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Reviews
Si da tian wang (1987)
Below-Standard Hong Kong Action Movie - Great Dubbing
The plot concerns four criminals from mainland China who go to Hong Kong to make their fortune. Just because I used the word plot shouldn't lead you to think that it makes any sense. It doesn't. The main point of this movie is the tight relationship of the four robbers. The humorless leader is always going on about his principles while he's shooting and stealing. But the real stars of this movie are the people who did the dubbing. I guess they were bored or drunk or something because they do some hilarious voices. There is a character named Dragon that gets a Dean Martin-like voice. And the Thai policeman who is put in charge of the investigation is given a deep, weird voice. There are several minor characters that have unusual and funny voices also. This the only reason to watch this movie but it's enough. This movie is available as part of the Mill Creek Entertainment Martial Arts 50 Movie Pack.
Death Machines (1976)
Very Bad But Strangely Watchable
I'm from Texas so I thought I knew big hair, but the female villain in this movie had humongous hair. Whenever she was on the screen I couldn't concentrate on anything but her hair. Take about stage presence! There seemed to be a lot of people with hearing problems in this movie also. There was a traffic warden writing out a parking ticket who somehow didn't notice the owner plunging toward the car screaming at the top of his lungs until he hit the car. Then there was a guy in a phone booth who couldn't hear a huge bulldozer coming at him until it was 5 feet away. All the hit men in this movie seemed a bit deaf, no one had to sneak up on them. The one handed 'hero' of this movie was so whiny and ineffective that it was funny. The bar-fight was pretty funny. There is a priceless scene where the hero and his girlfriend just had sex and judging from their expressions, it wasn't good for either one of them. It made me laugh out loud. This movie is on the 50 Movie Pack Martial Arts set if you want to see a lot of bad movies (with a few decent ones).