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Possession (1981)
The negative reviews for this movie are a proof people can't recognise genius even if it's staring them right in the face
I'm utterly appalled there are people in this world who think it is ok to rate this masterpiece lower than a 5.
Anyone who did should be isolated from the Internet forever. They don't deserve to express their opinion on anything because they clearly lack any cognitive function whatsoever.
Furthermore they should be sterilised, because it's obvious that they are absolutely incapable of bringing up children.
Obviously their right to vote in any kind of elections should also be permanently revoked, because people with no sense whatsoever common or otherwise should be able to have any influence on the sane people's lives.
Toto le héros (1991)
I wanted to like this movie
But I just can't
It's very reminiscent of mr. Nobody (which was the reason for watching it) in terms of non-linear story-telling, but that's just it, the wrapper.
Inside it is a story of a very spiteful old man impossible to sympathise with.
The director goes with 'don't envy others, enjoy your own life' narrative, which is incredibly cliché. Other than that there's absolutely nothing.
This movie is an utter disappointment.
Toto the Hero (French: Toto le héros) is a 1991 Belgian film (co-produced with France and Germany) by Belgian film director and screenwriter Jaco Van Dormael. It won the Caméra d'Or award at the Cannes Film Festival in 1991, and the César Award for Best Foreign Film in 1992.
Playtime (1967)
For art lovers only.
You need to understand one thing. Playtime isn't a movie. It is a painting. A moving painting. Therefore you should see it as such and not as a movie.
Some people say it's not funny despite being classified as a comedy. And they would be correct if it was a movie. It's not. But among comedy paintings it might be the funniest one.
I wasn't amused during watching it. And you most likely won't be as well. Because paintings aren't amusing/funny/entertaining. Paintings serve a different purpose. Art serves a different purpose.
So if your favourite movie is from Marvel or any other mainstream studio, stay away from Playtime. It isn't for you. You won't enjoy it.
If you enjoy art museums give it a shot. You might like it.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)
There's nothing wrong with this movie
That being said, there's also nothing great with it.
Mario franchise was never meant for anyone over the age of 12 so there never was any depth whatsoever. And this movie encapsulates it perfectly. You get what you wish for. It is a perfect Mario movie.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie is a 2023 American computer-animated adventure film based on Nintendo's Mario video game franchise. Produced by Universal Pictures, Illumination, and Nintendo, and distributed by Universal, the film was directed by Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic and written by Matthew Fogel. The ensemble voice cast includes Mario.
Bronenosets Potyomkin (1925)
This movie is straight garbage.
And not because it's propaganda. Because it aged like milk.
The story is too drawn out. The pacing is painfully slow. 1 hour felt like 4. Jump-cuts remind of early youtube. There is a lot of vomit-inducing imagery. The actors are so bad they must have been hired off the street.
The only value it has is film history one. Stay away from this movie!
The Russian battleship Potemkin (romanized: Kniaz Potyomkin Tavricheskiy, "Prince Potemkin of Taurida") was a pre-dreadnought battleship built for the Imperial Russian Navy's Black Sea Fleet. She became famous when the crew rebelled against the officers in June 1905 (during that year's revolution), which is now viewed as a first step towards the Russian Revolution of 1917. The mutiny later formed the basis of Sergei Eisenstein's 1925 silent film Battleship Potemkin.
After the mutineers sought asylum in Constanta, Romania, and after the Russians recovered the ship, her name was changed to Panteleimon. She accidentally sank a Russian submarine in 1909 and was badly damaged when she ran aground in 1911. During World War I, Panteleimon participated in the Battle of Cape Sarych in late 1914. She covered several bombardments of the Bosphorus fortifications in early 1915, including one where the ship was attacked by the Ottoman battlecruiser Yavuz Sultan Selim - Panteleimon and the other Russian pre-dreadnoughts present drove her off before she could inflict any serious damage. The ship was relegated to secondary roles after Russia's first dreadnought battleship entered service in late 1915. She was by then obsolete and was reduced to reserve in 1918 in Sevastopol.
Panteleimon was captured when the Germans took Sevastopol in May 1918 and was handed over to the Allies after the Armistice in November 1918. Her engines were destroyed by the British in 1919 when they withdrew from Sevastopol to prevent the advancing Bolsheviks from using them against the White Russians. The ship was abandoned when the Whites evacuated the Crimea in 1920 and was finally scrapped by the Soviets in 1923.
The Bipolar Express (2015)
Not a movie!!!
I don't know who listed this here, but it wasted 2 hours of my life.
I scoured the internet far and wide just to find a place where I can WATCH this MOVIE. And it turned out that it's NOT A MOVIE, it's a radio program.
Sadie just interviews a bunch of people with bipolar disorder. That's all.
Bipolar disorder, previously known as manic depression, is a mental disorder characterized by periods of depression and periods of abnormally elevated mood that each last from days to weeks. If the elevated mood is severe or associated with psychosis, it is called mania; if it is less severe, it is called hypomania.
Sennen joyû (2001)
The worst movie of Satoshi Kon
Which is surprising because literally all of his other works are masterpieces. Do not, I repeat DO NOT watch this anime UNTIL you watched ALL of his other works.
Satoshi Kon is a legend and a genius, but this... this is extremely bland.
Directed by Satoshi Kon
Screenplay by
Sadayuki Murai
Satoshi Kon
Story by Satoshi Kon
Produced by Taro Maki
Starring
Miyoko Shoji
Mami Koyama
Fumiko Orikasa
Shozo Iizuka
Shoko Tsuda
Hirotaka Suzuoki
Hisako Kyoda
Koichi Yamadera
Masane Tsukayama
Cinematography Hisao Shirai
Edited by Satoshi Terauchi
Music by Susumu Hirasawa
Production
company
Madhouse Madhouse.
Halloween II (2009)
The second best movie in the whole franchise!
Which is surprising considering how bad Halloween 2007 was.
That being said this isn't exactly a Halloween movie. It's a kind of "what if..." movie.
What if Laurie was a sl*t that is going through a mental breakdown
What is dr. Loomis was a self-serving *sshole
What if Michael had Jason's soul and talked to his mother's ghost
I'm reviewing this film as a stand-alone movie, not as a part of the franchise which it clearly isn't.
Things I liked about this movie:
1. That they made him tall. That weirded me out in the first movie, but here it just works better. That scene with a little kid talking to him is precious. Speaking of which, scenes where Michael isn't just killing everyone he sees are very refreshing.
2. That they showed his face, that they tore off a part of his mask. Tyler Mane gives a great performance with just his gaze.
3. The first 20 minutes (similar to the 2007 movie). If Rob made short films perhaps he'd be a legendary director by now.
Things I didn't like about this movie:
1. Theatrical version. I don't buy the ending at all. The character does a complete 180 in their personality without any foreshadowing whatsoever. They also cut out Laurie's scenes that are crucial for this movie, without them the movie just falls apart.
2. Weird Rob's wall crushing fetish. Thankfully there's less of it than in the first movie.
3. The whole dr. Loomis' arc. He's not as terrible and unnecessary as in the first movie, but he still feels like a filler from start to finish.
4. Laurie's personality. It really contributes to Friday the 13th's vibes, which are very victim-blaming
Overall if Rob really committed to making his own movie instead of keeping all the characters and/or cut the running time in half or so it could even overshadow H20. But as it is, it's only second best.
Halloween (2007)
About 1 hour too long
I can honestly say that the movie was quite a let-down. The beginning of the movie had me hooked, but after 20 minutes it began to go downhill and never stopped. The parts with young dr. Loomis was too lengthy and contributed basically nothing, the part where they keep destroying walls for 20 minutes was too long AND ridiculous. Overall the remake is a success since it boiled down to exactly the same result of 4 out of 10.
The movie follows the story of a young, brilliant doctor named Dr. Loomis and her journey to discover a way to revive a boy who has been in a coma for 3 years. Dr. Loomis discovers.
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)
The best slasher film, I have ever seen!
It's a rare occasion when sequels outshine the originals, but this is absolutely the case. This movie is a proper film, not a cheap thriller.
It's a one Actor movie, but she does it immaculately!
All the other actors are tolerable. Except the love interest, he's poor.
The plot is interesting and unique. For this genre at least.
I also liked Friday the 13th reference.
Have the reviews always been so long? Due 600 charecters is really a lot, stop this. No-one reads them anyway so chill out dude.
I have nothing in this life, just give me this. Please!
LET ME SUBMIT MY REVIEW YOU HEARTLESS MACHINE!!!!
Majo no takkyûbin (1989)
The worst miyazaki's work
Literally had to force myself to watch it till the end. The most boring slice of life I ever seen. Nothing remotely interesting is happening. Hugely overrated.
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021)
Meaningless fluff and glitter
Sprinkled with CCP propaganda. This movie is so drawn out and empty it reminds me of desolate plains of Skyrim. There is no decent plot. The acting is terrible. All the characters have the same personality. The only good things are CGI's creatures and marvellous performance of Ben Kingsley which sadly totals to 5 minutes.
The Batman (2022)
Absolutely bland and unispired
This movie is really trying to be something when in fact it's just a piece of leftist propaganda. Which is utterly despicable given the current situation. The action scenes are fine though. If you want mindless fighting you'll like this movie.
Friday the 13th (2009)
The second worst in the franchase
The worst one is obviously Goes to hell.
It gives me Breaking bad vibes - all the characters are morons
One of them is so annoying it deserves 2 stars removed.
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
Milking the dead cow
This film is redundant.
It has nothing to say.
It looks like Matrix, but isn't Matrix.
I like Keanu, but what this film make me realise. It wasn't because of Keanu Matrix was great. Not in the slightest. And I hate it.
That being said, the first part of the movie was entertaining. It looked like something great was going to happen. It didn't.
Only disappointment happened.
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)
Bit more than it could chew
I really wanted to like this movie. Toby Maguire is such a sweetheart in this one. But... Stephen Strange was COMPLETELY out of character. Watching Zendaya after Euphoria playing basic damsel in distress cliche was also painful.
The whole point of this movie is a nostalgia trip mixed with awkward fan service. They did have a plot though, it wasn't terrible.. But it wasn't good either.
6/10 as a marvel movie. 5/10 as a stand alone movie.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
Despite all the good things
It's only a 5. If this movie was 30 minutes shorter it would've been an 8. Way too drawn-out to be of watch. Even Nancy can't save this overbloated mess.
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
Mother of all clickbates
This film has barely anything to do with Manhattan It should've been called Jason's voyage or something. I'm taking the star off just for that.
Otherwise it's almost as good as the 4th film which is the best one in this whole franchise so far (I still haven't watched the newest 3)
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)
Finally a plot!
I'd never watched any Friday the 13th movies so I started from the first one. And the word 'disappointment' is too kind to describe all of them. But then after 4 "movies" I finally a got one that at least has a plot. It's not a good one, but it exists!
Hellraiser: Judgment (2018)
The sweet irony
The only two movies in this franchise deserving a watch are divisible by five. This is significantly better than the original and other sequels, i would recommend to watch it even as a detective story.
Hellraiser: Revelations (2011)
The only reason I'm giving this 2 stars
Is because this so-called movie is short. Otherwise it would be 1 star. This is the second worst movie in this franchise. I can't say anything good about it.
The Box (2009)
Extremely weak.
I watched this movie only because of the writer for Donny Darko. And compared to it, this movie is absolute mediocrity. It's not a bad movies on its own. But it doesn't live up to expectations.
Annette (2021)
A Chucky comedy
This movie is a mix of horror and comedy. Sometimes the doll is hilarious, sometimes it's truly horrifying. You never know which one you'll get next, so you are always in suspense. I didn't really like the original Chucky movies. But this one. Is quite nice and funny. Between the doll scenes there is always singing and/or talking.
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)
Aged like milk
Maybe it was revolutionary 40 years ago, but that's the problem with special effects. When they are the only valuable thing in your film, it will be outdated eventually.
Cube Zero (2004)
A very bad dark comedy
The first film was a great thriller
The second was a decent sci-fi movie
This one.. The only redeeming quality is the performance of Michael Riley.
Nothing else about this film is good.