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christoffergaddini
Reviews
American Horror Story: The Auteur (2024)
A Flat Fart of a Finale
I loved the first half of this season.
Kim was fantastic, perfectly cast, especially with the reveal of who her character ACTUALLY is. Conversely, Roberts was wholly forgettable as the doe-eyed actress who sold her soul for fame. But during the course of 8 episodes this women suffers through traumatic experience after traumatic experience. Thus, it simply does not make sense that she would play along with all these horrific experiences just for an Oscar. I mean, this achievement is something all gifted actors strive for, but over the course of the season it became so clear that she was selling her soul, or baby, for the Oscar that it was not believable that this character would go along with this endeavor.
She's a famous actress that's nominated for an Oscar and she's young, so there will be other opportunities for her in the future. Thus, why does she go along when it's so painfully obvious that she's walking into a trap? Again, not Robert's fault, as the character was written horribly. There's a lot of on-the-nose imagery in this finale where she goes through similar horrors, but holding her Oscar. Be careful what you wish for! (🙄).
Structurally, the success of this season hinged on the finale. They set up a million different mysteries that are left unanswered, then they end with l campy villains talking about their evil plans for 30 minutes which culminates in the most ridiculous dues ex machina I've seen in years to defeat the big bad at the end. No tension, no build up, a (dead?) character comes out of nowhere to assist the protagonist who easily kills the main villain, despite this villain just explaining for the past 15 minutes that she was centuries old and the most powerful being on the planet. (🙄).
Let's talk about the set design. They swing for the fences at the end, attempting to pull off a David Lynch-style fever-dream situation.
At one point, the villains stand before an amorphous pile of meat hanging above what looks like a sphere-shaped blood fountain.
The main villain waters a weird plant with blood.
There's an invisible monster that (sometimes?) can be seen by its claw hand.
It's a kitchen-sink approach to horror that makes it painfully obvious that the writer/director hired for this episode does not know how to effectively play in this genre space. It wants to be a little David Cronenberg, a little David Lynch, and steals quite a bit from Dune if you can believe it. None of it works, and the shallowness of the whole endeavor is insulting to fans who stuck it out for 8 episodes of build up to this flat fart of a finale.
Afterwards I vowed to be done with AHS as I've done so many times before. It always starts strong and loses steam by the last couple episodes. It would be far more effective to make these seasons 3-4 episodes long. Without so much "mysterious" filler, much of which this season was left unexplored (ie, the dolls), this season may have sustained the tension that was so effective in episodes 1-4.
Nope (2022)
Destined to be a Classic
Peele's third film is his best. This movie updates UFO (UAP for those new to the concept) mythology in a terrifying way. Both Get Out and Us were fantastic horror films, but Nope blends scary moments with an action-adventure story reminiscent of Jaws. In sum, this is one of the best monster movies of the decade, and the third act is an edge of your seat thrill ride destined to be a classic of the genre. Here's hoping Peele keeps working in the genre, as he's one of the best filmmakers working today and the horror community is lucky to have such a massive talent working in the genre.
American Horror Stories: Bloody Mary (2022)
Mining the Horror of the Black Experience
Fantastic update on an old legend. Ever since Jordan Peele started mining the black experience for horror material, I've loved how other genre filmmakers are following suit. This country was a real-life horror movie for our black brothers and sisters and this genre spin on the darkest corners of US history is equal parts terrifying and heartbreaking. Bravo AHS, keep em' coming!
Pahanhautoja (2022)
Best Foreign Indie Horror Film of the Year (so far)
This is one of the most original monster movies of the decade. Timely suburban political commentary, awards-worthy creature effects, and a dreamy aesthetic that reminded me of Blue Velvet. This one's for the horror fans who appreciate complicated nuanced filmmaking. It's one of the best movies horror films of the year.
Day Shift (2022)
A Fabulous Action-Horror Hybrid
This movie shouldn't work. Snoop Dog is a main character. He clearly doesn't have much acting experience and it shows. However, I couldn't help but love his performance as a contemporary-cowboy by the time the credits rolled. This movie is SO MUCH FUN, and a totally new spin on vampires that make the creature frightening again. Fox is stellar as always, bringing the laughs and brovado in spade. Really innovative fight scenes and the effects are polished and believable. It's got plot holes bIg enough to drive a hummer through, but if your looking for a fun popcorn flick, this is one of the best of the summer. Heres hoping we get a sequel!
American Horror Stories: Aura (2022)
Stories hits it Stride
Aura and Dollhouse set the bar for what this serious can deliver. Original, timely, and kept me guessing until the end (hard to do for this hardened fan). Bravo AHS, keep em' coming!
American Horror Stories: Milkmaids (2022)
Painful for this AHS fanboy
Plot: People become sexually aroused by suckling on puss filled small pox boils in colonial America. Ew. Not a horror story, this is a gross-out period piece with some drama thrown in for good measure. Unnecessary repulsive, bleak, and most unforgivable of all, boring. Im rooting for the team behind ASH; this show could be great, and we need more horror anthologies. Skip this one, and kept your fingers crossed for next week.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
Give This Chainsaw a Chance
The rollout of this new movie has been abysmal, and so has the critical reception. However, I think this movie will fare much better with age, as it's an edge of your seat thrill ride.
No sequel in this series has been able to replicate the social commentary, Americana, and sheer terror of the original. This one gets 2/3, failing on the social commentary front. But when it comes to that dusky Americana Hooper trademarked all those years ago, as well as the edge-of-your-seat action, this one nails it.
Give this one a chance knowing that you really only have to wait 15min or so until the mayhem ensues.
The Deep House (2021)
A movie for horror aficionados who've seen it all
I've never seen a movie done completely underwater before, and the limitations the characters face with air supply, lighting, space, ect., create an incredibly tense movie. Additionally, they ratchet up the tension by having the second two acts play out in real-time, so you genuinely feel trapped with these characters.
Yes, the actual plot behind the haunting is a lazy retread of the common haunted house tropes, but if you go in knowing that this film isn't aiming to reinvent a genre, instead putting its efforts behind delivering one hell of a rollercoaster ride of a movie, I guarantee your gonna have a spooky good time!