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Age of Wonders: Planetfall (2019)
Well Polished, Alas that XCOM and Civ don't mix
Civ turns are supposed to take a few seconds to a minute to complete. They require a small amount of effort, more menial chores than actual strategy. You build the strategy over the course of hundreds of turns.
XCOM is carefully methodical. You have to prepare each piece for optimal output, and plan for their seemingly inevitable failure. The tactics at each turn can make or break the battle.
Age of Wonders: Planetfall has a Civ-style overarching map and sticks an XCOM battle roughly once every turn. A lot of turns, multiplied by a lot of time per turn, results in a massive slog through each campaign.
It's a shame, because I can comprehend the effort placed into this product. Paradox Interactive releases nothing but the finest quality products, and this game is no exception. The various factions, races, and character designs are original, with an unnerving feel to them (though in a positive manner).
But is it worth the time and effort I place into each bout? I sadly cannot bring myself to say "yes."
The Dwarves of Demrel (2018)
Ignore the marketing. Unapologetic 10. One of the world's best films.
Tl;dr: The film trailer and cover mislead the buyer, but Dwarves of Demrel is perhaps the best crafted drama I've witnessed.
I purchased a physical copy from the dollar store under the title "Dwarves of Dragon Mountain." A CGI drake dominated the cover page. There are NO DRAGONS save for a sparing few seconds in the opener. This is not that kind of movie, nor would I classify this alongside popular fantasy like Lord of the Rings. I wager that this was the advertising department's idea, and I similarly bet that this is unjustly maligned for that. While that sucks, I wouldn't have come across this otherwise, so for that I'm grateful.
This is one of the GREATEST CHARACTER STUDIES I've watched in cinema. It's not permanent high-intensity action (though those scenes do arise), but you hang onto every moment.
The dialogue is masterfully written; the choice of words is nigh immaculate. Several watchings later, I'm still impressed by how much nuance I've missed. The plot never misses a beat. The sound track was a tad odd on my first watch but surprisingly decent on my second. The cinematography, the clever usage of angles and focus, might be the most skillful of all! You feel the cramped spaces, the suspense, the hope in hopelessness to the very end (which I won't spoil here).
Each of the three main leads (as well as of the side roles) is three-dimensional and well rounded. I haven't seen these actors before, but they rival if not surpass the A-List Hollywood celebrities. For that hour and a half, they are real. Their costumes and mannerisms, clearly painstaking efforts of passion, help to sell their reality.
This was a triumph whose only fault was a misleading marketing department. If any elements of production can be salvaged from this, I eagerly anticipate their next project.
Richard III (1995)
Ian McKellen plays a Nazi, and it's fun
Or at least, the director's interpretation of one. Never thought I'd say that, or see that. Still, the imagery seems apparent enough to me. Honestly, the respective scene is the most memorable, and original, thing about this movie.
Ian McKellen plays a fine enough role. Robert Downey Jr. Is barely in it, but he plays the role as well as you could expect (imagine Doolittle or Sherlock Holmes, toned down, and that's about it). It's a modern reinterpretation, but it's still the same Shakespeare we all know and love. All the qualities of the movie are standard for a movie of this caliber (a 90's production about Shakespeare): cinematography, music, etc.
I got it at the dollar store, and I think that's a good approximate value.
Guillaume le Conquérant (2014)
You can feel the passion, and the low budget
Just a heads-up: this film is NOT about William's conquest of England; it's about his life in Normandy. Think Last of the Mohicans in early medieval France, and you're in the ballpark.
I suspect that the high medieval historical genre isn't that popular. Directors and producers wouldn't make a movie in that genre for the money, but because they have a story they want told. That's the exact sentiment I get from this film. It has a shoestring budget and subpar actors but a lot of heart.
The cinematography isn't stellar; I don't remember the soundtrack, and the English dub has one hilarious moment which I dare not spoil. Even with all these flaws, I recommend this highly. It's a love letter from the filmmakers to William the Conqueror, and you can feel every pen stroke.
Zelig (1983)
A movie about fitting in that doesn't fit with anything at all
This film is unique, in the most neutral of ways. I recommend it for the experience.
Sometimes the joke would be, "Here's Woody Allen in blackface!" with absolutely nothing more to the joke. Huh, that's weird, you think, but you keep watching. Then arrives a brilliantly crafted and developed joke out of nowhere. It takes you completely by surprise, especially because the previous joke was Woody Allen in blackface.
If I were to guesstimate the ratio, I'd say one brilliant joke for every two "meh" jokes. High-speed comedies can get away with that ratio because it keeps you consistently smiling, but this mockumentary is rather slow-paced and thoughtful.
I've never seen a comedy like this. I bought this movie at the dollar store, and I believe that it's worth that value. I hope this review was helpful!
Critical Thinking (2020)
Hollywood writes "da streetz"
If you enjoyed Akeelah and the Bee, I recommend you give this one a shot.
Good parts: The acting is incredible, from the side roles all the way to the main characters. The cinematography is similarly excellent. The music is serviceable, though nothing to write home about. The plot has all the developments we've come to expect from "Based on a true story" movies.
If you don't like politics in movies (especially identity politics), there are several moments in here. If you can't take those in stride, give this movie a wide berth.
The script: gosh, I wish that somebody in Hollywood would spend a season in the actual low-income areas of the United States. The one-liners and dialogue are painful. What's worse: the real-life chess players upon which this movie is based sound nothing like the caricatures presented in this film. The actors do their best to salvage what they can, but it's difficult to save a poor script.
I got this movie at the dollar store. I think it's worth my money, though not much more. I hope this review allows you to make a proper determination.
The Homesman (2014)
True Grit, but boring and stupid. Also poorly written and poorly acted.
tl;dr: Almost literally ANY Western (or, heck, historical) drama is better than this piece of pretentious, poorly written garbage.
"Oh, it's so dramatic to see the plight of these Nebraska women!" No it's not. The plots of each character are as contrived as any I've seen in a film. The only difference is that the story is written with utterly abysmal dialogue. None of the characters are likable, if only because the dialogue makes it too difficult to care about any of them (and yes, 1800s-speak is fine. Go watch Gods and Generals or either version of True Grit if you want to listen to 1800s-speak. The problem is that the writer confused "old-timey" with "bad").
The main character, Mary Bee Cuddy (Yes, she is as bland as the name sounds) is supposed to be cut out as a strong, independent woman. Again, no, she is not. Her whole shtick is that she lost her husband and has to do things by herself. She just comes off as bitter and, as the movie put it, "bossy," but neither determined like in True Grit nor somber like one would expect her to be, so it's impossible to connect with her. She tries to sing in the first ten minutes of the movie, with the help of a fake piano. God bless you if you managed to make it past THAT awkward moment. In fact, all the songs are terrible. Yes, there are multiple. At least half a dozen.
So, for all practical purposes, the plot (or what little there is of one) is this: women all over Nebraska live terrible lives, and some go insane. It is Cuddy's job to take them to Iowa because WHY THE HECK NOT! So Cuddy throws them all into a paddy wagon and, with the help of a washed-up drunk played by a disinterested Tommy Lee Jones, sets out for Iowa. It actually gets really hilarious seeing her continuously throw loons into the paddy wagon like some bottomless pit (one of whom is Eowyn, by the way. Not that she's important to the story or anything, just that it's more palatable to just imagine Eowyn in the loony bin). Now, to give my fellow reviewers the benefit of the doubt, all the characters sound and act more and more insane as the journey progresses, implying that insanity is infectious. That's not insanity, though. Every character in the movie speaks like that. It's just bad writing. There IS one fight scene in this movie. I won't tell you where. You'll just have to parse through this movie to find it. Mwa. Ha. Ha. Also, the ending is a slap in the face. I cannot go further without going into spoiler territory.
The best consolation I can give is this: if you go into the movie expecting physical pain, you will be spared. The movie is too lazy and too bland for THAT kind of torture.