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Finestkind (2023)
5/10
Disappointment surely makes a splash
26 December 2023
The trailer promises a few things the movie doesn't deliver: interesting relationships, tension, some good old double crossing that keeps you guessing.

What you actually get is a discombobulated script where the characters - all grown man - make more mistakes per second than a high, dumb teenager. The only thing keeping you at the edge of your seat is the frustration of seeing the consequences coming from a mile away, and knowing exactly where everything is going.

Also, the very, VERY forced love interest... just awkward.

And here's the quote they want you to take away, as they make sure to say it three times in the movie and the trailer: "You live, you die. It's the in-between that counts." Actually, living IS the in-between so... awkward, again.

It's a shame, given the big actors it managed to fish.
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Locked In (V) (2023)
3/10
Complete nonsense
2 November 2023
The premise of a woman who can't communicate after an accident but still finds a way to let her nurse know that someone tried to kill her starts off interesting. But let me save you your time: this movie is bad and will add nothing but sorrow to your life.

ALL the characters are annoying and make the dumbest decisions possible every single time. I would explain with examples, but then my review would be classified as containing spoilers and I wouldn't be able to save people that haven't yet wasted their time with this.

It's an infuriating, uninspired, very predictable movie. Rating it a 3 is being generous.
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2/10
Terrible, boring, flat
29 December 2022
How this movie has a 6-start rating is beyond me. Incredibly boring and flat, and even the songs are mediocre at best. You cannot justify this basic, boring movie as "it's for the kids". Even for kids, this movie comes across dumb and empty of any lessons or deeper meaning.

I gave it a 2 out of 10 only because of the amazing Javier Bardem, who probably owed someone a big BIG favor and had to do this movie. I rarely add comments to my ratings, but I'm here to warn you: don't waste your time.

If you still do watch it, expect your soul to leave your body about 10 minutes in, and only come back when you turn it off.
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