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Reviews
The Boogeyman (2023)
Why is it so hard to get Stephen King right?!
Stephen King provides such incredible and frightening material and yet, time and again, filmmakers get it so wrong. This is yet another example. Apparently houses are soundproof, characters investigate instead of cry for help, leave vulnerable characters alone, characters go it alone and, my personal favorite, have cell phones inhand but never properly use them. So many overused tropes and those are just a few. The direction is lazy and unoriginal. I spent most of this film rolling my eyes. If you're a true horror fan, this will NOT do it for you. You'll be bored twenty minutes in. Don't waste your time.
Un cuento perfecto (2023)
Should have been called A Frustrating Story
Im all for creating unique romcoms but this one just took a frustrating turn. When the world is hard enough in which to find your person and then these two actually do, they spend the majority of the film talking themselves OUT of being with each other. It's beyond frustrating to watch and I find myself just getting angrier and angrier.
Also, why she would choose the stagnant man child who does zero growing throughout the entire film and kicks up a fuss over a stupid shirt is beyond me.
I'm just glad it was only 5 episodes. By the fifth I was ready to call it quits.
I will give them props for the gorgeous locations.
The Days (2023)
Riveting and frustrating all at once
The series kept me interested just enough to continue with all eight episodes but it also kept me yelling at my TV whenever the characters gawked, moved slowly, stared aimlessly, walked instead of ran, paused for no reason, and um'ed and uh'ed whenever they were asked a question. I was going out of my mind at the sheer stupidity. Oh, there's a giant tsunami wave coming? Let's stare at it for a really really long time. We're standing in a heavily radioactive area, let's walk out of the area. I think we were meant to feel this sense of frustration because of how absolutely bumbling the entire process was surrounding Fukushima. That or Director, Tsai Ming-liang is really terrible at pacing.
Slasher (2016)
A poor man's American Horror Story
I'm currently watching season 4. The acting is atrocious and so many of the lines are just utterly ridiculous. The attempt at making the old father into a younger version of himself comes out bizarre and creepy.
Cinderella (2021)
Just annoying
I actually fast forwarded through most of this because it was just grating on my soul. The only good things about this movie were Idina Menzel and Minnie Driver. I did enjoy the step sisters but felt they were under used. These remakes are just getting sad. Stop. Please. Seriously just STOP.
Black Summer (2019)
Don't shoot for the head
Fun zombie series but apparently made in a world where zombie films have never existed. EVERYONE knows that you need a head shot to kill them but NO ONE in this series seems to know this and it is the most frustrating thing to watch. I'm not sure why the writers decided to negate this.
Little Women (2019)
Little Women, Little Magic
Watching this film, it was hard not to compare it to the 1994 version. There were so many similarities that it made me wonder, what was the point of this remake? There are so many period novels that have yet to grace the silver screen. This version, though, full of talented actors, felt forced and yet lacking at the same time. It did not possess the beautiful soundtrack that James Horner provided within its predecessor -- this version's soundtrack was entirely forgettable. The odd dancing scene between Ronan and Chalamet seemed more like two actors playing than two characters acting appropriately. And Beth's death scene was completely lost (did they move her body from the room while Jo slept? How odd). To this day, I can't hold back the tears as Claire Danes takes her last breath, as Beth. The younger generation needs to realize that films existed before they were born and discover the amazing talents within these movies and Hollywood needs to stop remaking films and create new.
Locke & Key (2020)
"Look" and key
The storyline is interesting but there are so many inconsistencies that it's become annoying. *SPOILER ALERT* the mom gets shot in the leg but has no physical repercussions only a few months later. The music box only works when the person turns the key but Kinsey takes it back from Gabe to control Eden and doesn't turn the key. Also, she tells Tyler to sit his mouth and somehow that means he can't breath truth his nose? And the amount of moments where the actors waste so much time just looking at things for way too long is beyond frustrating. I can't tell you how many times I yelled at the TV at that idiocy. It's the lamest way to create tension. My biggest beef was when Duncan makes the demon key. He had the power to make it into anything and trick Gabe because it's based on his intention. Instead he makes exactly what Gabe asked for.
The writing of this show isn't great and they clearly didn't rewatch their work. I love Joe Hill but this is not his greatest.
Dracula (2020)
Get a better make up artist
Johnny's mask started to come off during interrogation. That ruined it for me.
Spinning Out (2020)
Sub-Par
It's an interesting plot but I couldn't get over the underwhelming skating and the very obvious stunt double for Kat. The most talented skaters were the children. I will say Amanda Zhou as the best friend steals the entire series. They should have centered the series around her and her issues. Cutting Edge already exists.