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ComputerDaveUK
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Amityville Uprising (2022)
Just terrible ...
Poor acting, bad scenery, unconvincing effects, joke of a story line and a Chinese lady (watch the movie to understand). No spoilers but you will know the plot and outcome after about 5 minutes.
Unless you are an avid fan of B movies then give this one a miss.
Hard Tide (2015)
Didn't we have a lovely time the day we went to Margate!
I watch almost every movie released in this category and this is the best this year so far. Set in dreary out of season Margate this is a story about a small time dealer who tries to the right thing (his words) and look after a small girl after he accidentally kills her father. This film is about his struggle to keep all his plates spinning and look after this small girl. An awful lot of films set in England have a kind of gritty Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels feel to them but this is different, conveying the grim reality of living in a broken town among broken people, scratching an existence out of a poverty torn part of the country. I enjoyed this film right from the start and the director carried me through the film to its inevitable and extremely well thought out conclusion. If you enjoy this genre then this IS the film for you, don't miss it!
End of line.
Criminal Activities (2015)
A must see.
This film is like a cross between Usual Suspects, Reservoir Dogs and Lock Stock and Three Smoking Barrels. The plot is exceptionally good and has more twists than a British Politician's expenses account.
The four main protagonists play their parts well and carry the story line well. The film was Jackie Earle Haley's directing debut and a pretty fine job he made of it too. He also acts in the movie so double bubble pay day!
A few years ago we, in the UK, had a music show call 'The Old Grey Whistle Test' {stay with me) which was a music show about bands that no-one except the shows fans had heard of but the title was a corruption of 'the old greys whistle test' which was a test used by the shows staff to see if the songs played on the show were any good. The 'Old Greys' were the cleaning staff and it they were heard to whistle any of the tunes from the show then the song would be deemed to have passed the test and would be successful. I have my own 'Old Greys Whistle Test' (though I dare not call it that), my wife of 25 years always sits by me when I watch movies and if she stays more than 10 minutes then the movie passes the test.
My wife was captured by the film from the outset and watched all the way through and was pleasantly surprised by the twisty ending (I guessed after 15 minutes). My wife is the exact opposite to me being made of flesh and blood, she has feelings and can be described as human in every way. This film appealed to us both equally so it passed the test.
Stop reading this review and go and see it now - you wont regret it.
End of line.
Midnight Screenings: Hitman: Agent 47 (2015)
If you like action films this is for you ...
I have seen Zachary Quinto in a couple of films now and think he is a great actor and its not too difficult to not see Spock (except the eyebrows...). He is excellent in this movie and along with Rupert Friend also a great actor (plays tough guy well) make a great pair of opponents. Now add Hannah Ware into the mix and now you gotta movie.
The plot is extremely well written and directed and the action is staged very well making the unbelievable believable (well almost).
The cast was completed by Angelababy playing Diana, we will see more from her mark my words.
Go and watch it now ... go on!
End of line.
90 Minutes in Heaven (2015)
Should be subtitled 90 minutes I'll never get back.
A few months ago I watched a foreign movie from the middle east that was in English (well, American so it was close) and after about ten minutes the movie turned into a rant about Barack Obama (who I think is the Canadian president or summat {only joking}), the American Way, freedom, the West, the East and F.W. Woolworths {still joking}. It seemed to be an ISIS enrolment film or some such. Well, this movie was the same except for the Christians (or some other religious cult).
As soon as the words 'We all believe in Christ, right' hit the floor I kinda lost interest but as the main actor (Haydn Christenson) should have light sabre up his cardigan (Haydn plays a Colin) I stuck with it and wished I hadn't.
The story is unbelievable beyond belief and seriously if you want to see THE worst piece of acting in the history of bad acting watch when the priest find out Haydn was alive, it is truly magnificent ...
Unfortunately the score select does not go below 1 or this would have got a -5.
End of line.
Bad Building (2015)
Don't waste your time ...
Over acting, under acting, stock characters and a story line written by a ZX81. I have heard of some of the cast but no-non stands out.
You have seen it all done before a lot better but not much worse. Just pick out any abandoned building movie (like Mirrors) and it will be better than this.
I always like to say which bits were bad and which bits were OK but I seriously cant think of anything I like. Around about the hour mark I started to lose any interest in this film but stayed doggedly on until the inevitable conclusion. Around Christmas seems to be the 'Release the Golden Raspberries' time and this is one of them.
Sorry about the very short review but it is far harder reviewing a bad film than a good one.
End of line.
#Horror (2015)
Am I the only one who didn't like this?
Having read the five reviews before watching this my expectation was high and as I love this genre (thought Unfriended was awesome) I was tingling...
The subject matter was odd with young girls running wild around a house full of the freakiest art I have ever seen. Many attempts were made by the director and author to connect to or feel something toward the characters but I am afraid I couldn't, it felt like a paedo entrapment film and the characters were 12 year old bitches.
This was a big disappointment and I really tried to enjoy it. I guessed what was going on really quickly and the film did not surprise me.
I have voted this a four as the filming was OK (given the location it shouldn't have been hard) but everything else was just dire..
End of line.
Child 44 (2015)
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I have always believed that you should get something from a film...
All this gave me was depression with the scenery, the acting, the turgid plot. Even the great whodunnit was so dire I struggled to stay to the end.
I am a fan of Noomi Rapace and only watched this movie cause she was in it, but bad judgement from her I think.
Everything is predictable, moves as fast as a Moscovite train and the tension is racked up by ...... cellos and violins.
Sorry but this is the typical run-of-the-camp, 'wasnt the war a terrible thing' type of movie that seem to pop up every month.
Ugh! Not for me.
Avoid like the plague.
End of line.
Dark Summer (2015)
Eighty minutes of my life I wont get back.
The main character is unlikeable (is that a word?) and manages to elicit NO sympathy from the viewer.
The film itself is a standard teen emo horror with average effects and a suburban location and delivers just what you expect when you expect it.
You will already have seen this film with different characters a few times before.
The best part of the movie was the simmering sexual tension between the Geek and the Girl.
End of line.