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X (II) (2022)
1/10
Typical Ti West fare
14 April 2022
An hour into the movie before anything of note happens.

Then the next 40 minutes where a little bit happens

Lacklustre story using all the old horror tropes whilst actually making them worse

The guy cannot do horror stories, aspires to be Wes Craven but ends up more like Wesley Crusher.

I wonder how much of the advertising budget was spent on paying people to leave glowing reviews.
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Cyrano (2021)
3/10
It's confirmed...
16 January 2022
Peter Dinklage cannot sing

The story has been done many times before and far better than this abhorration.

Couldn't get past the first two singing parts he does while fighting off a dozen 6 foot tall attackers

It's all rather silly to suspend belief on this movie.
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Archive 81 (2022)
7/10
Decent slow burn horror series
15 January 2022
It's a slow burn for sure but it is a series so don't expect all the answers in the first episode

Binge worthy. Interesting intersection of timelines

As an aside what the hell has happened to Matt McGorry?
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1/10
It's Asylum
31 December 2021
Aliens invade the world.

Some big wigs along with the army have a meeting in a closet

Some really bad cgi alien robots go around shooting everything

That's about as far as I made it before I went to watch some paint drying.
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Mass (2021)
5/10
The actors save the story
29 December 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I'm not American but you could apply the story to many a situation

If it wasn't for the cast on display I may very well have turned off after 30 minutes but the acting kept me invested

The film displays the feelings of many in the same situation but keeps it all very tempered - on meeting the parents of someone's son that had just killed my own child I'm not sure so I would be so placid

The acting would have just about saved the film if it wasn't for the ending that just fizzled out with what seemed like an afterthought of a tale to try and elicit sympathy - something that should have been wrought out during the main part of the film not in the final few seconds.
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1/10
What did you say?
18 December 2021
How is anyone expected to understand what is been said when their is a constant bass drone and loud music playing throughout the whole series

And when there is no other sound the characters whisper to each other.
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8/10
Dark and twisted comedic story
17 December 2021
Never heard of the story, never listened to the podcast!

Rudd and Ferrell in my opinion play off against each other brilliantly, supporting cast are also excellent

Thoroughly enjoyed the ride - the story told with the right tone of a dark twisted comedy that makes you cringe and giggle at the same time.
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Death Valley (II) (2021)
3/10
Poor mans Doom without the big guns?
9 December 2021
Two incompetent soldiers fight to rescue a scientist from some newly discovered creature that takes over your DNA - hmmm, where have I heard that before

The first 30 minutes are just fighing in a jungle (decent pyrotechnics btw) where the two soldiers don't bother shooting the enemy even when they find your compadre you "hid" 5 minutes earlier under some tree roots with a big opening so no one could see him

The creature (some guy in fairly good makeup) is on screen for maybe 10 minutes in total - most of the final hour is just running thru tunnels or crawling thru air ducts or fighting the bad guys

Passable but only just - you've seen it all before.
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1/10
Bad even by RTE's standard and that's a low bar
8 November 2021
Strange that the only other review on this is from someone who literally joined just to review this show.

Think of the worst comedy sketch show ever written and give it a budget of 100 euro

If you think you've seen some bad school plays over the years you haven't seen anything yet.

Terrible acting and zero funnies in this.
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3/10
Not an horror story...
6 November 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Not a horror story and not even a vampire story

Just some rich kids partying, squabbling and arguing.

Audio is very bad in a lot scenes - hard to understand what is being said due to other noises.
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The Sinner (2017–2021)
7/10
Season 4 - jumped the shark?
5 November 2021
Loved the first season, liked the second, third wasn't up to the same standard but still enjoyed it

But who/what was, what I presumed of the series, the sinner of the season is completely absent in S4. It's now nothing more than any other mystery series.
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1/10
Bargain Bin Quality
29 October 2021
None of the previous films were all that good, some were passable but this is the epitome of boring

Nothing happens for over an hour then there is few minutes of some really bad scares and the worst looking scary creature (I've seen Halloween masks that looked better)
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Help (2021 TV Movie)
6/10
Powerful film that went off the rails
21 September 2021
Have to agree with many other reviewers

This started off as an harsh look at what happened in care homes (around the world) during the Covid times then went completely off the rails in the last 25.minutes.

Really don't understand the meaning behind the end of the film except for saving someone but that was akilter to the first hour of the film

Should have stuck to the matter at hand and I would have scored it a 10.
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Fantasy Island (2021–2023)
7/10
I don't get the hate
16 September 2021
I love my horrors and sci-fi but sometimes a sweet redemptionesqe series is very fulfilling and that is what this show is

I remember watching the original and unless my memory fails me it continues everything that made the original what it was

Who cares if the leads are female - two very gorgeous women who act out the roles perfectly

Take off your nostalgia hat and enjoy the show for what it is - perfectly enjoyable family entertainment.
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Zola (2020)
3/10
A film based on tweets says it all
25 July 2021
A rather boring if at times slightly amusing film that goes nowhere Nothing against the actors or the acting but the film serves no purpose, has no message and has no ending.
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1/10
Oh dear lord!
31 January 2021
If you want a synopsis of every disaster/end of the world sci-fi tv series/movie and Ancient Aliens episode then you've come to the right place

p.s. travelling in time doesn't suddenly remove all the radiation from your body
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Closeness (2017)
2/10
A rather boring story brought to the headlines by real killings
7 December 2020
First off there was no reason at all to include video footage of real people being savagely killed Except to bring the film to the headlines everywhere in the hope people will watch it

The rather long scene added absolutely nothing to the somewhat boring teenage angst movie

Not a film to be recommended lightly and probably avoided to deter the director from thinking this is what normal people like watching regardless what he saw in his youth
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4/10
Ms. Johnston the star, the musical numbers the dud
26 November 2020
There's a lot going right for this film - a simple "christmassy" story, the colours, the CGI (liked Don Juan Diego), the set scenes, the cinematography

But the whole movie is spoiled the very naff musical dancing numbers - some that go on forever - was like they gave the composer a few pages of the script and said come up with something people can sing

It wouldn't be so bad if any of the songs were memorable but they are definitely not unlike The Greatest Showman - they were far too shouty, maybe that would work on a stage but not in a film. Look to Annie, Oliver Twist etc for how similar films work with musical sets

The Ms. Johnston character is the standout in the film - entertaining and endearing when ever she was on screen

(As for the Trivia - Buddy 3000 is nothing like Wall-e - has that person even watched that movie?)
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1/10
No comedy, no horror
28 September 2020
Classified as a comedy horror but both are completely missing Bad acting, bad dialogue and bad accents - trying to steal scare scenes (the very few there are) from far better horror movies and failing badly

P.S. when the mic casts a moving shadow take 2 minutes to reshoot the 10 second shot
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The Island (2020–2024)
6/10
A slow burn horror/thriller
31 July 2020
After a binge watch of Dark I came across this and thought what the hell - another German series that maybe as good

But it is a very slow burn show

The first 5 episodes are spent setting up the characters, families, connections, rivalries, love affairs and so on

There is an introduction to the virus early on but doesn't really feature in the show again (bar some news reporting) til episode 6 where it then becomes the focus of the episodes

Having finished filming in December 2019 this was a very opportune series for what the world has experienced in the past 6/7 months
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1/10
Bruce craps out on another film
14 July 2020
After a quite illustrious film career Bruce Willis continues his penchant for crappy films while any film that looks like it might make money demands a million dollars to get out of bed for

Just retire Bruce

As for the film - it's the typical bargain bin robbers get their comeuppance film - something to watch while you check out your Twitter feed, doesn't need much concentration as you've seen this film a hundred times before so know exactly what is gonna happen
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Relic (2020)
1/10
This film is so deep...
11 July 2020
...and yet so boring and totally pointless!

Classed as an horror but there is nothing horrific apart from a woman suffering from alzheimer's and yet gives absolutely no insight in to that condition (last 10 minutes excluded when the film decides ohhh lets try to be an horror and yet still fails miserably - I get this is supposed to be an analogy of the former person but it doesn't work)

Badly lit throughout, terrible dialogue, some off the cuff examples of losing your memory, obscure weird scenes that never connect up or seem to even have any relevance and never touched on again...the list goes on

If you want to see a film about alzheimer's then watch Still Alice - a real horror film without all the pretentiousness of this one
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1/10
Junk of the highest order
1 June 2020
Imagine taking the tropes from multiple films, eating them, throwing them up,then eating the resulting bile Regurgitate said bile and add in some bad dubbing, bad actors, no script and you kinda get somewhere near to what this film is

All the reviews here must be from people involved with the film because it is really bad with no redeeming qualities
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7/10
Stupid, Dumb, Inane
10 January 2020
Not sure why this has such a low rating. There are lots of funny moments, some nice dialogue with funny lines and action that certainly made me laugh Give it more than one episode and you will get into it. If the likes of Naked Gun are your thing then you will like this show (even if it isn't quite on the same par it's still very enjoyable)
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4/10
Audio screwed up?
30 August 2019
Six episodes in and what the hell is going on with the audio Read some meanderings from the producer about trying to make it seem ominous or some crap. Nope just makes it impossible to hear what people are saying and annoying as hell - when you have a constant base drone sound going on it just becomes really irritating and sounds like some cheap home school production. You keep asking yourself am I supposed to be hearing what is going on? Takes you completely out of the story
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