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Unacknowledged (2017)
We are not alone in the universe
"Once you conclude that they (UFO's) are real and they are of interstellar origin" is one of Greer's massive leaps that is gently slipped into one of his many monologues. If you do accept it then everything else follows a logical progression. However there is insufficient evidence from which to draw such a conclusion. The whole film is flooded with anecdotal evidence, Greer's monologues and eyewitness testimony (which is the most unreliable of all evidence despite its power in a court of law).
I am perfectly happy to accept that in a universe of over 100 billion galaxies, each containing over 100 billion stars, that there are definitely millions of civilisations past and present on distant planets in distant galaxies.
As in all such documentaries I remind myself of the meaning of the abbreviation UFO, Unidentified Flying Object. If you don't know what it is, that doesn't make it an alien space ship no matter who you are. You don't know what it is! This is matched by the assertion that as "they" can't account for 25% of the 38 billion dollar defence budget it must be being spent on UFO related fields. If they can't track 2.3 trillion dollars worth of transactions (the next quote) how do they know it is being spent on the unacknowledged classified programmes? If you can't account for it then you can't account for it! I could go on but I am getting bored (as I expect you are if you have managed to get this far).
If you believe this stuff then enjoy the film as it will readily fuel your beliefs. However for me it's about as plausible as the lunar landings - now there's a great conspiracy. If you are looking for substantive evidence of extra-terrestrial visitation then look elsewhere. If you like "and he told me..." type of evidence, fill your boots.
We Go On (2016)
At last! An awesome horror film.
So many times I write a review on here warning others against the over- rated trash that so often hits the headlines, conning the unsuspecting into shelling out their hard earned cash to see a pile of drivel. This is so good it should have hit the cinemas (or I missed it when it did). OK it is low budget, but the story, the characters and the thoughtful twists make it so much better than I had expected. A really novel take on the ghost story which doesn't play out like a documentary and suitably ridicules the TV ghost hunter fakers. I won't spoil it but if you enjoyed "It follows", which had many good points, you should try this out. As soon as I had finished watching it I wanted to give it a positive review (even though it meant dragging my bloated carcass out of bed to do so). Ignore the budget, it doesn't matter. Interesting story, acting and concepts. Enjoy!
The Neon Demon (2016)
Horror it is not!
Not entirely surprised by the direction of the film, as I have watched and not appreciated others he has been involved in, but it is a pretty slow and painful offering. Was I scared? About as much as by "Black Swan" which was also over-rated in my opinion. If you appreciate the arty but ultimately dreary plot and slow progression then you probably appreciated "Drive" too. I didn't and although I didn't give up on it part way through, as I have a penchant for at times, on reflection I wish I had. Would I ever watch it again? Absolutely not. As maligned as "Showgirls" has been, it is a far superior version of the impact a new girl into a cut throat competitive career makes.
The Snare (2017)
Not scary and not very good.
Having just walked out of the very hyped La La Land after the abysmal opening number I decided to try and scare myself back into appreciating films. Unfortunately I once again believed the positive reviews and was suckered into watching (well OK I was on my phone after a very short while) the meandering pointlessness of this dreary and uninspiring dirge. Now I have seen some truly awful films and also refused to watch the majority of many (Death race 2050 being one) but I mostly don't bother to review them unless the reviews are ludicrously generous. If you like horror films then just don't bother with this as it is not scary at all (unless you are a microwave oven, but you would have to watch it, or find someone else who has, to understand that comment). Avoid - you have been warned!
The Unfolding (2016)
No redeeming features
Whatever deep meaning there was supposed to be within this film it passed me by completely. Lots of sudden loud noise shocks, ludicrous decisions and poor acting as is often the case in this type of film. I am occasionally pleasantly surprised by poorly rated films but not in this case. More than one star is generous. The science quoted is garbage, the behaviour nonsensical and the psychic, as well as the "effects", straight out of one of those awful TV shows like "Ghost-hunters".
I wouldn't even consider it worthy as an "Ironing" film. It's like a low budget "Paranormal activity" and even though more happens in this film I found it to be similarly pointless. If you are looking to waste the odd 90 minutes of your life then go ahead with this trash. If not look elsewhere.
Ask Me Anything (2014)
It isn't thrilling, nor mysterious
If you are after a drama, chronicling the life choices and problems of a seemingly sensible (but promiscuous)female college student taking a year off then go ahead but it probably won't make your day. If you are looking for mystery or thrills you need to watch something else. I kept waiting for both to arrive but was extremely disappointed by their absence as well as the predictability of the film. As a drama it was OK but not worthy of the average rating of 6, unless that signifies incredibly mediocre. By the end I was hoping the main character would take a trip to Switzerland and put us all out of her misery but it was not even that good. The epitome of an anti-climax.
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Massively overrated. What am I missing?
Went to see this in the cinema after the good reviews from IMDb and my friends, some of whom went to see it twice. What a disappointment. It didn't appeal on any level. It was a complete pile of Groot! Humour was limited and shallow, plot gossamer thin and the action was not really worth the effort on the whole. It's not as if I took the film seriously either. I really enjoyed the ludicrous Lucy, despite its numerous flaws. Surely I can't be the only one who didn't like this film? If it had been directed by Uwe Boll it couldn't have been much worse. If I never see it again I will be OK. Glad I didn't waste more time and money watching it in an IMAX. A 12 inch portable black and white would suffice.
Drive Angry (2011)
Cage at his best?
If you don't expect a serious film but are happy to sit back and enjoy the ride you may even love this. OK so it's supposed to be in 3D but I saw it in 2D and still thoroughly enjoyed it. The plot is seriously thin, the violence gratuitous, the characters shallow and the deaths numerous. Cage exhibits the same ability to gun down others instantly and at the same time dodge a hail of bullets without even trying to as Arnie but so what? An excellent kick ass female - Amber Heard, some reasonably well delivered quips from Cage and cars, guns and girls. What's not to like? Well the pretty weak climax I suppose. Even so this is orders of magnitude better than Machete, Hobo with a shotgun and the like.
House of the Dead 2 (2005)
If you hated House of the Dead then this will have you reaching for the razor blades
OK I have to admit that I quite enjoyed House of the Dead despite its well documented failings. This however was the worst film I have seen since Demons at the Door. Compared to DATD the effects are vastly superior. However the plot is weak, the acting reminiscent of everyone's favourite, the porn film, and the decisions and actions of the "characters" consistently verge on the moronic. I feel like trying out Uwe Boll's latest cinematic outings just to get some sense of perspective over HOTD2. I am not suggesting that he is really the cure, more a case of a different disease, but when your senses have been insulted in such an abhorrent manner the only way is up. OK there it is. I have managed the ten line minimum and shall waste no more of our time on the waste of celluloid that is House of the dead 2.
Demons at the Door (2004)
Dire beyond belief. A complete waste of time!
Despite reading other's comments I tried this film. Unfortunately those dismissing it as abject garbage were overstating the quality. The plot as described appeals to those intrigued by the ancients yet does nothing to whet their appetite. The acting is worse than a porn film, I half expected John Holmes to appear, even though he is dead, and show the guys how to do it (better). The special effects could have been produced using crayon on a flip chart and would not have been less impressive. The only redeeming feature is that it does end and not a moment too soon. Perhaps in future we can use this title as a euphemism for needing to defaecate immediately (cf prairie dogging). At least those of us unfortunate enough to ignore the warnings will understand just how imminent and severe the resultant discharge will be, even if no-one else does. In short beware! You could be wasting the last few precious minutes of your life.