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1/10
Totally Tasteless Art House/A Visual Insult
22 October 2008
With the onslaught of independent and art house films making the cut these days that indeed provoke positive thought, there seems to be plenty directors who use art house as a ploy for putting just anything into film. "Brown Bunny" ranks high on the list of films that disintegrates the spirit of decency in film making. The film lacked an interesting plot, which is a travesty in itself. Cinematography? Poor. Direction? None. Character development? Mastheads have more life. Reason for the movie? Well, I'd argue with anyone who says that it was not to feed into Vincent Gallo's narcissism.

The endless scenes of the road trip -- much of it involving a closeup of Gallo and out of focus -- was a recipe for a disastrous movie for starters. The contrived dialog didn't help and the "shocking scene" was nothing more than an upturned middle finger from Gallo as he smiled a thin smile at all who sat through his lumbering piece of work. At best, "Brown Bunny" was a home movie that has received far more press than it should have and Gallo knew it would get said press because of his little shocker.

A movie -- Hollywood, independent, or art house -- should have rising action, a climax, and a denouement to at least achieve some type of artistic or visual credibility. "Brown Bunny" threw all of that out the window and instead threw up minutes of "what?" and a controversial surprise that left Gallo with some money in his bank account and everyone else shocked, to be verbose. Clearly not every script should become a movie. And no one should use this movie as a disclaimer for something worthy of watching beyond the opening credits.
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Homebodies (1974)
9/10
Ode to be Old and Discarded
7 May 2007
I watched this movie with my grandmother when I was about 6 years old. The movie was PG, so I could get away with watching it then. What a hoot! We managed to watch that movie every time we could catch it on and the last line in the movie kept us laughing for the longest: It's me, Mattie.

I know that a movie about old folks killing to keep their homes may be totally horrific to today's society that salivates over brutality performed on perky-breast blonds, pencil-waist brunettes, and their associated blockhead boyfriends. The irony of "Homebodies" is that you're force to have to acknowledge those old folks for what they were doing -- whether you liked it or not. They refused to be pushed around and their tactics were crude, yet effective.

Having said that, I watched it again recently and I found it just as funny, but with a better understanding. While I could say that the murders were truly without warrant, they were in better context than what you see in most slasher flicks nowadays, where the killings are for shock value and good measure.
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Salem's Lot (2004)
3/10
A Horror Movie With No Horror -- How Can This Be?
25 July 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Having watched "Salem's Lot" that had David Soul as the main character, I wanted to see this remake for comparison. Many said that it was truer to the book than the 1970's version. That may be the case, but two very important things were missing: 1) the true character development and depiction and 2) the element of horror. When a movie tries to portray suspense and horror, viewers should be left with some feelings of uneasiness. The original "Salem's Lot" did that for me. The remake just left me with my mouth open.

I remember the original "Salem's Lot" with Danny Glick coming to Mark's window in the fog. The music, the fog, and the claustrophobic atmosphere of the scene were chilling. I was a kid when I watched the original and I begged my parents to cut the limbs on the tree outside my window so they'd stop scratching against the window when the wind blew. And you could sense in Mark the fear of what he was afraid was happening and the pain of having lost his friends. In the remake, the scene seemed almost done for good measure. I also remember Barlow entering the prison cell in a fog to get Tibbits. Just watching Tibbits face showed enough horror without any gore. Watching him crawl through the ventilation in the remake was simply comedic.

In the original, I could understand Mark going up to the "house" to try to kill the vampire. After all, Barlow had killed his parents. In this remake, Mark was a brave little vigilante to go up to the house in advance of his mother getting killed. It would have made sense for him to go to kill Barlow "after" Barlow had murdered his mother. Then, that may have been to much like correct.

To delve into the character revisions would require too much investment in time. I was surprised to see how Ben Mears had been redefined from revered and misunderstood to being the object of animosity and misunderstood. Matt Burke's redefinition from a believable elderly, white male to a young, gay black male smacked of literary license gone mad. Burke's revision helped add a level of poor taste to the scene with him walking in on Mike, who had been turned into a vampire. "You want to touch me." In the original, the character told Matt Burke, "Look at me." That's what vampires want you to do -- look at them. Homoerotic or not, the scene added no value.

Anyone who watched the original remembers "The Master." Granted, Barlow looked very Nosferatu, that was quite effective. When he came through Mark's house and was just a cape on the floor before rising up to kill the parents, that was shocking to see something so horrific. When Barlow came into the house in the remake and was clinging to ceiling, I felt let down. And Rutger Hauer is such a great actor. And changing Straker from a smarmy, secretive watch dog to a severely underutilized Straker that was practically cast as a cameo was just wrong.

While it is impossible to have a movie conform in totality to any book, style can never replace substance. The remake of this movie could have used the mild Alfred Hitchcock flare of the original to instill fear in viewers while indeed focusing on the major characters as the book did to tell a captivating story. If I were a post teenager who had never seen the original, I would have been clapping my hands and pumping my fist in the air at the wonderful display of CGI graphics and fast-editing (ala Danny Glick's little brother quickly fading in and out when Danny was in the hospital).

With the removal of some superfluous scenes -- the beginning with Mears homeless style having his episode with the priest -- and continuity -- read above comment about Mark going to the Marsten house for the kill before he had a reason to do so -- what was a tolerable movie could possibly have been an okay movie. For the 70's I can accept the flaws that came with movie production during that time as compared to today's movie-making. But to try to best a movie of that time and fall short, well, it's a shame.
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