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Gen V: Jumanji (2023)
Unfortunately, the worst episode so far. It's the 90's equivalent of a clip show.
If you watched TV in the 80's and 90's (and even the aughts) you know what a clip show is. They take memorable parts from previous episodes and combine them to make up a full episode. Perhaps it was due to a strike, a week of unoriginal ideas or maybe just the anniversary of the show and the writers felt like they needed a break. With the advent of the internet and user reviews, producers quickly realized that watchers hate clip show episodes. So they retooled them into a new kind of lazy episode. The "dream sequence" or the "inside the mind of..." episodes.
But don't be fooled. They may contain an original idea and advance the plot more than a clip show but at the end of the day it's just exposition parading as a metaphor.
I enjoy the Boys and Gen V. I will continue to watch both. However, this episode was, sadly, was a Prime example of when good writers are lacking in original ideas.
Resident Alien: Harry, a Parent (2022)
Terrible episode
Remember Asta's whole backstory about the mother who abandoned her? Neither do I. But for some reason this whole episode revolves around it. The rest of the episode mainly involved D'arcy's training for the skiing competition.
If you ever watched the X-Files it was essentially one of Chris Carter's mythology episodes. It contained 10% stuff you know and like, 90% new stuff that came out of nowhere and 0% of stuff that makes you want to keep watching the show.
The great cast has kept me watching the show until now but it seems as if the writing has finally let them down.
The two cops are still the stars of the show. Alan Tudyk is great, as usual, but the writing has failed this show without even giving us 2 great seasons. As a fan, I'm definitely disappointed.
The Good Place (2016)
Get rid of Jason (Fez?) and you have an excellent comedy.
As always, Kristen Bell is adorable and Ted Danson is his usual likable self. The writers have kept the story and characters fresh enough to make you want to continue watching. However...Jason(Jianyu)? Much like "That 70's Show" felt the need to include the painfully idiotic Fez in the cast, the good place had to include Jason. I know there were people that enjoyed Fez but I wish some shows didn't feel the need to cater to everybody. Whatever laughs were had die in the air as soon as Jason speaks. His character isn't so stupid it's funny, it's so stupid it creates dead air as you groan and silently slap your forehead. Can't he just be naive or even likeably ignorant? Why must he be painfully stupid. Thanks to Fez, I stopped watching "That 70s Show" mid-second season. I really enjoy the two main leads and Janet might be a personal favorite. However, if Jason gets more camera time, I might have to cut back on my viewing time.
American Horror Story: Chapter 6 (2016)
Easily the best episode in years
Halfway through season 5 I wrote a review on here. I mentioned my disappointment with the pace of the story. I lamented the complete lack of levity. I also mentioned that I would not continue watching if the season did not improve. It certainly did not improve. Luckily, I am a liar and continued watching. Season 6 didn't have an amazing start but it was a unique enough premise to keep me watching. Alas, after slogging through the morass of the last two seasons we have been given an episode that is equal parts comical and creepy. The writing, the directing, Kathy Bates...i need more episodes like this. I have watched the episode after this (6.7). Although it wasn't a bad episode, the season definitely peaked with this episode. This is the first season since Coven that I am more than halfway through the season and actually want to see more.
Cake Wars (2015)
Ruined by the host?
To be honest, with a good host the basic format of this show would limit it to being a 6 rating, 7 at best. Ron Ben Israel is extremely affable. As a judge, I enjoy watching him. Waylynn Lucas is...telegenic. Jonathan Bennett is simply annoying. The judges never play off of his energy. Because of this, his bad puns drop like a rock and his excessive energy makes him look obnoxious. He constantly ends up looking like that guy at the party that thinks he's hilarious but is also well intentioned enough that nobody wants to tell him he isn't. If the judges were more extroverted and quirky, he might work. This isn't their fault though. As the host it's his job to play off them. A few years ago I might've said "it's a reality baking show, what can you expect?" But having watched 'The Great British Baking Show'I know they can actually be quite engaging. The judging criteria could be improved, the contestants could be vetted better, Waylynn Lucas could be more endearing and the format could be more original. However, the awkward energy of the host and his poorly timed puns are what ultimately sink this show.
Doctor Who: The Leisure Hive: Part One (1980)
Wow. All sorts of terrible here.
To be fair, I began the original Doctor Who after watching the first 9 seasons of NuWho. It wouldn't be fair to compare the cgi, even if some is comparable to the melting trash bin. The effects in general are bad enough to plunge the average episode into mediocrity. There's a big difference between laughing at Tom Baker's wit and laughing at an arm covered in green bubble wrap. However, when the writing plays a larger role than effects, I can become decently immersed in an episode. For example, I thought the Ribos Operation was excellent. The writing was clever, the characters were interesting AND well acted and it minimized the special effects. The Land of Fiction was interesting enough to hold my interest even without the excellent Tom Baker. Actually, with 2015 graphics and Baker, Tennant or Smith it probably would be an amazing episode. Then there's this episode. With a cheesy new title sequence and an even worse theme song, it wasn't off to a great start. But like I said, those are things I can look past. The story slogged from scene to scene. Something something tachyon, something something enemy. War, reduplicator tachyon tachyon. Yet despite having my favorite original Doctor and the preferred Romana, the characters were even flatter than the storyline. Baker's lines were rarely as clever as he deserved and Romana's lines were more fitting for her predecessor, not the spunky Romana II. Then there were the Formasi. Truly a sight to behold. I know to expect little from Original Who's effects department but this conjured up memories of Drashigs, Gel Guards, Bubble Wrap and octopi. To be fair, up until the last few years effects had a tendency to detract more than add to a story. Not everyone can be the guy that did the Predator makeup, I get that. But judging from the books in my library (some of which I've even read), I'm pretty sure that writers were just as capable then as they are now. They even lazily threw in something at the very end of the last episode about how they should really be doing their job looking for the black guardian. At least I think that's who they said, I'm not sure. They mentioned him once after two hours of running between tachyon stabilizers and reduplicators. In the end, The Doctor and Romana were worthy of much better dialogue and we, the avid viewers, deserved a better show.
American Horror Story: Checking In (2015)
A beautiful disappointment
The first season was good enough to keep me watching. It then becomes a question of whether season 2 or 3 was better. The hospital was slightly darker and more experimental, in terms of writing and story (eg. name game sequence). Coven was less experimental but was livelier, not just in terms of its characters, it was lighter, literally. My friends and I have debated which is the better season but it's consistently a debate between seasons two and three. Season four surpassed all previous seasons in terms of effects. The intro sequence alone was mesmerizing. Unfortunately, as the spacial effects improved, the writing and characterization declined significantly. The dark humor became simply dark and the characters were so bleak I was left with nobody to root for. By the time the finale rolled around I was left with no interest in what happened to anybody. Thanks almost solely to the effects department I continued into season 5. Six episodes in it apparent that style didn't simply take over for substance, it slit substances throat and tossed it down the laundry chute. Judging the tone, suppose 10 is overwhelming elation and 0 is utter despair. Season five started around a 3 and has been going downhill ever since. There's nothing to hope for and nobody to care about. The acting is probably as good as the writing allows and the effects are unbeatable but the emotional investment is about the equivalent of a music video. Much like season 4,there are no high points, there is no fun, and without somebody to root for, there is no hope. Although it would work great as a backdrop for a Trent Reznor concert, as a show it is thoroughly disappointing. Barring an astonishing one-eighty from the writing staff, season 5 will be my last season of American Horror Story.
The Signal (2014)
Starts interestingly, ends up as blatant ripoff
I'll spoil the movie by telling you what movie it blatantly rips off, although it actually spoiled itself in doing so. If the movie hadn't ruined itself I'd spend more time discussing the first two acts. Unfortunately I can, and will, summarize the movie succinctly:
Three implausibly attractive computer nerds follow a hacker's signal to desert. Was that an alien in the tree? They wake up separated and isolated in an unknown building. They start "changing" but human captors won't let them leave. They escape, but world seems inescapably repetitive. "Human" captor turns to side, shows us he's actually a cheap ripoff of the cranium-lacking droid from A.I. Camera pans out to reveal movie is actually a huge ripoff of Dark City.
As an audience member, I have no issue with a pastiche. If you can borrow from another artist and show me something better, then by all means, please do. Unfortunately, ending the movie by essentially recreating the last five minutes of Dark City (with a dash of AI), made me immediately forget the things it had done well.
As a huge sci-fi fan, I was actually intrigued before I became overwhelmingly disappointed. If you haven't seen Dark City, this movie might work for you. However, I'd recommend watching that instead. It's darker (literally) and it's pacing is slower but everything else is far superior . In Dark City the ending felt like the inevitable conclusion of the film's mystery and momentum. In the Signal it felt more like an afterthought than a necessity.
To be fair, I wouldn't be so disappointed if I hadn't enjoyed several aspects of the film. Five minutes of creativity at the end could've made this a movie worth recommending.
Trapped in Paradise (1994)
It isn't bad, it just isn't funny.
I remember reading a review once, I believe by Roger Ebert, where he said he knew the picture he was watching was in trouble when the supporting actors thoroughly outshined any of the leads. Such is the case here. The few laughs (more like chuckles actually) I did emit were from lines delivered by Richard Jenkins, a fed chasing the three lead characters, and Florence Stanley, the trio's mother. To be fair, a bad script can make laughs tough to finagle, but it doesn't preclude them entirely. This is where the director is supposed to come in and help create some comedic chemistry. He obviously did not do this. I mean, come on, we have a movie starring H.I. Mcdunnough, Garth Algar, and the critic. Yet only their mother, an actress previously unknown to me, elicited any laughs. Particularly annoying was the voice Carvery chose to do. It wasn't AS obnoxious as Cage in Peggy Sue, but it was close. Honestly, doing his George Bush impression the entire movie would've been funnier and made just about as much sense.
Soft, generalized spoilers - over the course of the night, all three have a life altering epiphany. If that sounds contrived, wait til you see the love story. Comedies don't need to be well written if they make us laugh. Laughing automatically suspends our disbelief. Unfortunately, I had plenty of time to ponder the writing and direction while I was busy not laughing.