the outside of the car. They steak the countless several times in the heart and she dissolves into acid and maggots. The man and woman decide to take refuge in the next village over to tell the authorities what they've scene. Which in reality no one would go screaming to police, "I was in a village full of vampires trying to kill me, they destroyed my car as I escaped!", unless you want them to lock you up in a mental institution. Anyhow they tell the police there story. The police don't believe a word of it and look at a map and tell them there is nothing in the area they told them they were at. So the man, woman and police go drive out there and the village isn't there. The police ask, "Are you convinced now?" The film is finally over! Well thats the plot of this film and for one it needs a different title, no sex orgy ever happened on screen, call it The Vampire's Night Massacre would be better. The music score sound is terrible and very inappropriate for scenes going on. The village and outdoor filming locations look bad like they went and filmed somewhere after a battle was just fought at. Most importantly don't waste your time and money on this film. You will just wish you could get it back after the film's credits start rolling.