Reviews

*contains spoilers* I'd rank it lower but somehow, I found myself trudging through this nightmare of a Rocky movie through sheer force of will. This movie, is terrible. It is not written really well at all - the introduction of a character as "Apollo Creed's son" who is driven towards boxing but initially gets smacked around (because he's knocked out by one of the champions in the Delphi Gymnasium, the same gymnasium where Apollo had trained) and so he's gone to Rocky Balboa to get training. In itself, the story is supposed to be bearable (We had it already in Rocky V, the 1990 Rocky movie with the upstart who is beaten by Rocky in the climax), but dear, merciful, Lord... this movie runs like War-Room.

Rocky, was never War-Room. This movie, treats its audience like they've never seen Rocky at all, and are completely dumb as Trump voting Yanks. This movie, is the reality TV equivalent of a slap in the face of Rocky fans. Especially when there's ACTUAL HBO SPORTS ADS IN THE GOD DAMN MOVIE.

EVEN the fight, is mediocre at best. The training montage is disappointing, horrendously so. And the worst part, they're trying to make a character for "Creed", as a lame excuse to continue the "Rocky" tradition and story, but are in essence insulting Apollo Creed.

(sigh) bottom line, if you consider yourself a really true die hard Rocky fan, then watch it. But if you're sane, Watch "Angel" by Tahir Shah instead. That song is better... way better than this... yeah. Pathetic Creed, full of acting trappings which makes him a shallow construct, and the worst part is that everyone dumbs down for this pathetic Creed character. A shitty protagonist, and a very dumb and disappointing story.

You have been warned.

This is the worst movie Will Farrell starred in, period. The guy stooped really low on this one. And for me, coming from a person who really liked his movies, such as Anchorman (2004), Lego Movie (2014) and even The Other Guys (2010), this one was the absolute worst I've seen from him. The movie had zero humor, the protagonist isn't even likable, and the credence of the story has no involvement whatsoever. The degree to which this movie doesn't even attempt - ATTEMPT - to hold any meaning or credence for the movie (and also resulting in an exceedingly embarrassing moment which I will NOT even attempt to put into words) makes this... it is not a good movie. And is by far, the worst movie ever made by Farrell.

Unless you are brain dead, or just have a Will Farrell marathon running, you shouldn't bother watching this movie. It is a waste.

This review has spoilers, I'm writing this a second time just so that people will know this fact.

This movie, has as much value as taking a number 2 in a public toilet in an underdeveloped country. Actually, no, that has more value. Because what we have here, is very choppy and disorientating animation (which actually makes Gumby 1 - the 1995 clay animated movie of the titular Gumby - and Cool World - the 1992 Ralph Bakhshee movie look far better in comparison), and a story so clichéd it makes you vomit out of how much dedication the production team put in - which is to say, none.

So what do we have as a story? Prophesy child which will save the world of two mob like races who can't get along with each other. Let's call them race A and race B. A is stuck on an Ark (the title of the movie) while B has been exiled from it (if they are a part of the resistance) or turned into slaves (if they're on the Ark), and B holds onto the hope that their leader (some woman whose name I don't remember and don't care to remember either) will come back to life to lead them to Paradise.

And typical of prophesy child movies, the child is a complete waste of time. Add to this, a villain whose purpose of existing is to molest the child (suggestive, not explicit), a hero whose a part of the resistance by B, and A which is run by a really stupid queen (and are in control of a city) who doesn't listen to her cronies (lady, if you elect cronies, at the very least LISTEN TO THEM) and - spoiler! spoiler! spoiler! - she gets killed (really late in the movie, but still). As is expected by a prophesy child movie, the ship comes to life, everyone gets carried to a new place (A AND B both), and we all live happily ever after.

Now, what's the problem? Long drawn out narration mentions and explains (as does THE WHOLE MOVIE!!!) that there is a problem between A and B. But doesn't conclude it AT ALL - the ending, therefore, is forced. Then, the details of HOW THE PROPHESY CHILD GOT ITS POWERS ARE NEVER EXPLAINED!! Furthermore, because of the choppy animation, it makes me wonder why they made such an attempt at a movie AT ALL?! The worst part is the voice acting - amateurish, at best; ear rape, at worst. Even with the already dead-as-a-rock plot, the actors leave no trace of doubts that clichés will be used to get from start to finish. The prophesy child has daddy issues, and daddy has a pervert for a boss who thinks (and is suggested in awkward ways) that... I don't even know what he thinks. He just... does his thing. That is all that can be said.

In the end, don't waste download space or money on this crap. Really, don't. Instead, watch something better. Watch a classic, like Dick Tracy (1990). If you would like a mildly bearable movie watch Titan A.E. (2000) which has a more involving storyline and a better progression (and DOESN'T HAVE A RETARDED PROPHESY CHILD WHICH HAS BITCHY FATHER ISSUES), and is a better story as well. This movie, is god awful. It is simply NOT WORTH YOUR TIME!

I like this movie. I won't shirk from it. For a start, the humor is good - and both in dialogue as well as through actions - it keeps its humor intact, while actually spotting out some rather witty interactions (the dinner scene for instance). Given that we had Kick Ass (2010) and the Spiderman movies (2002-2008) out around this time, and that the protagonist is likable in my opinion, with a clearly defined villain and a simplistic story overall, why would you rate it low? Let's be honest, it's better than Scary Movie 3 (2003), and it has much better entertainment value than Frozen (2013). And best part, it doesn't require you to think or be involved AT ALL - if nothing else, you are prompted to refer to the movies (which by the way, is a good quality of this movie - some of the movies it pokes at are good movies).

In my opinion, give it a watch. I wasn't disappointed. And I've seen the epitomes of disappointment - Ark (2003) and Get Hard (2015).

I strongly disagree with the rating this movie got. Get Hard (2015) should have a 2.3. Ark (2005) should have a 1.0, But this... it was nice. I think it had some good humor attached to it (the Pirates of the Caribbean 2 reference, for instance actually does make sense, and made for good laughs in my opinion). Among other things, it had a plot and didn't needlessly generate discordance (hey, since we're speaking of spoilers, I'll put in a spoiler for people - Will Farrell's Get Hard. period).

Point being, it's a lampoon of movies which came out at the time. And overall, it handled those lampoons quite well, and where it succeeded was making me feel relaxed and not perturbed (Will Farrell's Get Hard, people). So, jokes apart, watch it. It is epic in its own silly way, and it doesn't shirk away from what it intended to do - it's a lampoon, and that was how it was intended to be.

There isn't much to say about fight club. While the blurb of the movie gives clear indications of what the movie is about, the progression of the movie warrants that you watch the movie. And what a movie it is indeed - From the inception of Fight Club (not revealing anything about it), to the ending scene, it is a narrative stroke of genius, with a tinge of insanity, awesomeness, and balls-- to-the-wall fun which is rare to find to be honest. People can make the argument that such insanity is commonplace in movies ("Psycho", "Clockwork Orange", "Rock n Rolla", "Dementia", "Batman: The Dark Knight", "Apocalypse Now", "Shutter Island") but here, it is unique because of the setting, the way the acting balances the plot as well as uses the environment rather than allow a static transition from one scene to the next. Here, I'll only mention good humor being one example of how this balance is achieved between the environment and the characters. In conclusion, this is a good movie. A definitive watch – well, at least once anyway.