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CraigHollands
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Reviews
The Unseen (2017)
last few minutes were very entertaining
I have nothing to say about this film other than the last few minutes of this movie were hilarious as i was just watching the director in the reflection of the window the whole time
The Ghost Knows (2017)
I wonder if the ghost knows how bad this movie is...
Holy sh*t, what a terrible movie this was, terrible acting, dialogue, editing.. just everything. I cannot even describe how bad this was, but 1 part just annoyed the most and that's when you can see that they couldn't even be bothered to key out the blue screen in one of the scenes. Why is this not being marketed as a comedy as well? it felt more of a comedy than a horror film. I feel bad for the actors and i wonder if they even enjoyed making this garbage or if the ghost made them do it.
Den of Darkness (2016)
I Wish i was Blind Now
The first thing i noticed when "Den of Darkness" started was how robotic the "actors" were, it felt like watching a bunch of Kristen Stewart impressionists talking to each other with their expressionless faces and inability to move their facial muscles, another thing which annoyed me was the fact the the main character Hellen feels the need to remind us she is blind every 5 seconds for the first half of the movie, we get it, you are blind, i can tell by the way you walk around the house as if you are drunk, just stellar acting there. Then something really special happens, whoever watches this film will be treated to the worlds slowest most boring "training" montage in which Hellen manages to to overcome her depression of the fact she is blind. The script was awful, real people don't talk or phrase things how these people do in this film, someone actually says "kisses like strawberries" to which i responded by proceeding to open my window and consider jumping to my impending doom, but the film was nearly over so i decided to continue to watch it, i really could only find one thing i liked about this film and that was Rosa the maid, played by Ada Luz Pla, you were a beacon of light in a Den of Darkness.
The Possession Experiment (2016)
Pinocchio is less wooden than these actors
When "The Possession Experiment" opened i was greeted with a film which appeared to have some form of production value, this was a lie, as i think most of the budget must have been spent on that one scene, that single scene gave me hope, hope that was eventually possessed by the devil himself and subsequently destroyed, the actors were wooden and their characters were two dimensional, and i felt the "twist" was underwhelming, i also don't understand what happened with the editing and cinematography as at some points i was like "wow that was shot really well" then 80-90% was poorly edited and the lighting was just awful, i am now currently in mid seance as i type out this review, conducting an experiment to be possessed myself so i can forget about what i have just watched.
Rise of the Scarecrows (2009)
Why do i keep watching this film?
Rise of the Scarecrows is in it's own right an excellent example of how not to make a low budget horror film. As every minute passed i felt a tiny piece of my soul leaving my body, I would really like to say that this movie is so bad that it's good, but it really isn't. The only redeeming factor is the occasional cheap laugh from the expertly executed acting and script writing, yet i can't seem to stop watching it. I am currently into my 5th viewing of this movie as i type out this review, all the time wondering, "why?, why am i doing this to myself? and why can't i stop?" Although i have rated this film 1/10 i am extremely thankful to Geno McGahee for making it, this film has changed my perspective of life and why we exist on this floating rock we call earth.