Change Your Image
lapelpinproductions_remo
Reviews
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
Not worth the watch
Probably one of the worst horror films I've seen... absurd jumps in logic and continuity, plot holes that are so mind-bogglingly apparent I cannot fathom how they made it to the final film. Everything in it, from the casting to the plotline, ranges from pretty unbelievable to downright stupid. It's 3rd most watched movie right now on Netflix, but I know exactly the reason because I see this trend of movie-watching at my friend's house: they put the movie on in the background while my friends continue the party and conversation. It's noise in the background. If you actually sit down to watch it, you'll be severely disappointed.
Sweet Girl (2021)
made it 23 minutes!
I'm going to rate this 6 stars because I didn't watch the whole thing, so it'll probably go down when/if I watch the whole thing. I only made it to the 23 minute mark. The cringe-inducing scene where the younger daughter almost tapped out the older, trained sparring partner, wah wah waaaaah. She had so much pent-up rage she almost killed the guy, or tapped him out, both apparently bad as the coach knocks her off in disbelief. She probably got them amazing fighting genes from her dad, and if she can submit the bigger, experienced trainer so well that the threat of death or unconsciousness is imminent, get her to join UFC stat. Anyhow, as she glared up with inner rage and the camera zoomed into her eyes, I was done.
W lesie dzis nie zasnie nikt (2020)
I thought it was great!
Caught this on Netflix and thought it was a great, weird little horror movie from Poland with some of the best characters and dubbing I've seen in a while... awesome homage to 80s horror. Great direction... some of the creative choices and scenes are puzzling but that's what makes it different and memorable... and I loved it. It might even be anti-horror, I will watch it again for a better analysis. But it's fun and highly recommended.
Emily in Paris (2020)
oooooof bad television
Who do we blame for this? It's bad, bad, and bad. Stereotypical tripe... why is this main character/American so egocentric? If she's a social media expert, why does she take the worst photos? Who still does the duck-face and thinks it looks good? Lily is terrible as Emily, she is definitely an Audrey Hepburn rip-off... I wish I could find since redeeming qualities about the show but there isn't any... well, I take it back, the cinematography is great. It's a cringe-fest.
Space Force (2020)
Meh Force
Tremendously great cast and extremely high production values, it looks and feels like a hole-in-one. The cast make the very best of what they are given, but the scriptwriting just isn't there. It's humorous for the most part... sometimes funny but never laugh-out-loud. I wanted to laugh hard and that just never happened. It makes me wish they took the same cast, the same budget, the same beautifully shot footage but had a Taika Waititi script or direction. By the fourth episode I was just watching to see where the characters were going. It's okay.
The Dirt (2019)
it's great
I don't get all the negative reviews, the film's great. Never got the vibe this was a "Jackass with singing", as one reviewer said. It's fun, loud, and entertaining. Thumbs up!
Mandy (2018)
beautiful grindhouse madness
I loved this film: it's a slow burn, a gory madcap descent into one man's personal hell and back again. It's a great ride. I believe
the mainstream audience has a preconceived notion of what a good film should be, and that notion falls on a very small part of the entire film spectrum, and that's a shame. "Mandy" definitely does not fall within the mainstream acceptable levels of a "good film", thus the 1 stars. This is great filmmaking. I loved Hausu/House, Raw, Neon Demon, Antichrist... and this is right up the same alley. If you liked these films, watch "Mandy". And after watching this, I believe Panos Cosmatos would be perfect for a "Hellraiser" reboot. I cannot wait for his next project. Two thumbs up!
The Killer Robots! Crash and Burn (2016)
my mind exploded
Like the reviewer before, watch this movie at 4:20 pm... what can I say, it blew my mind.
Tons of amazing costumes, outstanding visuals, so many cheesy one- liners my brain hurt lol, and great characters. The music will probably become a cult classic by itself, it fits perfectly with the tone of the film. It's one of those movies that feels like you took an actual journey with the characters themselves... and ended up a better person at the conclusion.
Apparently they made this with no budget over 5 years, and if that's the case, it's incredible. Either they had some money or an extreme amount of time and dedication, either way... kudos for making the trippiest film I've seen since the Forbidden Zone.
So if you like B-rated science fiction/fantasy, check this out... you won't be disappointed. And it's totally a B-class film, in the likes of Dr. Who, Red Dwarf, and Manborg, so don't be expecting Star Wars or Transformers quality film-making.
But if you want to see something that will expand the limits of your imagination, check out "Killer Robots! Crash and Burn". This is independent film-making at it's finest, this is the type of movies we need more of. Sorry to end that sentence with a preposition.
Get the movie and a group of your friends, and watch this Saturday right around 4:19 pm... thank me later.
The Big Bang Theory (2007)
TBBT is TERRIBLE, watch "the IT Crowd"
It's bad. Really bad. Nothing in it is remotely funny, and I've watched six episodes. After watching four dismal episodes of The Big Bang Theory, I decided to watch both seasons of the hilarious "IT Crowd" again just to remind myself that nerds can be and are funny. Then after a few days I decided to give the show a chance again and watched the next two episodes, and then I had to quit, it's just way too painful.
I know this is a terribly written review but I wrote it fast because after watching TBBT I was just so angry this even passes for comedy. Bring back "the IT Crowd"... I'm pretty sure the creators of TBBT were fans of the IT Crowd and attempted to make their own version.
Forbidden Zone (1980)
amazing!
First of all, this film will separate viewers into two groups: either you get it or you don't, love it or hate it. For me I got it, and think it's one of the more amazing films I've seen in recent years. It's unabashedly weird, obscene, hilarious, and a musical masterpiece... I just can't get enough of this film! I've had to limit the number of times I watch this just because I don't want the experience to stale.
I'd recommend this musical to anyone with an off-kilter sense of humor who yearn to stretch the limits of what constitutes a "film". Every time I watch it I see something new.
There really isn't another film I could compare it to and give it justice, so I won't... but I love camp, British humor, and musicals so if you have similar tastes give it a shot.
And if you're one of the ones who love it, you'll be humming the tunes ("bim bam boom") and screening the "Forbidden Zone" with your friends!
Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)
This film had so much potential...
"Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon" by Scott Glosserman... wow. This film had so much potential and really had the makings of a cult classic (especially if you know the plot) but fell completely short. I just couldn't shake the feeling I was watching a student film. I really enjoy tongue-in-cheek and self-referential humor (a la "Scream") but the wit and irony in "Leslie Vernon" felt like it was being shoved down my throat. It's cleverness was just way too super-syrupy sweet... like listening to the dialogue of a Kevin Smith film. It reminded me of a little kid yelling "Mom! Mom! Look at me! Look what I did! Mom!" ("I'm a horror film! But a comedy! I'm clever! Look at me!") I thought the "look" of Leslie Vernon as the slasher was awesome! The doll image was very disturbing and I wish someone would make a real bonafide slasher film with that character. The actor who played Leslie Vernon was great and completely convincing, the actress who played the reporter/heroine was downright annoying. I think she must of mastered the "frantic double-take glance" move the week before in acting class. She does it so many times (to show the audience she's unsure and second-guessing her actions) you can start a drinking game with her. And in this day and age, even on a low budget, great slasher effects *can* be attained, just put your thinking caps on! There should be no excuse for shoddy effects!
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
Please don't argue the moot point...
"House of 1000 Corpses" by Rob Zombie is a great horror/comedy film, thought so the day I saw it in the movie theater. Please don't argue the moot point that it's a remake of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and therefore unoriginal... us horror aficionados realize it's a homage to cheesy 70s horror films and borrows heavily from many horror/slasher films from the past 30 years. It's still damn good and fine piece of film-making. To leave the audience with such a lasting impression of your main character that they remember your villain after the movie ends is a great feat... to make such an impression that the audience breathes life into that character every Halloween and costumed convention is amazing. Zombie did the latter with EVERY character in "House" which is almost unheard of... just say the names and you can picture the face: Otis, Baby, Captain Spaulding, Tiny, Mother Firefly, Dr. Satan, Grandpa, RJ... even Goober ("that's G. Ober"). Not as technically good as "Devil's Rejects" but truly a horror classic. If you think otherwise and want to discuss it with me, buy me a drink and get ready for the long haul.