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Naked Tango (1990)
Too much 'naked', not enough 'tango'...
Among other things, 'Naked Tango' suffers from a poor central story idea. Stephanie (Mathilda May) a young woman in an apparently loveless marriage of convenience to a much older judge (Fernando Rey) finds herself on a honeymoon cruise and meets a young woman named Alba who commits suicide by diving overboard. Seeing a way free from the boring bonds of wedlock, Stephanie assumes Alba's identity and is ultimately duped into involuntary servitude in an Argentinian tango parlor/whorehouse. While in Argentina, Stephanie meets and is captivated by Cholo (Vincent D'Onofrio who is so covered in cheesy eye make-up a la Duran Duran, he looks more clownish than commanding) a master of tango and apparently the master in what becomes a laughably implausible S&M tinged 'relationship' between Stephanie/Alba and Cholo. There's plenty of nudity and violence and sex and precious little of the tango that supposedly inspired this film.
The film is visually striking, sophisticated in its use of color and Milena Canonero's costumes and has some marvelously atmospheric and moody sets. But like D'Onofrio's later films 'The Cell' and 'Chelsea Walls', the 'pretty picture' factor and the artsy lensing are not enough to sustain a whole 92 minutes (which is what the longest version of this film available for home viewing, on a Japanese laser disc and not on either the Canadian or European VHS tapes) of total viewer involvement. This film runs like a super-long music video, only without enough music or dancing to make it an *engaging* super-long music video.
If all you care about is seeing May's character naked or D'Onofrio's character having rough sex with May, you won't be disappointed. But fans of D'Onofrio's *acting* ability or the *tango* are going to feel shortchanged because there is so little of both for them to experience (although what little is there is interesting). It's too bad 'Naked Tango' is such a tease, because it could have been as fascinating and mysteriously erotic as Rudolph Valentino in the tiny clip of 'The Four Horseman Of The Apocalypse' that appears early in 'Naked Tango'...the sex and violence and nudity are boring sidetracks from the dancing and the unexplored sides of Cholo's shady but intriguing Buenos Aires of the 1920s, where the really magnetically interesting story lies as submerged and abandoned as the real Alba's body.
This film is only recommended for its eye candy, not it's ability to substantially feed your yearnings for a good and imaginative story.
The Break-Up (2006)
If you're a D'Onofrio or Bateman fan, wait for this to come to home video...
Vincent D'Onofrio's only got 4 scenes in this. They add up to maybe 10 minutes of the film. His scenes are decent, amusing, quirky as his fans have come to expect from him, but nothing particularly outstanding in his long career of solid performances. There's no rush to lay out $5-$10 to see 'The Break-Up', just have NetFlix ship it to you in a couple of months.
Jason Bateman is fantastic as Riggleman the real estate agent. He's perfectly smarmy and subtle and amusing. Too bad there isn't more of him in this film Everyone else is pretty much a disappointment...what I want to know is if you're not allowed to connect to the alleged romance (you never really see any PDA (physical display of affection) or signs of affection and tenderness between them until it's a foregone conclusion that their 'relationship' is history) between Brooke and Gary, how could you possibly *care* about their breaking up? Vince Vaughn's a huge disappointment (he was great in 'Thumbsucker', so if you're not familiar with that film, go rent it instead). As always Jennifer Aniston did *nada* for me -- I still don't get her appeal so I can't recommend something else she's done (sorry, you're on your own here Jen fans).