Change Your Image
lynnwengland
Reviews
Eureka: In Too Deep (2012)
Jack=Jerk
Colin Ferguson directs himself? Is that like representing yourself in court? Operating on yourself? He did get one thing right: his character is an absolute jerk. He proves it over and over again with Zoe and was having to constantly apologize to her. In this episode he reveals his true self: misogynistic "Father Knows Best" wanna be. What does one thing does Allison ask for? Peace and quiet. But.....the little woman really doesn't know what she really wants, does she? No, she wants a romantic dinner with Mr. Perfect locked into a sub hundreds of feet below the surface. This ugly head rears again. Watch for it.
Eureka: Your Face or Mine (2009)
Awful
Ferguson is an over-acting hack. This ep proves he can't direct either.
Being Erica: Yes We Can (2009)
From intriguing to teen magazine, ugh!
What in the hell happened to this series? The first season Erica was taken back in time to re-live and sometimes even change all of the regretted moments from her past. It was funny, compelling, poignant and evening moving at times. Now it's just another boring soap opera. It's all about making a relationship work; dealing with an abusive, controlling brother-in-law; handling her bitchy boss, ad nausea. Where is the "Regret List"? It was several pages long. Each episode was about her going back to that certain period in her life and reliving it. It was high school, summer camp, college. All of which we (the audience) have experienced and therefore related to. This gutting of a wonderful, fresh, original concept happens so often in television series. The ratings start to sag and the suites try to broaden the demographic. If you would like to see a parallel try "Chuck". The same damn thing happened. Well done, another great series ruined.
Chuck: Chuck Versus the Suitcase (2010)
Chuck vs. the Soap Opera/chick flick
This is the point where I stopped watching this series. Here's the scenario: someone comes up with a new, quirky idea about a loser, Stanford drop-out who's ex roommate e-mails him the entire knowledge of the intelligence community for the last 50 years. He (Chuck) is recruited into the CIA by a beautiful, leggy blond. She and a hulky NSA agent "train" him. Then they go on spy missions. Chuck falls for the blond. Ratings have been ok but have started to drop. The suites panic and attempt to reach a wider demographic. In other words: "Draw the women in". This is accomplished by examining everyone's relationship; seeing who will say "I love you first" ad nausea. Wow! Another interesting series destroyed. Well done.
Tales from the Loop (2020)
Zzzzzzzzz.......
Artsy-crafty snail-paced dribble. I had to watch ice melt; a little girl taking a math test.....and on and on and on. Jodi Foster: your job is to tell a STORY; to INTEREST your audience. You just managed to BORE US TO TEARS. I lasted about twenty minutes and turned it OFF. I am sick to my back teeth of these pointless series. This is a complete waste of time. If your are looking for actually entertainment, try "Eureka" or "Warehouse 13".
Bomb Girls: Elements of Surprise (2012)
Yet another insult to American military uniforms.
Let me first say that I understand that no one will ever read this as this is a Canadian series done seven years ago. That said, here are some GLARING errors in this episode regards the US Army (WWII) uniforms and procedures portrayed:
1. James' Infantry Crossed Rifles are UPSIDE DOWN!
2. His rank insignia on his cap is crooked.
3. Potential US Army Officers go through Basic Training and Officer Candidate School prior to being commissioned.
4. Having completed training, new Officers are commissioned SECOND LTs, NOT First.
Good grief! With 50-60 thousand homeless American vets living on the street, couldn't you (at least) put a couple of them up for the night and feed them a hot meal so that they could advise you against this stupidity?
Grimm: The Seven Year Itch (2017)
Breaking News: Bugman loses his head to Hippogirl. Captain Psycho's spirit breaks out. Eve gets into cave drawing.
In one word, terrible! How ridiculous can this series get? What happened to Grimm's Fairy Tales? Those references (Little Red Riding Hood, The Three Bears, etc) we're charming. This absurdity was NOT! How can a vesen be an insect? When the Cicada voged, where did his clothes go? If he only is above ground for 24 hours every seven years, how could he have gotten so famous so to have a park named for him? Did news travel REALLY, REALLY fast in 1850? Isn't it against Vesen law to voge in front of non-vesen? Yet, Hippo Lady voged in front of two non-vesen anyway? Am I the only one confused about how Meisner used to have a German accent and now he's American? The vesen pawn broker "just" happen to have a spirit extracting steam punk machine is his shop? How convenient!
Grimm: The Grimm Who Stole Christmas (2014)
You've got to be kidding me!
Wow! I've just watched this for the third time and it's confirmed: that's just plain stupid! "So, there's a reason for fruitcake?" Children who turn into goblins during the 12 Days of Christmas ( which is ACTUALLY Christmas Day ant the 11 days afterwards) and wreak havoc on people's decorations because of an hormonal defect related to puberty? Masks and robes and vesen, oh my! Save the train! Save the train! So why do they stink only when Voged? I've worked in several middle schools and believe me, they stink ALL the time. Did the writers take Christmas off and leave their kids to write this one?
A Nutcracker Christmas (2016)
USMC: Unbelievably Sloppy Military Content
Why, oh why can't Canadian television EVER correctly portray the US Military? With somewhere between 35,000 and 50,000 homeless veterans on the streets of America, couldn't you at least hire a couple of Marines as "consultants"? They'd probably be happy with a hot meal and a warm place to sleep. They would tell you that:
1. Marines NEVER Salute indoors, EVER!
2. NO ONE makes Gunnery Sergeant (E-7) in eight years. Maybe twelve if they're a hard charger, but not eight. E-5 or possibly E-6,
but not E-7.
3. Dog tags are only worn in combat zones and there are two, not one. One is worn around the neck on a long chain and the other is attached to the long chain by a much shorter one. If you are killed, the short chain and tag are removed and collected/accounted for by a superior. The long chain and tag remain with the body for identification. You do not get to keep you dog tag(s) as a souvenir.
I realize this is a "Christmas" movie but the detail to this very untrained eye looked very authentic for "The Nutcracker". Couldn't you pay the same in respect for the US Military?
I'm Not Ready for Christmas (2015)
I'm Not Ready for Reality
Previous reviewers have pointed out the many, many flaws in this movie including the magic, color-changing skates, but there is one glaring flaw that has not been addressed: how Higher Education works. We are led to believe that a general music teacher in a elementary school would SUDDENLY be offered the Director of Bands position at a major university. First of all, he could not have near the credentials required for this position. Public school teachers most often have a BS in Music Education; rarely will you find someone with a higher degree. Trust me, I'm a retired elementary school counselor and music teacher. An MFA in conducting, PhD preferred would be the norm. Next there's that pesky "Equal Opportunity" thing. That government agency (EEO) demands equal access under the law and frowns upon the "good ol' boy/girl network. Lastly is that troubling ethics thing which in higher education requires a national search using advertising in profession journals and publications. After a review by the search committee, a few applicants would be invited to audition resulting in an offer made to the selectee. This process takes at least at least a year, not a few days.
Criminal Minds: Mirror Image (2016)
Who cares? Not me anymore.
I have followed this series from the beginning. I remember how the "unsub" was kept hidden with only fleeting glimpses of his/her face. We, the viewing audience, discovered the clues and built the "profile" along side the BAU. It was a challenge to see if one could get to the true identity of the bad guy/girl before the professionals. Each episode was all about the crime and the identity of the perp. Even when I would re-watch, knowing how it will end, I would still see details I had missed before. That is all in the past. During the last few years the emphasis has shifted from the "unsub" to all the personal problems and relationship issues of the cast. Aaron's divorce and being a single parent; JJ's martial strife; Spence's mom's schizophrenia; and now finally Dr. Lewis' dysfunctional family. The "unsub" is shown at the beginning committing the crime. I rated this episode a 1, not because I hated it but because I turned it off! I have also deleted it's timer from my DVR. Dear writing staff: Your ratings are in a tailspin because you have lost the focus of this once wonderful and awe-inspiring series. It is (or was) all about deduction and psychological profiles. If we, the viewing public, wanted a soap opera, we would watch daytime TV. Shame on you!
Warehouse 13: Fractures (2012)
Once more down the rabbit hole....
This is one of the best written episodes in this series. I truly enjoyed all of the "Alice in Wonderland" references ("I must not be late "; hookahs; "We're all mad here") as well as a very elegant nod (via the Ruby Slippers) to "The Wizard of Oz". The side stories about Artie and Vanessa's romance and the psychic connection between Claudia and Jinksy were very tastefully done, nicely avoiding becoming too smaltzy. This is a bittersweet milestone for us, the cult followers of this show. Sadly, the production staff and cast were informed about this time that they would only be getting six episodes in the coming (and last) year. Having been in many musical theatre productions in past years, I can attest that finding out your closing date makes doing the remaining shows very difficult indeed. If this is your first time through, look forward to several unique "takes" coming up.
Criminal Minds: Target Rich (2015)
Asinine Minds; Boring Minds; Predictable Minds
In my following of TV shows here on IMDb, I've found that as a series wanes in popularity, people do two things: trash the show with low ratings and/or stop writing reviews. With 11.7 we have both: no reviews (except mine), a whopping 6.2 rating and NO trivia or goofs. In short, people have ceased to care. I am sick and tired of the brave team rushing in at the last minute to find the victim being held at knife point/gun point/lighter point (after dosing with gasoline)/and anything else point to save the day usually by shooting the unsub squarely between the eyes. Having had to qualify on a 45 Colt semiautomatic, I can attest this is no small feat. Where is the episode arc that allows the viewer to learn the clues and seek out the unsub ALONG with the team? That format worked exceedingly well for TEN YEARS! Suddenly, now we know the bad guy/girl right from the start. Where's the mystery, the intrigue? More importantly, where's the directing and editing? for example: The victim's sister has a slight British accent, the victim a marked accent. Since they probably grew up in the same environment (I would surmise India), they would have similar speech patterns. Next, when the unsub is putting the dog collar on the victim, he puts the lock on the GUARD rather than threading the slot on the end of the collar through the obvious loop for it. This locked NOTHING! She could have easily just undone the collar and set her self free. I hope that Season 12 marks a return to tried and true formula. I don't blame Semar for leaving. I would have a long time ago.
Glee: New York (2011)
Do You Believe in Magic?
I don't. As someone who has spent 45 years in the performing arts, I can abso-bloomin-lootley tell you that flawless performances come from weeks and months of hard work and preparation. Yet here we are supposed to believe that a bunch of high school kids could "write" two songs and design intricate choreography over night and then go into a national competition? I DON'T THINK SO. It's preposterous for the writers to think we will buy the fact that a group would travel to NYC without a clue as to what they are actually going to do. "Winging" a national competition? It that were actually the case, they would have placed 50th, not 13th, and be laughed off the stage. This show had the potential to introduce it's target audience (teens) to the abundance of wonderful music and songs of which they are/were unaware. To some extent it did, but when they digressed to a salute to the ridiculous Justin Beiver it took a nose dive. Sadly, most of it's target audience has already heard his mindless dribble and through repetition, came to like it. We'll see what next season will bring. I hope that this stupid and boring teeny, extreme PC soap will turn around to showcasing the best of Broadway and Pop. Leave the repetitive eight bars over and over again to the mindless uninformed and sing REAL songs.
Night of the Wild (2015)
Beagles and Setters and Pugs, oh my!
No,no, no! The previous four reviewers have it all wrong. This wasn't a slasher-monster movie at all. It was, instead, a riotous comedy! I literally laughed all the way through. Mostly at the sheer stupidity of the writers and storyline, but some of the mad-dog moments were hilarious! When the two fluffy, white shi-poodles (or whatever they where) bit off their mistress' nose, I was in stitches. See, when Syfy makes an "original" movie or series, you have to expect dumb, pointless scripts and flat, awful acting. So sit back and yuck it up. If you want to grieve then we can go with Eureka and Warehouse 13, both of which were canceled in mid-season by Syfy.
Warehouse 13: Queen for a Day (2011)
Weddings and sisters and bees, oh my!
Watching this episode again really saddened me, but not for the obvious tear-jerking attempts of "Fairy Tale Weddings" and dead sisters. Last season, when ratings began to fall, the writers apparently tried to "broaden" the fan base by trying to appeal to women and middle- schoolers (Pete). It didn't work. This is yet another slip down that slope. The pilot was all about "Endless Wonder". What a perfect premise for a sci-fi series. Thousands of years of history and historical figures just waiting to be explored. It was simple but brilliant. Now, its weddings, ex-wives, making amends, sharing, supporting your partner, blah-blah-blah. I read one reviewer who said they had to go back and watch the first few episodes to remind themselves how great this series WAS. That is what is so depressing. The attention to detail was exquisite during the first year. Now, it is terrible. The mistakes in Marine uniform and protocol are so frankly BAD it would be tedious to try to list them all.
Star Trek: The Next Generation: Code of Honor (1987)
No! No! I want BAD actors, damnit!
Wow! Could this episode really have been THAT awful? I watched this series in real time back in the 80's but that was during my heavy drinking days when shows were filtered by a lovely alcohol haze. Watching this now (sober) was shocking. Where did Rodenberry get all of those awful, over-the-top Black actors? I've seen better (believable) acting in commercials. Reading the trivia and goofs, I found that the cast of TNG and other series agree. The racist overtones were embarrassing and very inappropriate. The script was just terrible. The story line stupid and the direction was even worse. So bad that the director was fired before completing the filming. Rightly so. Many of the cast called this the "worst" Star Trek ever filmed. I agree. Gene, what the hell were you thinking?
Fringe: 6B (2011)
Congrats: It's a soap opera....
This is one of many science fiction series I have watched via Netflix and Prime. Sadly, in the past two weeks, in a pathetic attempt to raise drooping ratings, it went from a quirky, interesting doppelganger parody to a sappy, dull and frankly stupid soap. Hello ladies, welcome! Get your tissue ready. We'll do our darn best to jerk those tears from you. Series like this that successfully strike a harmonious balance between science fiction and melodrama are renewed. Fringe does not. 6B, so cleverly hinted at by a license plate last week, tips the scales over to sap with FIVE relationships that take up most of the air time. Oh boo-hoo! I miss you-I love you-it's wonderful to have spent 45 years with the "One", ad nausea. I can only imagine what "romance" you will throw at us next week. Of course, science fiction (and also junk like this) have a limited audience. Just look at the horrible failures of Star Trek and Star Wars :-).
The X Files: Redux (1997)
Oh yeah, right!
I have to readily concur with other reviewers: this series is boring! We were supposed to believe that a principal (Mulder) killed himself? No one bought that Spock was dead either. I am only watching it due to the urging of two friends, one a doctoral level engineer and the other a computer scientist. I'm still waiting for something, ANYTHING! to grab my interest. So far, nothing. Perhaps this was exciting stuff 20 years ago but it just is not working in the 21st century. This particular episode contained so many voice-overs that it became down-right annoying. I could many times say the words with the actors it was so obvious. Many reviewers sing the praises of the acting abilities of the principals. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Having directed children's theatre, I can attest that I have had 6 year olds with better delivery and energy. Both of these two sound like they are reading aloud form the phone book. These "reviles" are so vague and contradictory (and repetitive)that I am getting ready to let this whole mess alone and leave it to the "X"-ites in their reliving of their respective childhoods. these is one pretty "reviling" aspect of these reviews: they "revile" an abhorrent lack of paying attention in composition class.
The X Files: Teso dos Bichos (1996)
Jaguars and tabbies and rats, oh my!
There's not much I can add to this already torpedoed mess of an episode except that apparently every stray cat in Vancouver finally found a home. The trivia states that the cats could not be made to attack our daring duo. Dare I suppose that the one that was seen hurdling through the air was picked up and thrown? Canadian SPCA: Alarm! Alarm! Maybe if the cats were made to watch this themselves they would have become angry enough to pounce, it sure got my fur up. Most of the reviewers posted thoughtful, in depth analysis of this terrible episode. Some even warned the viewing public away. I wish I had read the reviews first. My friends tell me this series gets better. I hope so. I can't imagine how it could get any worse. Where do I submit my form to get my 45 minutes back?
The X Files: Grotesque (1996)
And now, back to boring.
Just when I though that this silly, pointless and completely unbelievable "spooky" series found it's direction in "spoofs", it turns 180 around to "scary" music, "scary" scenes and "scary" camera angles. After the two wonderful episodes that poked great fun at 1950's science fiction and Teen slasher movies , it's back to ho-hum. Are we really supposed to believe that highly trained FBI forensic investigators somehow missed looking behind the charcoal drawings in the perp's digs? That only the great Mulder can glean such hidden mysteries? I guess I don't "get" it as some reviewers have stated. I was looking for entertainment, not a sedative. My Literature Professor would lecture on about themes and story line. I thought this had a theme and story line but it seems to be lost, AGAIN. Did Mulder just forget about his missing sister or his murdered father? How about Scully's murdered sister? Where is Mr. X? Where is the story line? Oh, wait a second, I've "got" it now. This is another spoof. It's having a go at "Close Encounters of the Third Kind". Gargoyle-possessed humans strive to draw, sculpt or build the "perfect" gargoyle: "is this right?"..."Does this look right"? I dozed off and didn't finish so how did it end? Did gargoyle/humans trek to South Dakota to gaze lovingly up at a "miss-tear-ee-us" Lincoln-transformed-into-a-gargoyle (no, wait, he already looked like that. It must have been Jefferson) Mount Rushmore? Did they pair up, fall in love and move to Toronto, decorate every square inch of lawn, wall and flooring with Halloween stuff beginning in late August? Then replace everything with Christmas stuff on November 1st? Have two kids, a dog and live out the Canadian dream? Real sorry I missed that.
The X Files: The Walk (1995)
Present....Arms!!! Ops, sorry about that.
Contrary to the other "reviewers", this episode was absolutely awful. There were so many US Army uniform and protocol/procedure violations it would be too tedious to list all of them. So many that it became distracting. Two of the grossest are Captain Draper wearing Infantry Branch insignia (there are no females in Combat Arms) and the charge nurse, who is middle aged, wearing 1st. LT. bars, meaning she joined the Army at 45 or she was such a screw-up she was never promoted in 20 years? The acting was flat and monotone. The 2 star sounded like he was reading aloud from a Betty Crocker cookbook. Medical rehabilitation is done in VA hospitals, not in Army hospitals. Generals do not command hospitals, Colonels do. The out-of-body premise was frankly stupid and completely unbelievable. And that corny dialogue: "She has no family...(dramatic pause)...the Army was her family." You've got to be kidding me.
The X Files: Darkness Falls (1994)
Attack of the killer, glowing aphids
I actually "watched" this series in real time back in the 90's. However, that was during my heavy drinking days so I don't remember much. (It took me a week to watch a rented movie.) So now I'm going back through the eps sober due to the urging of many friends, several of whom are scientists. I miss the alcohol haze that fooled me into liking this show. I thought this was a show about extra-terrestrials and government cover-ups. The eps that cover those topics were great! The MOTW crap is more boring than NCIS. Flat delivery of lines, expressionless faces and dull story lines coupled with extremely slow plot progression put me to sleep. I have read many reviews that say it gets better in season 2. I surely hope so.
Warehouse 13: Emily Lake (2011)
Suspend reality. It has no place here.
This story line makes absolutely no sense. Sykes is the only threat to the warehouse. If the mission is to eliminate this threat, the undercover agent would have made contact with Jane as soon as he located Sykes. Sykes would have been taken out along with his undead lieutenant and his computer geek with the awful accent. Jinks lives. Threat gone. Janus coin remains safe and sound in the Regent's Vault. HG happily live out her new life teaching English and cleaning the cat's box in Nowhere, Wyoming. Case closed. All of this other frankly stupid moves to find out Sykes' end game are pointless. His "end game" would not have mattered once Sykes was taken. What the hell was wrong with the "artifact-of-the-week"? It was working just fine.
Warehouse 13: Merge with Caution (2010)
XXOO, XXOO, XXOO ad nausea....
This is the episode where WH13 falls down the slippery slope of romance and becomes yet another stupid, mushy soap opera. Or a Swizzle opera (did you see the brand name, AGAIN?). Others have speculated that the writers and producers on other shows turned to the dark side to bolster ratings (lure in the women-folk). This is exactly what RUINED "Eureka" and "Grimm". Ironically, both of those shows and this one came out of NBC-Universal. Those of us that enjoy science fiction (and have actually READ Wells, Verne, Poe, etc.)watch shows like this for just that, SCIENCE FICTION, not romance. If I wanted that, I would watch the Hallmark Channel which is currently running Christmas movies in July. I know this is falling on deaf ears, but no one gives a rat's a*s about finding true love, getting married and living the Canadian dream.