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Underground (2011)
Not a horrible watch but not the best.
Typical horror/survival movie, a bunch of young folk trapped in an underground army base, facing zombie like creatures, with super human powers. This "Sitting Duck " cast is an attractive lot. But they are void of any real acting skills and the script is no help what so ever. Of course they wander through darkness, argue with one another and no horror movie would be complete without the "Hey! Lets Split Up" routine, that never works in any fright film. Now the good news is, the movie is made very well and there are some interesting moments and very professional camera work. So Underground turns out to be a cut above ground, give it a watch. It reminded me a bit of "Descent" only not half as good.
Serpentine Dance: Loïe Fuller (1897)
Early Example Of Music Hall Performers.
Thank god this early piece of cinema was preserved. And glad to see such an early performance by The legendary Little Tich (Harry Relph) in the only existing film recording of his interpretation of the famed "serpentine dancer" Loie Fuller.
I'm so glad to see that someone took the time and effort not to locate this magic piece of celluloid, but also to put it up on You Tube for all to look at, but for film historians like myself to explore and study.
This is a fine example of an early British Music Hall performances that are now totally forgotten by the mass public. So glad to see this piece of history preserved.
Cycle Psycho (1973)
I finally Found It!
I have for years now, been looking for that one film. That special film. The one that killed the "Biker Film" genre. Ladies and Gentleman and bikers everywhere. I have found it! It goes by the happy little title of "Savage Abduction" But let me tell you, my leather and denim clad buddies, there is nothing savage in or about this film. The only savages where the writer, director and producers who decided to release this and charge patrons for it's viewing.
Very little to do with bikers, biker gangs and the "Ride Free, Ride hard" attitude. There are no 1% riders here. What we are left with is mostly a bad psychological mess with a wealthy homicidal maniac, with an Oedipus complex who likes to torture and kill young, pretty women. They should have just turned this into a slasher film, and taken the whole notion of bikers out of it. It would have worked better that way.
Whe are given 3 tough hombres who are supposed to be a "Biker Gang". These guys would not be allowed in tricycle, little less less REAL motorcycle gang. They huff and puff and try to act as if they were the real deal. They're dirty, bearded and have poor manners. That is supposed to convey a biker to the general public. But the closes they have ever been to a real biker gang is when they all sat together and saw a documentary on the Hell's Angels on TV. they could'not punch their way out of a wet paper bag.
The abducted girls are your typical dumb, cute and sexy 17 year old critters that always seem to either be in the wrong place at the wrong time, or just make stupid choices in life. Like try to hitchhike and accept a ride from two derelict's who pull up on choppers. Where do they think they will be taken to? Starbucks for a latte? A church ice cream social? No you stupid bimbo's. To their lair for a bit of fun at your expense. But even this is sad. There is no fun at the pen.
There is nothing here. No Biker bar Fights, No sexual assault of the two nubile birds, No Nudity, No drunken orgies, No terrorizing of the towns folk, No cool bad Rock music in the background. Nothing from the stereotypical biker films of the past that we have all come to not only enjoy, but expect. Nothing at all.
We are all left with fairly good acting wasted on very poor lighting, bad writing, and none of the joys of rebelling against the man. What a waste of celluloid. I can see why after 1972 only a handful of biker films where made. All dying after 1975.
Only nudity and drunkenness would and could have saved this film. Even a second audio commentary by Joe Bob Briggs would have saved this DVD. But we get nothing at all. Why they are missing is anyones guess. They would have savagely helped this turkey.
Jailbait (2000)
So bad...It's beyond belief!
I got this pitiful movie on Net-Flix under the disguise of it being an Edward D. Wood Jr. 1954 classic...It was not! Ed baby would have saved this film. It has to rank amongst the worst piesces of garbage I have ever been subjected to. Ed would have given this film camp, and comedy. there is nothing to laugh about here. It was 94 minutes out of my life that no one will ever give back. Don't bother and don't be fooled on Net-Flix. This is NOT and Ed Wood movie by any stretch of your imagination. Get the other classic Ed movies, and avoid this teen crap at all cost. You won't find it funny. You'll just feel sad for these actors and this sorry script. What a waste of film. My mother (82 years young) could have done better.