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Reviews
Caliovas (2022)
Someone had an old doll collection and made a movie with them
Just like the review title says this is nothing more than a very creepy series of recorded images of dolls and old children's toys with some extremely bizarre and disturbing dialogue. I sat through every frame of this wishing I were on LSD so it might make some sense. Instead it left me confused as to how a writer / director would attempt to make a movie without the main components, (moving imagery and some sort of plot or story.) This film lacked both. Instead it was a mystifying and disturbing microscope into the minds of the people who created this work (of art?)
Was it good, was it bad? My opinion is that it means to be some sort of art. Art is not always meant to be pretty or understood.
Paper Girls (2022)
Girls coming of age under extreme circumstances
First, this is not a kids show, the topics covered are very adult and the way these 4 young ladies handle themselves is exemplary considering the situation they find themselves in. It's not about delivering papers. What I liked most about this show was that the story gave each Girl a fairly well rounded character. How each character handles their plight and their feelings is a marvel to observe. The young actors were exceptional and I expect they will all become super famous in other acting roles. The show is about time travel and what happens when you mess with time. I really hope the 2nd season is in development. I will watch it for sure. Only reason I didn't give it 10 stars was there was too much swearing in the dialogue to be realistic for 12 year old girls.
Hunting Ava Bravo (2022)
Predictable but preventable
Ava is a strong female lead for this movie. She's a survivor, but she failed to execute her captor right at the beginning when she could have. She had all the control and failed to use it, instead we moviegoers had to suffer the full 78 minutes of the back and forth between Ava and her Captor. Had it been me, I would have killed the guy right at the beginning, and headed south or east not north. A person can survive in the coldest of winters if they know how. She would have had all the tools needed to do so. I guess she had to let him live so she could be chased more. Also a Billionaire would have had communications devices like a satellite phone. Billionaire's don't make bad bets. Over-all not a completely horrible movie, but the plot was hard to take and the characters were underdeveloped.
Neon Lights (2022)
Slow,Confusing and Seemingly about nothing
The main character is clearly having a psychopathic break. I'm not sure if the Kim Coates character is even a real person or if it is some manifestation of the main guy's mind. Either way the plot is unsurprising, the Acting however was just fine. It's the story that needed work. This is one of those movies that you watch hoping it will get better, but it never does.
The Unhealer (2020)
Better than most quasi-horror sci-fi flics
Anyone who has been bullied can relate to the main character. You hope so much that people will just be nice, but "boys will be boys". The plot is believable enough for a paranormal sci-fi picture. The characters are somewhat better than the typical,standard fare small town high school kids and law enforcement. Will our protagonist ever get some peace from his torment? He just might.
Mondo Hollywoodland (2019)
Hard pass for soft Plot
This movie wanted to be interesting, it wanted to be edgy and whimsical. However it failed. The characters were each somewhat interesting or would have been had there been any semblance of a plot. I would not recommend this movie to anyone who likes traditional movies. I might recommend it to someone tripping on drugs.
The New Mutants (2020)
Maisie can't carry this one.
The movie begins rather mysteriously with the "unknown" origin of Dandy's power. But within moments we figure it out. The other supporting cast is fair but underdeveloped. We just don't get to see enough of a plot or character development to care for these poor kids.
Loved the actors, not the accents and the story could have used some plot twists or some sort of antagonist we would believe. There was no emotional cause here.
I liked the movie fairly well but there were so many things wrong with it, I cannot rate it better than a 2*
I've Got Issues (2019)
Despair personified,
This film has little if any plot other than to show a bunch of people caught in the mundane ritual of asking why? There is seemingly no character development. Everyone in this film portrays a loser in life, each one with their own question of "what do I do next?" The sewer alien adds zero value to the already painfully slow series of stories. I could not finish the movie even with any hope that it might get better. You know how sometimes we watch movies with that hope? Not gonna happen here. I guess the actors were brilliant because the point of the movie was to show boring people doing sad,stupid or boring things that we sort of all do. If I could give this film a negative rating I would.
Astro (2018)
Some other dog, Not the Jetson's dog
This movie is confusing, poorly written and badly edited and I wish it could have been better. A movie should tell a story, this story is so incongruent as to baffle even the most imaginative viewer. The story is about a billionaire right? No! it's about some ex-special forces guy who gets healed by aliens after being cut down in some middle eastern firefight. He's got a daughter who's gorgeous and actually does a fair job in her role. The fight scenes are fairly well choreographed the billionaire's son is a psychopathic freak, The main character speaks with a foreign accent yet his brother does not. The captive alien has his DNA but it's never properly explained how. The big boobed alien chick is visually spectacular but we never get to see her topless so don't wish for it. This movie goes on and on about secret societies, aliens living amongst us, transfer of technology... blah blah blah and until I was nauseated.