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Road House (2024)
Kicking Up Dust: A nostalgic mistep
The neon lights flicker back on for a reboot of everyone's favorite bouncer flick, Road House. This 2024 rendition throws punches with some impressive fight choreography, but struggles to capture the magic of the original.
Jake Gyllenhaal steps into Dalton's shoes, but the role feels like a well-worn pair of boots compared to Patrick Swayze's effortless swagger. While Gyllenhaal delivers a decent performance, it lacks the spark that made Swayze's Dalton iconic.
Throwing us headfirst into the action, the narrative struggles to keep pace feeling more interested in fight sequences than building a compelling story. On the other hand, despite its cheesiness, the original had a heart that's missing here.
The casting choices have also stirred the pot among fans. Let's just say a quick internet search might raise some eyebrows for those unfamiliar with the lead actors' past controversies. Adding insult to injury, Hollywood's recent trend of regurgitating past successes feels a bit like a cinematic game of whack-a-mole. While nostalgia can be a powerful tool, audiences crave fresh ideas and stories!
Looking for the Real Deal? Ditch the reboot and revisit the 1989 classic. It's a bonafide cult film with quotable lines, unforgettable characters (hello, Brad Wesley!), and a hefty dose of 80s nostalgia.
My Verdict: this 2024 remake might entertain fans of action flicks, but it's a pale imitation of the original. If you're looking for a truly satisfying Road House experience, revisit the 1989 version.
Saturday Night Live: Josh Brolin/Ariana Grande (2024)
Mikey Day's cold open fell flat
So, this weekend's SNL cold open had Mikey Day donning the Biden suit, and let's just say, it's been a bit of a miss. It's like, we get it, he's trying to nail those Biden quirks, but it's not quite hitting the mark, especially when you stack it up against Jim Carrey's take. Carrey brought that rubber-faced, high-energy vibe that just made you want to tune in. He had this way of going big without going overboard, you know?
Now, I gotta say, SNL has been feeling a bit like that one diner you used to love because it was open all night and the fries were great, but lately, the fries are just... okay. And that's kind of where SNL is at. It's like comfort food that's lost a bit of its flavor.
And speaking of flavor, remember Mad TV? Man, that show was like the spicier, edgier cousin that wasn't afraid to push the envelope. It had this raw, almost underground comedy club feel that SNL has always seemed to shy away from. Mad TV was dishing out sketches that were bold, unapologetic, and honestly, just plain funnier on a more consistent basis.
It's like SNL has been cruising on its legacy for a while now, banking on its history of legends and iconic moments. But if we're keeping it real, Mad TV was the one that kept you guessing and coming back for more. It's a shame it didn't get the same spotlight because, in the head-to-head for laughs, Mad TV was landing punches while SNL was pulling them.
So, yeah, SNL's got its moments, but it's like that band you loved in high school that's still touring on their greatest hits. You'll go see them for the nostalgia, but you're not expecting any new chart-toppers. And Mikey Day's Biden? Well, let's just say we're all waiting for SNL to find its next hit character that can really bring down the house.
Beacon 23 (2023)
A Glimmering Sci-Fi Gem Worth Your Time
In the vast expanse of television, new shows constantly vie for attention, many failing to leave a lasting impression. Yet, tucked away amidst the noise lies a beacon of captivating storytelling: Beacon 23. This sci-fi series, while boasting a slow burn, offers a rewarding journey for viewers who appreciate intricate character development and an expertly crafted narrative.
Despite its initial lack of critical acclaim, Beacon 23 deserves recognition for its compelling narrative, anchored by two stellar performances. Lena Headey delivers a nuanced portrayal of Asteria, a hardened government agent haunted by her past, while Natasha Mumba shines as Harmony, a sophisticated personal AI with a distinct personality and surprising depth. Their contrasting personalities and shared sense of isolation create a captivating dynamic that drives the story forward.
While some may find the initial episodes slow-paced, it's this deliberate pacing that allows the writers to meticulously build the world of Beacon 23 and delve into the complexities of its characters. The show's strength lies in its ability to weave together suspenseful plot twists with moments of heartfelt reflection, creating a deeply immersive experience.
Although some viewers may find the lack of instant gratification off-putting, those who persevere will be rewarded with an intellectually stimulating and emotionally resonant experience. Beacon 23 is a slow burn, but its embers glow with the promise of a truly remarkable story. For those seeking a sci-fi show that goes beyond mere entertainment, Beacon 23 is a shining beacon worth exploring for those seeking a truly unique and thought-provoking viewing experience!
Lego Masters: Bricks & All (2023)
A Recycled Brickpile
Lego Masters, the show that once captivated audiences with its creativity and construction prowess, has descended into a pit of recycled content with this latest episode, a supposed "new" offering, being nothing more than a shameless collection of reruns.
Instead of the anticipated excitement of new challenges and innovative builds, viewers were subjected to a parade of past creations. Each segment felt like a slap in the face, a reminder of the show's past glories and its present descent into mediocrity.
The forced attempts at commentary from the hosts did little to elevate the experience. Their strained enthusiasm could barely mask the gaping void left by the absence of original content. It was a painful reminder of what Lego Masters once was and what it has become.
One can only wonder what compels the producers to resort to such blatant filler. Are they struggling to generate new ideas? Have the creative wellsprings run dry? Whatever the reason, the result is a slapdash episode that insults the intelligence of viewers and cheapens the once-respected Lego Masters brand.
It is a shame that this episode would be considered "new" content. The lack of originality is a betrayal to the show's loyal fans who crave fresh challenges and innovative builds. Lego Masters has become a shadow of its former self, a hollow shell filled with recycled content and devoid of the spark that once made it so special.
This episode is a missed opportunity and a poor excuse for entertainment. It serves as a stark reminder of the dangers of complacency and the need for constant innovation. Lego Masters has a long way to go if it hopes to reclaim its former glory. In the meantime, viewers are left with a hollow feeling of disappointment and a sense that the magic of Lego Masters has faded away.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)
Poor Voice Casting Betrays Nostalgia in Super Mario Movie's Flat Performance
This new Super Mario movie has been highly anticipated by fans of the beloved Nintendo game franchise, but unfortunately, the decision to cast Pratt as the voice of Mario has resulted in a major misstep that seriously detracted from the overall quality of the film.
Pratt's lack of experience as a voice actor was immediately apparent showing in his subpar performance, and his attempt to portray the iconic character fell flat. Not only did he fail to capture the charm and personality of the character, but his voice simply did not match the image of Mario that fans have come to know and love. It's disappointing, to say the least, that Pratt made no effort to emulate Mario's iconic voice, instead sounding like his usual Chris Pratt self throughout the entire film.
To add insult to injury, the decision to cast Pratt over the original and much-beloved voice actor of Mario, Charles Martinet, was a grave mistake because of how Martinet's voice has become synonymous with the character, so his absence was undoubtedly felt throughout the entire film.
While the film itself had its moments, the poor casting decision regarding the voice of Mario was simply too much to overlook. To say I was left feeling disappointed and robbed of the nostalgia factor I had been hoping for is putting it lightly.
Overall, the Super Mario movie was a missed opportunity to pay homage to the original game and its loyal fanbase. Had Nintendo chosen to cast Martinet as Mario, the film may have been able to capture the magic of the game and deliver a truly memorable experience for both new and old fans alike.
The Good Doctor: Second Chances and Past Regrets (2023)
After all the good takes this show had, this episode they advocated against disclosure with your partner
This show always struck me as a great form of advocacy for many modern social issues plaguing us today... but this episode took a dark turn from that which left me scratching my head.
In this episode, two characters in a relationship are conflicted because one of the two did not disclose being HIV positive and the other just found out after they've been together for quite a while now. The show then has other characters comforting the HIV positive person saying they have nothing to feel bad about because they're undetectable. The show then tries to advocate for hiding HIV status from a sexual partner, so long as you're undetectable.
Having been diagnosed with HIV myself, this is the most irresponsible thing I've ever seen these show runners do. Fact of the matter is that while being undetectable means there is a MINIMAL risk of transmitting the disease, there is still a greater than 0% chance, and thus it is IMPERATIVE to disclose your HIV status if positive to anyone you have intercourse with, BEFORE you have intercourse.
They had an opportunity to advocate for he acceptance and normalization of HIV positive persons, but instead chose to advocate for being dishonest and hiding such an important thing that your sexual partners have the right to know.
I sincerely hope this topic receives more attention from the community pointing out how inappropriate this is.
The Simpsons: Hostile Kirk Place (2023)
Laughing in the Face of Political Polarization: Faux News Tell Comedy while their Comedians Tell the News
Great job to the show runners for presenting a satirical, Simpsons-esque perspective on the pressing issues that currently divide us as a nation. At a time when one political party is actively promoting policies that seem to erode human rights, including the legalization of child labor/marriage and a general disdain for those who are different, meanwhile the other party is striving to offer free education, healthcare, and a 4-day work week, this show is more important than ever.
By utilizing humor to highlight the absurdity of these political positions, the show brings attention to the critical need for social awareness and political engagement. In an era of increased polarization, it is crucial that we continue to have access to thought-provoking media that challenges us to question the world around us and to stand up for what we believe in.
Kudos to the show runners for their astute commentary on the current state of our society and for using their platform to raise awareness and promote meaningful discourse.
The Terminal List (2022)
Chris Pratt's blank stare
Never gets old, hits me every time, that same deer in the headlights look on his face he has in every movie he's in. Extra star for action but it's nothing new.
Goliath: Hadleyville (2021)
I don't understand anything that's happening
The entire episode is nothing like the first 3 seasons, it makes me feel like some freshmen interns wanted to make their artistic cinematography debut while having never seen the first three seasons of this show.
It's all some weird dream that throws you all over from scene to scene, sometimes shot to shot, weird background noises that made me fast forward to get past his cinematically useless walking scene for him to get to a bar.
I have absolutely no idea what is going on after finishing the episode and I'm not happy, I feel like I just wasted 45 minutes of my life. Nothing about this episode progressed the story for me.
I Care a Lot (2020)
Who thought this was a good idea? Had great potential but worst ending ever
The main character is a woman who preys on and steals from old people, trapping them in "'care' facilities" and cutting them off from all calls to the outside world while she milks them for every penny they gave... she somehow takes on part of a mafia and actually gets the best of the them in the most highly unlikely and improbable fashion.
I cannot even begin to tell how disappointing this was... I wish I read the reviews and saved myself the time because it really boils my blood seeing someone who takes advantage of seniors be so successful
She (2020)
Horrible acting
Lead actress is entitled, she can't even act well. Just another example of netflix throwing as much crap at the wall they can to see what sticks
Last Man Standing (2011)
Republican fantasyland on TV
Besides the terrible political agenda, the jokes are terrible and the acting is even worse, and what are these writers thinking with the logic on this show... What does this guy do at his desk at home all day that his home office for everyone to come in there to talk to him with his stereotypical alt-right-nut gun racks and cabinets that show how much he's over compensating for something? This garbage was cancelled for good reason and inevitably will be cancelled again.
In Enemy Hands (2004)
Scott cann ruined it
His bad acting and dbag personality just tanked this movie for me
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
Adam driver ruined this movie
I don't understand why this guy is in Hollywood, he's not that great of an actor and frankly ruins any movie he's in...
If Bill had a better costar, this film would be amazing.
See You Yesterday (2019)
Lack of an ending ruined the movie
There's nothing I hate more than a movie with no ending...
If that's what you're into, you'll love this movie.
Last Man Standing (2011)
Republican fantasyland on TV
Besides the terrible political agenda, the jokes are terrible and the acting is even worse, and what are these writers thinking with the logic on this show... What does this guy do at his desk at home all day that his home office for everyone to come in there to talk to him with his stereotypical alt-right-nut gun racks and cabinets that show how much he's over compensating for something? This garbage was cancelled for good reason and inevitably will be cancelled again.
Hellboy (2019)
Nothing similar to the first two movies
Different actors, different director and writers, why is this even a sequel?
The Directive (2019)
Don't waste your time watching this
This movie is so horrible, I had to fast forward through most of it.
25 minutes in and the kid is just playing with his imaginary friends in a junk yard...
1 hour 35 minutes in and he's wandered around with a robot in his backpack. Why is the robot breathing so heavy anyway? They should have used an actual computer voice, it's hilarious how bad it is...
The movie summary tells you the entire movie; the robot lies, it's not a safe zone when he gets there, he walks around coughing for 7 minutes... Even funnier, it reminded me of how silly the NPCs in the division are and hey surprise a division agent finds the kid at the end and saves him
Last Man Standing (2011)
Republican fantasyland on TV
Besides the terrible political agenda, the jokes are terrible and the acting is even worse, and what are these writers thinking with the logic on this show... What does this guy do at his desk at home all day that his home office for everyone to come in there to talk to him with his stereotypical alt-right-nut gun racks and cabinets that show how much he's over compensating for something? This garbage was cancelled for good reason and inevitably will be cancelled again.
Rainbow Man (2014)
The cast tells you everything you need to know
I didn't even know such garbage movies like this one exsisted.
IO (2019)
Beware: this is a love story, NOT sci-fi
Why does nutflx throw so much crap at the wall to see what sticks? They should try quality over quantity...
The story moves at a glacial pace and is a poorly written love story, how they got away with calling this sci-fi is beyond me.
2 characters play the whole movie, the entire cast is composed of 5 people, only 3 of which you see.
The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)
Andrew Garfield ruined these movies
The title says it all. Spiderman is a great story, but this terrible actor right along with that toby whatever his name is both ruined these movies
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)
Andrew Garfield ruined these movies
What more can I say? Terrible actor ruins an otherwise great story. I'm no fan of that Toby either...
Escape Plan 2: Hades (2018)
Didn't expect it to be this bad
The endless sponsor banners that consumed the first two minutes of the movie should have told me everything I needed to know about this flick.
Horrible writing in a corny attempt to have as many unnecessary fight scenes as possible... Save yourself the aggravation and watch something else
Take Two (2018)
A commercial with bad acting and terrible jokes
This show is so terrible, I created an account just to say something. Within the first moments of the show you're shown the most obvious product placement ads and some ditzy girl who's supposed to be a cop? Where's quality control to get this crap off the air when you need it