Reviews

Having seen Beetlejuice and Edward Scissorhands, as well as knowing about other Tim Burton films (Nightmare Before Christmas, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Mars Attacks, etc.), you'd think going into a film such as this that not much could really put you off. Wrong. Despite how I rate it, this film is entirely watchable...maybe even two or three times compared to some other films out there. But, to me, it falls short on several fronts.

First, I'm a big-time reader and I thoroughly enjoyed Washington Irving's short story, "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow." So I was disappointed in that this film made more or less no attempt whatsoever to follow that story. In Irving's story, Ichabod Crane moves to the area and is a school teacher. In this movie, he is a constable sent from New York to investigate three murders by decapitation.

Second, part of the allure of the short story is Crane's infatuation with Katrina Van Tassel and the friction this causes between him and Katrina's would-be lover "Brom Bones" (Abraham van Brunt). The story alludes to the fact that perhaps the headless horseman is indeed Brom Bones scaring Crane (the Disney cartoon actually hints at this as well); the movie allows no such character interplay.

Third, the whole point of this movie seems to be the mindless decapitation of people. And there is a lot of it. A LOT. Men, women, and one child (though the child's decapitation takes place, thankfully, off-screen). And it is gory. Not a whole lot of blood, but plenty of flesh. If you're squeamish at all, that's a good enough reason to avoid this film.

Fourth, the evil character's recitation of motivation (a staple among Saturday morning cartoons from 20 years ago, but grossly out of place in a 21st Century movie) at the film's end is drivel. It could have been shortened, "figured out," and almost entirely left out -- although it did allow for one more beheading on camera. Whopee.

Fifth, the script (and acting) is pretty poor. Now, I like Johnny Depp (Edward Scissorhands, Pirates of the Caribbean, etc.) and I think the guy is great at playing unusual characters, but his performance here reminds me of an Al Gore speech. Because he's done so much so well, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and just blame the script. In fact, you can pretty much blame the script for the whole movie.

Not all is bad in this film. The swordplay by the horseman is excellent. The special effects are pretty well done (some are meant to make you laugh, but just come across as cheesy). And there is the neat bow-tie at the end as the villain gets it and the good guy goes home happy. Again, it's entirely watchable, just not that good.

God, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good posters or bad, why we posted or how we got to see these movies. No, all that matters is that we posted what we felt and believed, whether we were few or many. That's what's important. Honesty pleases you, God, so grant me this one request, grant me that Uwe Boll NEVER makes another movie! And if you do not listen, then the hell with you!

If you are really planning on watching this movie, run full speed into an immovable surface repeatedly until you are knocked unconscious. If you wake up and still have the desire to see this movie, repeat. Continue this process until the desire to see it has left you. It's for your own good.

I've now seen this 3 times (the first one many years ago and the third just a day ago from a rental) and felt that I could actually comment on it now. First, like most folks, I read the books (the first five) before I saw the movie. For those not familiar with the books, they are long, so it's no small wonder that this film cuts out quite a lot of it. But this is nothing new. You just can't fit 500 pages into 2 hours. Second, 80% of the movie is character interaction. That is, the reason the characters do what they do is because of things that have gone on before. Again, hard to do in 2 hours without boring your audience (something all too easy to do in a movie theatre or on network television). So now David Lynch tries to put together a movie that already has two strikes against it. In my opinion, he did a nice job. It is entirely possible to watch this movie and not really "miss" anything. The edge of the puzzle is jagged, but the picture in the middle is clear. Sure, the special effects don't stand up to today's CGI, but they were good for the time and still convey a sense of everything going on without being cheesy or forced.

In short, if you get the purist stick out of your butt, you can enjoy this movie. The characters were finely cast, the dialogue only catches your attention a couple times for sounding hokey (what movie doesn't?), and it is easy to suspend your disbelief and get caught up in it. It's not the best movie you'll ever see, but it's a long way from the worst.

By the way, if you haven't read the book (or books if you want to read the whole series), do so and you'll get a much better and lengthier look into the characters themselves.