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Reviews
The Visit (2015)
Shyamalan back in form? Hardly.
Warning Spoilers!
The concept is simple. A teenage girl with a love of filmmaking and her white-rapper younger brother go to spend a week with their beloved grandparents.
Within the span of about ten-minutes the kids and the viewer start to grasp on to the idea that grandma and grandpa aren't playing with a full deck, and whenever one grandparent is discovered to be doing something really 'weird,' the other explains it as a condition of the mind; always adding something to the effect of "oh, you're disappointed in us" or "you're not having a very good time."
Those are sentiments that could easily describe my reaction to this movie, as once again I am disappointed in M. Night taking a fairly cool concept and wrecking it with an idiotic script, and no, I did not have a good time watching this at all.
First question is why did Mr. Shayamalan make this a camcorder movie in the first place? He's just setting himself up for a movie awash in unbelievability, and I know I am not the only one who is sick to death of camcorder movies anyway. Putting that aside, he casts truly mediocre actors for the pivotal role of the grandparents and just OK actors for the kids.
Third, why is the 13-year old boy portrayed as an obnoxious, mouthy white kid who thinks he can rap? I disliked that kid from the very first time he opened his mouth to rap, which basically had me caring less what happens to him in the film ... and a lot does happen to him and his sister, as the film goes for the gusto in the final segment.
The problem is, the 'gusto' is a twist in the story that anyone could see coming, and even if I had not seen it coming, I could have cared less. The movie was over for me long before the trade-mark Shyamalan story shift.
OK, so there's the concept and some concerns. But beyond all that, this is without question Shyamalan's worst film ever, and I am even placing it above "The Happening" in pure stupidity. It is not scary and the humor which is primarily the kids, especially the boy, saying profane things when they're scared, is just not effective. But the humor is not the only element that is not effective, neither are most of the horror elements in the story, which Shyamalan liberally steals from almost every Asian horror film ever created.
Bottom line: M. Night Shyamalan takes another wonderful premise and destroys every chance of that premise becoming something special in the annals of horror films.
Cooties (2014)
Terribly unfunny gory junk
I must say I was looking forward to this one, but within 15 minutes knew that it was not working for me on any level. The satire was weak, the comedy was embarrassingly unfunny and even as a zombie movie, the premise was dated and worn-out.
SPOILERS!
Kids using adult language, especially the 'F' word in movies, is getting really old, but COOTIES takes that a step further by requiring a 9 year-old to say the 'C' word in a classroom sequence. I'm no prude, but that is just not funny, nor is it necessary. So I absolutely despise this kid and his sidekick from the get-go. In fact all the kids, before they become zombies, are about as endearing as pus.
A much smarter movie would have had the kids in a Mayberry-type mode, where they are mannerly little cherubs. So when they become flesh-munching zombies, the contrast of what was 'then' and what is 'now' would have been really effective.
But "Cooties" is not a smart movie. It is a gory mess that runs out of ideas so fast that it doesn't know what to do with itself a half-hour into it. To fill in the gaps, we have squabbles and romance among the adults and long seriously stupid sequences, like the removal of a little zombie boys brain to see what made him tick. The scene is supposed to be shocking and funny. It's neither. It is just boring.
In fact 'boring' is a great way to sum up this movie, and I was extremely bored before the first third of the film was completed. In fairness the final ten minutes does pick up the pace, and just when you think "Cooties" might be headed in the right direction, it implodes with a disastrously idiotic finale.
I agree with another poster. "Cooties" is one of the very worst films of the year; not to mention a slam to the talents of Elijah Wood and Rainn Wilson.
Dark Places (2015)
VERY underrated suspense thriller!
I'm going to do this short and sweet: This film starts out like an episode of "True Detective" or "Touching Evil", and then as it comes down to the final inning, shifts into a beautifully paced and developed revelation, that is truly unexpected and chilling.
Charlize Theron, as always, is amazing. Her performance here has the intensity of both "Monster" and "North Country, " and she gets great support from the supporting cast.
Ignore negative reviews. This is a film that you need to see and then make an opinion about. For me, this was a very satisfying and effective movie that deserved far more accolades than it has received.
After viewing "Dark Places", It is hard for me to comprehend that it is not receiving a positive buzz right now. After being somewhat disappointed with "Goodnight Mommy" and seriously disappointed with "It Follows," "Dark Places" is a thriller that actually thrills. Bottom line" you need to see it!
Ich seh, Ich seh (2014)
Very good but with some problems.
I had really been looking forward to seeing this, and finally did get to see the uncut version. It's a decent psychological horror film, and for some it will be tough to watch due to the nature of the material involving children. However, it's not nearly as provocative and disturbing as some have suggested.
SPOILERS
The story centers around two Austrian twin boys who are convinced that the bandaged woman that has returned from the hospital following an accident, is an impostor. The film suggests that the reason for their thinking is that the woman seems to be emotionally unbalanced, less patient with her son (s) just being 'boys' and a certain amount of creepiness felt by seeing glimpses of her disfigured face. It is those elements in "Goodnight Mommy" ("Ich Seh Ich Seh") that work beautifully; creating a sense of subtle, carefully developing dread and promises of dark horrors to come.
Unfortunately the suspense and brooding terror does not sustain to the level it started with, as the movie starts to unravel toward the end with several awkwardly written sequences that strain credibility and at times, make absolutely no sense. As for a big twist in the story, unfortunately its not much of a surprise. Most viewers will figure it out shortly after the film begins.
Owing a lot to the somewhat better "The Other","Goodnight Mommy" is certainly an interesting movie with competent performances and a few scenes that produce mild chills. For me however, it left much to be desired. Perhaps with additional viewings, which I plan to undertake, I will appreciate the film more.
One note: The 'R' rating is ridiculous. There is almost zero profanity, no sex, very little violence and gore, and the female nudity is brief, partial and darkly lit. Obviously the MPAA was troubled by the theme to the extent that they slapped an 'R' on what would be considered a run-of-the-mill PG-13 movie.
Area 51 (2015)
The era of the camcorder movie just keeps going on and on.
The first question needs to be, are we not getting tired of these camcorder lost footage movies? Ever since the overrated "Blair Witch Project," we have been deluged with similar-themed films; most of which fall way, way short of being anything but tiresome. So enter Oren Peli with his own take on the concept, but in his favor we have the mysterious and always-intriguing Area 51 as the backdrop. That fact alone is precisely why I decided to give this film a look.
At first it appeared that Peli might have done it right. Blending actors and sets with real people and locations associated with Area 51, the set-up is intriguing. Even the process in which these filmmakers attempt to foil some of the high-tech base security systems, seems plausible. So far so good.
But it is when the title characters break into the house of an Area 51 / S4 worker and steal his 'card', eventually actually getting inside the top-secret facility, that the movie becomes completely unbelievable and downright ridiculous. Everything that follows is what we have come to know, and depending on how you feel about these shaky-cam movies, love or hate about the concept.
It's not that "Area 51" is a bad movie: the performances and design is actually of high-caliber, but given the exciting story set-up, Peli really should have given us a whole lot more than just another camcorder film. In fairness, I think some people will enjoy this. I did not.
Welp (2014)
A brilliantly executed, vicious and unpredictable horror gem!
"Welp" is a first time feature for a much more than just 'promising' new filmmaker; a guy with arguably a knack for delivering a seriously nasty and unpredictable storyline.
Set in a wooded area in Belgium, this starts out as your typical kid in peril camp movie. The dark tone gets set right away as we are introduced to two somewhat irresponsible scout leaders who tell their young charges in advance that a 'werewolf boy' is probably lurking where they are about to go camping for a few days.
So much for the set-up. OK, we get it. There WILL be something lurking in those woods. After all, It's a horror movie with poster artwork resembling a cross between "Babadook" and "Blair Witch Project," so we KNOW for sure that something is 'out there' in those woods.
SPOILERS AHEAD!
The film takes very little time in introducing a boy named Sam to at least 'one' of the 'things' that lurk in the woods.
We realize right away that Sam is a troubled and misunderstood boy who probably wasn't a welcome addition to the troop in the first place. He is bullied by most of the boys, but it's the assistant scoutmaster who seems to loathe the child, often belittling and emotionally torturing him in front of the other scouts, whom all but one seem to relish the taunting of this youngster. This graphic child / adult bullying element alone creates a genuinely unpleasant atmosphere, and the horror hasn't even begun.
"Welp" starts to go 'for the throat' at about the half-way point, and I found myself leaning forward in my chair with my stomach in knots as things start to get really ugly; not to mention genuinely, unpredictably, viciously mean. Most viewers will not expect or be able to stomach at least two sequences that come before the final act.
It's fair to say that you'll feel like your face just got slapped by a grinning filmmaker who can't resist feeling proud of the fact that he just disintegrated our nerves as well as catapulting us out of our comfort zones.
Just when you think that the story is winding up, something completely and even more unexpected unravels in front of us. I suppose some people will find this final twist, brutal and unnecessary. I found it to be so unexpected and dark-natured, that I could do nothing 'but' smile as the credits crawled, simply because I had just experienced a cool and refreshingly dark horror movie that didn't care what emotions it shatters in the process of watching.
To sum up "Welp" aka: "Cub," some will find my review far too positive, and that's OK. I think I know a good horror movie when I see it, and "Welp" is THAT rare horror movie that delivers everything it promises. Unconventional in every sense of the word, "Welp" features excellent, convincing performances from the young and older cast, superb lighting and cinematography, an effective score that recalls the early works of Goblin and well-executed gore that doesn't seem excessive.
One thing I want to make clear: "Welp" is not scary; not one bit. But perhaps that's exactly what was intended. After all, if you're going to make a horror movie that defies conventionality, go for unexpected gut-punches and twists over a creepy atmosphere and jolts, and that's EXACTLY what "Welp" does!
"Welp" or "Cub" or whatever the title becomes in your neck of the woods ... is nothing short of a genuinely horrific masterpiece.