About 12 years ago, I lost my dearest friend Daryl. He was gay and his parents had disowned him for being gay. One Christmas, years after they disowned him, his parents invited him back for a family dinner. I had spent many Christmas evenings with him, not having a family myself so when this happened, all of us 'strays' were overjoyed for him.
After Xmas, one of the other 'strays' and I had planned a trip to Scotland for Hogmanay (New Years Eve). Daryl met is at our local pub before our flight and told us the story of his 'family Christmas'. They tried to convince him to go to a reconditioning centre to cure his SINS of being gay because HE CHOSE this lifestyle. They badgered him and belittled him, quoted bible versus to him and told him he was a sinner.
Daryl shortly after New Years called his ex boyfriend in the middle of the night, told him he would love him always, apologised for what he would wake up to and hung up the phone.
Daryl jumped off the Bloor Viaduct bridge in Toronto and died.
All of a sudden his parents looked like loving and accepting people. I remember sitting in a church, the very same religion who brainwashed people into gay-bashing and hearing about the 'accident' that took Daryl's life. I remember seeing the many colourful people who all sat close to the back of the church and the very conservative ones who sat right up front.
As in the film, when Bobby's boyfriend turned to the only accepting family member of his and said 'are you okay with this?!?', I saw many of the 'colourful' people in the church turning to each other asking the same. I remember at one point I laughed out loud. I remember envisioning Daryl sitting up in the rafters of the church laughing at the spectacle his family had made out of his death and how they were morning his death when they didn't even know him.
None of us went to his family' wake. Instead we all celebrated his life in our own ways and mourned him with love in our hearts.
I am VERY PROUD (and I *know* I'll get all thumbs down for this one), I do not subscribe to any bible or written religious hypocrisy. I am a Witch and though the bible tells you in Leviticus that 'thou shalt not suffer a Witch to live', my religious belief is of love, acceptance, tolerance and not fear of my Gods, intolerance, judgment and murder. Yes MURDER. Just about all religions have murdered others for their beliefs. Catholics, Protestants, Muslims etc. No REAL Witch would ever dream of harming anyone. REAL Witches have just one commandment 'Do what thou wilt as long as ye harm none'. I think that covers everything properly.
I became a Witch after many years of Christianity beating me down. How women suffered the pain of childbirth due to Eve's sins or how women were dirty when they menstruated, after childbirth and for longer after giving birth to a girl instead of a boy. But the one that got me and cut me to the bone was when I was shaken and told 'animals don't have souls! You are baptised and should know better!' I was only 6. So I became a tree hugging, vegetarian, person loving, accepting and caring WITCH. And proud of it. So while I know you will thumbs down me please remember I would never hurt you on purpose unlike many other religious people do every day.
Bless PFLAG with the support and education they give. I also feel blessed to live in a country that was one of the first to legalise gay marriage. Though I am the MOST heterosexual being I know, I do not believe there is anything wrong with anyone who is gay, bi, lesbian or trans.
This film needed to be made. Thank you to EVERYONE involved in creating this heartfelt, eye opening and truly heartbreaking film. It is sad that this continues to this day. Religion has been much cause of death, war and destruction and honestly, if I were 'Fod' I wouldn't care what name you called me by or what book you followed, all I would care about is that you live your life without hurting or judging others.
There are many Bobbys and Janes out there. May they all have more tolerant and understanding people in their lives helping them to grow and flourish. In memory of all those Bobby's Jane's and of course my dearest Daryl. My heart and love go with you all.
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