Change Your Image
jason-97438
Reviews
On the Line (2022)
Not Too Bad
My rating system is 4 and lower, don't bother. 5, maybe so, after you read my review. 6, if you have nothing else going on, give it a watch. 7, it's pretty good. 8, it's very good. 9, it's great. 10, absolutely transcendent.
This flick started out with lazy direction and writing, trying to establish the Act 1 character, so it was a throwaway 10-15 minutes. Not a single line of dialog was convincingly delivered by anybody in it almost throughout the whole thing. It had the feel of a rehearsal where the director was still trying to get their deliveries down, and so some of it was a little hammy and amateurish.
But then, the twist changed its focus, and in fact brought to the viewer's table a kind of, "wait, was all that hammy college level play acting on purpose?" If so, then getting to that nuanced a level of acting by an ensemble is more than impressive.
So, with that in mind, it went from a solid 5 to a solid 6.5, as even after the twist there was just too much hamming it up.
I have a very sharp eye. In fact, I don't know anybody with a sharper eye for those kinds of details. Those who don't have a sharp eye, usually the younger set, should enjoy this one.
Fear the Night (2023)
Either a brilliant dark comedy or just plain awful
Now I see why so many reviewers give a synopsis, and it's not just to sound like they're "real" reviewers, but to take up space, which of course so many unnecessarily do.
In any case, I have to start with whom of the three sisters was, or were, adopted, since two are clearly Asian, and one is clearly not.
Now that that's out of the way, let's talk about this...whatever this is. Wait, wasn't Maggie Q at least a B lister? Does someone have some dirt on her or something? Something to compel her to participate in what was one of the most laughably bad outings I've ever seen (hint: I am known in certain circles to watch laughably bad movies just to remind myself what NOT to do as a writer). Alas, there are just no words to do it justice.
But there is a bright side, and you'll like this. It's one of those movies that is so dreadfully bad, badly written, badly acted, and badly directed, that it has laugh out loud moments in it. In fact, maybe LaBute is a genius, and we're all the marks, and it was meant to be a gory dark comedy.
Yeah, let's go with that.
R BnB (2023)
Don't be fooled by the high ratings
This is C level, maybe even D level, movie making. I could have given it 4 for the honest effort. You can't rightly blame the makers of it to give it the old college try, but you just can't pull it off with bad acting, bad writing, bad direction, bad structure, bad chemistry.
If you read through the reviews with the high ratings, you can discern their falsity. It's not that difficult, and I knew going in there was a very good chance that's what they were, false and simply trying to boost its rating. You can surmise that from the trailer alone, actually.
Consider my words a public service announcement for the savings of a few dollars. For superb horror, watch "The Changeling" instead, from 1980, with George C. Scott. That's how it's done.
Saltburn (2023)
Who is Prey, Whom is Predator?
In typical British fashion, it's superbly written and shot. While you might think much of it is over the top, it's also nuanced in that "English Way," where you're only eccentric if you're not eccentric, especially in the upper crust, which is where this film is baked.
The performances are also nuanced, and brilliant, and effortlessly so. It's not even worth talking about, they're so good.
Perhaps the strongest currents in this film's ambitious set of objectives, is in its quite blurred lines in who is predator, and whom is plaything. In how it depicts the inner, and often darker, truth of people who've lost touch with the grimier, but truer, reality you'll find in the lower rent pubs. And how being emotionless, due to the necessity of social "appearance" overriding the shredded heart, is one's only out in the darkest of moments. Avoidance as self-preservation.
The prey is likeliest to find its own humanity within, while the predator is not.
Alas, it wants you to take a good long long at yourself, as well. Do that, and you'll find satisfaction if you're honest, and disquiet if you're not.
Ballerina (2023)
Pure Silly Kitsch
This movie, like so many from South Korea, uses style over substance to trick the viewer into thinking it's better than it is. But it really is just silly, implausible kitsch, decently acted by the lead, but by no other character in it. Whenever a 100 pound woman throws 200 pound men around, and a lot of them all at once, you know you've branched into the realm of "I guess if I try real hard I can overlook that physics impossibility."
The Korean film industry tries so hard to make it emotional for the viewer, and this one does too, but there's not enough plot and character investment to make it anything but emotional for the characters. I assume the lead's background also wound up on the cutting room floor.
Three stars is fairest for this one, but it gets another for a game effort, the use of the soundtrack, atmosphere and style, although the style is so copycat it's already outworn its welcome. And it gets one more for continuing the disclosure of the world's worst problem.
If you're bored and feel like 1.5 hours of color and style and not much more, go for it.
God Is a Bullet (2023)
4 Stars is Generous
I believe Nick Cassavetes must have had some bad sushi for a couple years on the making of this one, and poured his awful mood into it. If I didn't know he directed it, I'd have thought it had been done by a 20 year-old with serious angst. You'd have to have a pretty low IQ, poor taste, or be under about 22 to like this one.
It was disjointed, unconvincing, poor direction, poor editing, and it felt like a 3 hour movie in the 120 minute run time. Coster-Waldau was especially poorly directed, so much so you'd think he was the wrong casting choice, and he probably was. Very one-dimensional. The only redeeming element to this mess was Maika Monroe, who is truly establishing herself in the art.
We watched it till the end just to see if it might redeem itself some way or another, but no. The entire film was about his daughter, and Nick forgot all about her. It was ludicrous, wooden, gratuitously violent, and not in a "Sin City" kind of way, as deep as a piece of paper, and left us feeling like we needed a shower.
Skip this one.
Infinity Pool (2023)
Needs...so much help
You know how arthouse-to-horror crossovers often try so hard to be philosophically important, and they just wind up failing so laughably in every possible way? This is one of those.
Not even the psychedelic imagery pulled it off, and it was just used as an excuse to avoid framing good shots. It was like a montage made by a high-schooler, and the annoying, badly written scenes stretched on to the point of fast-forwarding.
The only reason we finished it was to see if it might deliver some redemptive morsel, but it couldn't even do that. Branden Cronenberg needs a LOT of help in his filmmaking approach, and he needs to grow up some, because this was a truly childish effort.
The only confusion I'm left with is why an actor of Skarsgard's talent and pedigree agreed to this script. Perhaps desperation?
Folks, this one's a waste of life. Don't bother.
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
Great Fun, Funny, Excellent
I'll never be one of those types of reviewers that tries to sound like a reviewer, like they've taken a class on how to write a review. They're usually just amusing, and often wrong, mainly because they just don't know how to actually SEE what's right in front of them.
This movie is superb. I might have been able to find a flaw or two if I hadn't been laughing so much. This one has forgotten more of how to do this than the majority of studios in the now defunct Hollywood ever learned to begin with.
It's sly in its delivery of some of the comedic content, like there will be a lot of "reviewers" that won't even recognize what it is. But it's also got a massive heart, and its undercurrents, the nuances, tell more of a story for those with the eyes to see it, and the ears to hear it.
Catch it on the big screen. Get a big popcorn, forego the soda toxins and get a water, sit back and prepare to have a lot of fun.
Hostiles (2017)
A Beautifully Made Film
A rating of 10 isn't possible, while 9 is in rarefied air. I give this film 8.5 only because it had events that, in the real world, wouldn't have happened that way. Otherwise, it's a 9.
The low reviews come from those whose politics have become their identity, and this identity has inevitably interfered with their judgment. What I mean is that they were unable to see the art for the sake of the art. So don't listen to them.
This is an extraordinarily deft treatment of historical societal ills, and how to heal them, and does so with nuance and tremendous emotional power. Watch it. You'll see.
Colette (2018)
Beautifully Written, Superbly Filmed, Excellently Executed
This is the first time I've ever written a review. My rating is actually 9 out of 10. Few films are in that rarefied air. I felt compelled to because I can't believe that intelligent reviewers would give it a 2. I don't understand what they don't see, or don't get. Don't believe them. There's something wrong with them, and not this film. It's absolutely superb if: 1) you love GREAT writing, 2) excellent direction, cinematography, and execution, 3) if you don't require suspense to carry you from one superb scene to the next (what some of these reviewers call a bore-fest is just them not understanding their attention span is actually what needs work).
Watch it. It's beautiful.