What am I missing? The cloying sentimentality that was transparent from pretty much the first scene (ok, maybe not the first scene) quickly became unbearable. And did we really have to hear the title track three times in barely an hour and a half? It seemed like the whole point was to showcase some pretty average music. Couldn't wait for it to be over.
Reviews
10 Reviews
Please Don't Eat the Daisies
(1960)
Unfunny "comedy" that does not even conjure up the usual nostalgia
5 August 2017
This film adapts a Jean Kerr novel about her life with a professor-turned-theater-critic. Apparently, the novel is hilarious, but this film is anything but. Even the trailer -- which for a comedy should really capture the best laugh lines -- elicited barely a chuckle. Or maybe audiences then were less sophisticated: who knows? Anyway, the best diagnosis of this film is that David Niven is horribly miscast. Doris Day is her usual charming self, if not a bit anodyne (no surprise there, sorry!), but there is just nothing by way of chemistry between David Niven and her that would make you think that this is anything but an attempt to cash in on two brand-name actors. Niven's character alternates between flying off the handle and almost robotically delivering lines better suited for some boringly handsome American actor than for an actor of Niven's caliber.
Moreover, when the story line takes the characters to the fictional Hudson River exurb of Hooton (which sounds more like somewhere in Appalachia or the Mayberry South than anything in that part of the world), the pastiche of crazy local townspeople is almost too much to bear.
That it goes on for just under two hours adds insult to injury.
Moreover, when the story line takes the characters to the fictional Hudson River exurb of Hooton (which sounds more like somewhere in Appalachia or the Mayberry South than anything in that part of the world), the pastiche of crazy local townspeople is almost too much to bear.
That it goes on for just under two hours adds insult to injury.
A Promise
(2013)
So beautiful, but oh so boring
9 May 2017
It's no wonder that the film's budget was nearly $11 million. "A Promise" is truly gorgeously shot.
It's equally no surprise that the US box-office take was less than $1 million. I don't know at whose feet to lay the blame for this soporific set-piece: casting? direction? I do know that this is a love story without much in the way of romantic feeling. Perhaps a boy-meets-girl, boy-gets-girl plot is way too predictable these days, but there was so little spark, particularly from the younger of the two male leads, that I did not even root for the typical outcome.
It was clever, I suppose, to substitute "British" class-based accents for a story set in Germany to distinguish characters' social classes from one another. (How would the average viewer know a higher-class German-accented English versus a lower-class one?) And there were certainly other competent directorial decisions. There may have also been an anachronism or two, however, including a clunky scene near the end alluding to the rise of Nazism, but the timing wasn't completely clear (right after the war? early 1920s?), so I'll give M. Leconte a pass on that.
May the great Alan Rickman, a highlight of this production, rest in peace.
It's equally no surprise that the US box-office take was less than $1 million. I don't know at whose feet to lay the blame for this soporific set-piece: casting? direction? I do know that this is a love story without much in the way of romantic feeling. Perhaps a boy-meets-girl, boy-gets-girl plot is way too predictable these days, but there was so little spark, particularly from the younger of the two male leads, that I did not even root for the typical outcome.
It was clever, I suppose, to substitute "British" class-based accents for a story set in Germany to distinguish characters' social classes from one another. (How would the average viewer know a higher-class German-accented English versus a lower-class one?) And there were certainly other competent directorial decisions. There may have also been an anachronism or two, however, including a clunky scene near the end alluding to the rise of Nazism, but the timing wasn't completely clear (right after the war? early 1920s?), so I'll give M. Leconte a pass on that.
May the great Alan Rickman, a highlight of this production, rest in peace.
The Cruise
(1998)
I loved it, but can see how it would not suit everyone
2 May 2017
The best advice I've seen from other reviews is -- give this ten minutes and you'll know whether you should bother with the remaining hour or so. But if you love New York and its denizens, and if you romanticize its gritty, not-so-distant past (even if at the time it scared you), and if you marvel at how ordinary people can become extraordinary when given the right milieu, then I think you will love this film.
The cinematography is intimate, almost as if taken with a selfie stick. This intimacy is well considered and executed, because the film amounts to a soliloquy of a thoughtful and thought-provoking young man who can definitely string together a sentence or two or twenty. Is he self-absorbed? Yes. Is he boring? Sometimes. Isn't that the point of watching this film? This effort is not about viewer entertainment per se, although viewers can find this sort of thing very entertaining if they have the right mindset.
Bottom line: you do have to know what you're getting into, but if you're up for it, so is he.
The cinematography is intimate, almost as if taken with a selfie stick. This intimacy is well considered and executed, because the film amounts to a soliloquy of a thoughtful and thought-provoking young man who can definitely string together a sentence or two or twenty. Is he self-absorbed? Yes. Is he boring? Sometimes. Isn't that the point of watching this film? This effort is not about viewer entertainment per se, although viewers can find this sort of thing very entertaining if they have the right mindset.
Bottom line: you do have to know what you're getting into, but if you're up for it, so is he.
Bridget Jones's Baby
(2016)
Offensively boring: quit while you're behind
28 February 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Clocking in at over two hours (!!), this tired extension of the otherwise charming (if ultimately predictable) Bridget Jones series is an exercise in dumbing down and cashing in. I could go on forever, but then it would be as though I were mimicking the film's protracted length, so I'll leave it at these salient points:
* So. Much. Product. Placement.
* The word "f**k" is not inherently funny. Nor is it edgy, at least not any more. And having a kid scream it in a scene in a church? Anti-funny.
* Renee Zellweger's well deserved plaudits for a credible middle-class English accent have gone to her head, her eyes, her cheekbones, etc. It's just way overdone now.
* The "Jack" character is completely unbelievable in his being entranced by Bridget, thus rendering the plot more or less beyond realistic.
There's a cliffhanger at the end, suggesting that this story will go on. Please, God, make it stop.
* So. Much. Product. Placement.
* The word "f**k" is not inherently funny. Nor is it edgy, at least not any more. And having a kid scream it in a scene in a church? Anti-funny.
* Renee Zellweger's well deserved plaudits for a credible middle-class English accent have gone to her head, her eyes, her cheekbones, etc. It's just way overdone now.
* The "Jack" character is completely unbelievable in his being entranced by Bridget, thus rendering the plot more or less beyond realistic.
There's a cliffhanger at the end, suggesting that this story will go on. Please, God, make it stop.
Ptown Diaries
(2009)
Interesting bits overshadowed by lousy (non-existent?) editing
10 October 2016
This documentary covers the post-Native American history of Provincetown (Massachusetts), from the landing of the Mayflower in 1620 to the naughties. Capably narrated by Alan Cumming, "Ptown Diaries" intersperses these historical bits with interviews with local officials and non-narrated video of a handful of regular people and events.
The history and the interviews are for the most part very well done: the right length, interesting content, and so forth. I would have liked to see more about the tension between wealthy newcomers/second-home owners and those with longer ties to the community -- there was an interesting thread of homophobia/heterophobia which was a little jarring given Ptown's reputation for acceptance.
My problem with the documentary was the non-narrated video of regular people and events. These could have been even more interesting than the narrated bits if edited appropriately (and if more such people had been captured). Instead, long sequences shot in gay/lesbian bars felt interminable, and I would swear that some of this immensely tedious footage was actually repeated. The 90-minute documentary could easily have been 20 minutes shorter.
Maybe filmmaker Joe Mantegna was trying to reduce the summer tourist throng. After all, my other half said, "If that's what Ptown has become, we're never going back."
The history and the interviews are for the most part very well done: the right length, interesting content, and so forth. I would have liked to see more about the tension between wealthy newcomers/second-home owners and those with longer ties to the community -- there was an interesting thread of homophobia/heterophobia which was a little jarring given Ptown's reputation for acceptance.
My problem with the documentary was the non-narrated video of regular people and events. These could have been even more interesting than the narrated bits if edited appropriately (and if more such people had been captured). Instead, long sequences shot in gay/lesbian bars felt interminable, and I would swear that some of this immensely tedious footage was actually repeated. The 90-minute documentary could easily have been 20 minutes shorter.
Maybe filmmaker Joe Mantegna was trying to reduce the summer tourist throng. After all, my other half said, "If that's what Ptown has become, we're never going back."
The Slut
(2011)
Daring at times, but mostly pointless and/or incongruous
6 September 2016
I "get" that indie films can sometimes be unconventional in ways that leave viewers bewildered, uncomfortable, unimpressed or otherwise dissatisfied, but usually there is a point to such films that even a dissatisfied viewer can appreciate. I do not think that "The Slut" has such a point.
The pacing is mostly plodding. Sure, rural life plods along most of the time, but the screenwriter's/director's choice of how to reflect this seemed contrived, and made the 86-minute film seem much longer. For example, at one point a character loses a few items from the back of a vehicle. The character retrieves those items, slowly. Then, the scene cuts to a wide-angle shot, lingering on the stationary vehicle and the surrounding landscape. To me, this felt like directorial laziness -- "Viewers, ruminate over the ostensibly humdrum scenery, and eventually realise its bleak grandeur!" -- rather than inspiration. But perhaps I've seen too many films employing this kind of padding, and others will feel an awe that I did not.
There are also two key incongruities that detract meaningfully from this film. For a film that mostly skims over plot and relegates dialogue to a few mumbles, the sex can be quite graphic, with male genitalia often presented in full view (and turgidity). Although I imagine that the sex is not intended to titillate, I wonder why it seems to be the most real thing in an otherwise mostly unreal project.
Secondly, the film's climax, though probably intended as a twist, comes across as completely unbelievable.
The pacing is mostly plodding. Sure, rural life plods along most of the time, but the screenwriter's/director's choice of how to reflect this seemed contrived, and made the 86-minute film seem much longer. For example, at one point a character loses a few items from the back of a vehicle. The character retrieves those items, slowly. Then, the scene cuts to a wide-angle shot, lingering on the stationary vehicle and the surrounding landscape. To me, this felt like directorial laziness -- "Viewers, ruminate over the ostensibly humdrum scenery, and eventually realise its bleak grandeur!" -- rather than inspiration. But perhaps I've seen too many films employing this kind of padding, and others will feel an awe that I did not.
There are also two key incongruities that detract meaningfully from this film. For a film that mostly skims over plot and relegates dialogue to a few mumbles, the sex can be quite graphic, with male genitalia often presented in full view (and turgidity). Although I imagine that the sex is not intended to titillate, I wonder why it seems to be the most real thing in an otherwise mostly unreal project.
Secondly, the film's climax, though probably intended as a twist, comes across as completely unbelievable.
Don Jon
(2013)
This "rom-com-drama" fell flat for me despite the gorgeous performers
24 August 2016
Let me start this review by saying that I love Julianne Moore, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Scarlett Johansen. As such, I was really looking forward to it, and perhaps that expectation contributed to my ultimate disappointment.
Everyone looks gorgeous in this film (special praise for Tony Danza, a 65-year-old with a much younger man's physique: well done!), but apart from that, there isn't much to recommend it. If it's a comedy, we must have missed all the jokes because it just wasn't funny. The "late '80s North Jersey guido" stereotypes are all trotted out in quick succession, whereafter viewers are beaten over the head with them. The accents! The muscle cars! The tight clothing! The product-heavy hairstyles! The gratuitous shouting and swearing! The mother who endures it all for the unconditional love of her son! If there were an adaptation for the stage, I bet we'd have been sprayed with Drakkar Noir to complete the feeling.
Other points: * The always delightful Julianne Moore is under-used here. * The exploration of a character's addiction to porn is at best a side show. This is not a film with really much depth at all.
Everyone looks gorgeous in this film (special praise for Tony Danza, a 65-year-old with a much younger man's physique: well done!), but apart from that, there isn't much to recommend it. If it's a comedy, we must have missed all the jokes because it just wasn't funny. The "late '80s North Jersey guido" stereotypes are all trotted out in quick succession, whereafter viewers are beaten over the head with them. The accents! The muscle cars! The tight clothing! The product-heavy hairstyles! The gratuitous shouting and swearing! The mother who endures it all for the unconditional love of her son! If there were an adaptation for the stage, I bet we'd have been sprayed with Drakkar Noir to complete the feeling.
Other points: * The always delightful Julianne Moore is under-used here. * The exploration of a character's addiction to porn is at best a side show. This is not a film with really much depth at all.
The 19th Wife
(2010 TV Movie)
You get what you pay for in this Lifetime stinker
24 May 2016
It's a good thing that no one pays extra for Lifetime to be included in their cable-channel bundle (do they?) because this film was a complete waste of time -- it was 87 minutes that I'll never get back, and I'm not happy about it.
This adaptation of a novel ignored one key aspect of its source material: the sexual orientation of Jordan, the Matt Czuchry character. Although the adaptation did not completely disrespect the novel by, say, having Jordan as a love interest for his old friend, Queenie, I think it would have added something significant to the story to have this woven into the narrative.
Even ignoring the mismatch between novel and film on that dimension, other key elements of the story are just barely credible. How many times does Hiram tell his wife Queenie to mind her own business and stay away from Jordan, only for her to show up quite openly in the very next scene with Jordan, definitely not minding her own business? And who else thought it was completely unrealistic that a 16-year-old girl (Five) with no access to the outside world would, over the span of just a month, run away to Vegas, then come back to a nearby town (well, 50 miles away) and work in a coffee shop, periodically sneaking back to Mesadale to visit her mother?
I guess it was a coup for Lifetime to get Czuchry before "The Good Wife" became popular, but no amount of his charm and acting skill can save this.
This adaptation of a novel ignored one key aspect of its source material: the sexual orientation of Jordan, the Matt Czuchry character. Although the adaptation did not completely disrespect the novel by, say, having Jordan as a love interest for his old friend, Queenie, I think it would have added something significant to the story to have this woven into the narrative.
Even ignoring the mismatch between novel and film on that dimension, other key elements of the story are just barely credible. How many times does Hiram tell his wife Queenie to mind her own business and stay away from Jordan, only for her to show up quite openly in the very next scene with Jordan, definitely not minding her own business? And who else thought it was completely unrealistic that a 16-year-old girl (Five) with no access to the outside world would, over the span of just a month, run away to Vegas, then come back to a nearby town (well, 50 miles away) and work in a coffee shop, periodically sneaking back to Mesadale to visit her mother?
I guess it was a coup for Lifetime to get Czuchry before "The Good Wife" became popular, but no amount of his charm and acting skill can save this.
Eat with Me
(2014)
How to make 95 minutes seem like an eternity
15 April 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I'm afraid that I did not enjoy or even see the point of this film, which grew out of a well respected 2003 short.
The film gets a second star only by virtue of the relative diversity of its cast and the unusual focus on an older Asian-American woman as a main character. Nevertheless, the way that another main character's sexual orientation was addressed felt a lot more dated despite its 2014 vintage. For instance, although the film takes place in Los Angeles and its immediate suburbs, a character describes hearing about "Those People on the news" (you can practically hear the capital letters) as though she had not been exposed to popular culture (much less a contemporary newscast or even a gay neighbor) for the last thirty years.
As others have pointed out, the pacing is unbearably slow and the delivery of lines is wooden. Pretty much all elements of every story arc make no sense or are painfully contrived: the son's fancy apartment in view of his rundown Chinese takeaway; the late-in-the-film revelation by his colleague of her mother-like interest in him (if their interactions over the previous 75 minutes constituted maternal attention, I feel sorry for her unborn child); and the ability of just three kinds of dumplings (including -- wait for it -- chicken and THAI BASIL!) to turn around a failed business. Even the love interest's accent was off, falling awkwardly between generic "British" and a quite distinct Australian twang.
Nicole Sullivan is a highlight but even she might be drawn a bit too clichéd for my liking.
The film gets a second star only by virtue of the relative diversity of its cast and the unusual focus on an older Asian-American woman as a main character. Nevertheless, the way that another main character's sexual orientation was addressed felt a lot more dated despite its 2014 vintage. For instance, although the film takes place in Los Angeles and its immediate suburbs, a character describes hearing about "Those People on the news" (you can practically hear the capital letters) as though she had not been exposed to popular culture (much less a contemporary newscast or even a gay neighbor) for the last thirty years.
As others have pointed out, the pacing is unbearably slow and the delivery of lines is wooden. Pretty much all elements of every story arc make no sense or are painfully contrived: the son's fancy apartment in view of his rundown Chinese takeaway; the late-in-the-film revelation by his colleague of her mother-like interest in him (if their interactions over the previous 75 minutes constituted maternal attention, I feel sorry for her unborn child); and the ability of just three kinds of dumplings (including -- wait for it -- chicken and THAI BASIL!) to turn around a failed business. Even the love interest's accent was off, falling awkwardly between generic "British" and a quite distinct Australian twang.
Nicole Sullivan is a highlight but even she might be drawn a bit too clichéd for my liking.
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