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Remember Me (I) (2010)
3/10
I won't remember you. Cause I really don't want to.
4 June 2010
Warning: Spoilers
"Remember Me", is a story of soon-to-be 22 Tyler (played by Robert Paterson) who's as undecided about his college major as about his life.

Sleep-walking through the New York City of 2001, reminiscing about his dead brother (who took his life at 22), Tyler looks for a way to act out his teenage angst overlapping into his early 20's. Smoking excessively can only get you so far… It just so happens, that one night, he comes across a street fight, in which he cannot help getting involved in. As the police arrives at the scene, simply dispersing BOTH the attackers and the assaulted, Tyler lives up to his rebelliousness and questions the Sergeants decision (played by Chris Copper) which leads to a night in jail.

Soon after, thanks to divine providence, he finds out that the cop's daughter, Ally, (portrayed by Emillie de Raven) goes to the same school and pushed by a friend (played by Tate Ellington) becomes romantically involved with her so she can be later dumped as a way to pay for her father's injustice.

As Ally and Taylor get closer to each other, it turns they have a lot more in common than they ever expected. Tragic events, over and under protective fathers, apparently make for a long-lasting relationship, where Taylor's over impulsive reactions to his emotionally distanced father (played by the book by Pierce Brosnan) becomes the movie's main attraction / struggle. It's a chance for Patterson to look menacing, mumble away words, and use his sharp tongue. Miss playing Edward much? Patterson tries to pull of "Rebel without a cause" with a hint of "The Catcher in the Rye" thought the entire film. It works sporadically, as with the bowl-ashtray scene that completes the room, but mainly – it's a miss. Although the bond that he has with his 11-year old sister (played by the gifted child actress Ruby Jerins), who's as lost as he is – just at a different stage of her life, helped me endure the film's remains.

I'll even dare to say that her performance outmatches Patterson's. She won me over with screen truthfulness.

Not since Woody Allen's "Manhattan" has New York gotten such a personal treatment, where it shapes its residents existence. It's a very down to earth look, that's doesn't take away the attention from the movie's plot. In fact – it enhances it. It felt as if someone shot the film in my backyard.

Because New York is a city of opportunity, it would make sense that this young man, who's struggling with his direction if life, finds himself in the city that other flocks to in order to find meaning.

Remember Me, could have been much more effective as a mini-series. And considering the director's experience in that field, it clearly shows the route he took while shooting was misfitting. Breaking down the story into vignettes instead of cramming it all together would have allowed for more attention, thought and consideration.

I thought that this movie would be a golden opportunity to take out all the Twilight puns, but the ending disarmed me completely… No build up. No foreshadowing. No reason for it to be there. Allen Coulter, I hope you'll spend the following weeks repenting for your "twist" ending… You've turned a national tragedy into a cheap, popcorn-indulging, filler.

Did the whole idea of mourning had to be brought down to the "on-screen sacrifice"? That death, somehow, makes the people left behind appreciate each other more? Ugh.
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8/10
Pixar, watch your back, Dreamworks is sneaking up.
4 June 2010
"How To Train Your Dragon"- A guide to successful domestication. Or a really awkward title for a porn film.

As with most films, I went with certain expectations, but all of them, were exceeded as the ending credits rolled out... and made me head down to the nearby adoption center, in hopes of finding a baby dragon. No luck.

Dreamwork's latest film is directed by Dean DeBlois & Chris Sanders and written by Cresida Cowell, is voice cast by such stars as Jay Baruchel, Gerard Butler, America Ferrara, Craig Ferguson.

The premise?

In a mythical land, where Vikings favorite pastime activity is hunting fire-spitting pests, dragons, a muscle-ridden teenager by the name of Hiccup (voice by Jay Baruchel) tries to constantly „make a mark" on the 300 year old war with little or no success. Actually, with no success at all.

Until one day, he get's lucky, and catches the most feared dragon of all, Night Fury, „the unholy offspring of lightning and death", and an unlikely friendship develops.

What seemed to be playing with fire, turns out to be more like sitting next to it, and enjoying the warmth. As Hiccup is forced into How-to-kill-a-dragon 101, he realizes that „all they know about them is wrong". Unfortunately, his father Stoick, (voiced perfectly by Gerard Butler) does not share his approach...

„How to Train your Dragon" is an animated film, full of heart, with a healthy emotional dose, stitched together with thrilling aerial sequences, that put 3D to it's best use – it puts you, where the action is. And, what's a rare trend in animated films, the film is practically pop-culture free.

The character designs don't disappoint, but also don't thrill... That is until you see the dragons. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head. Give them a twist a flick of the wrist, That's what the showman said... Sorry…

The Dragon's design heavily reflects their personalities - a bumble-bee like dragon is a bit slow on the uptake, while a sleek-designed dragon, like Night Fury, is fast and smart, kinda like a heat-seeking missile). Also, what I really liked about them, is that eventually they turn out to have pet-like behavior. They like being scratched on the back, they get high on blades of grass and if you share a fish with them, they'll love you forever.

The entire voice cast is a perfect fit for the film's characters. Gerard Butler, with his overpowering, hoarse, deep-throat voice, goes perfectly with Stoick's over-muscular statuesque (Sparta is proud of you!) Jay Baruchel is AMAZING! His voice acting gives Hiccup so much credibility as a boy with unlimited fervor but limited by his surroundings. And then we also have Craig Ferguson voicing Gobber, the village's blacksmith who has a blanket-like quality to his voice – warm & fuzzy. And there are many more talented voice cameos, who carry themselves quite well throughout the film.

You can just tell, that Dreamworks tried Pixar's approach... They gave the story a lot of thought and consideration. Like it would be their first and last animated film for which they'd be remembered. Show, don't tell – it's that simple. „Up" did it, so can you!

One bad thing is, that the film seems a bit sequel-ready. No need for future installments to ruin the charm of the first one. Remember "Shrek"?

You will not burn yourself on „How To Train Your Dragon". Instead you will be pleasantly meant with warmth and understanding, that we can all coexist with each other.

Pixar, watch your back, Dreamworks is sneaking up.
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7/10
Has an aftertaste of a teen comedy, that was forced into adulthood, and got seasoned with old-school charm.
4 June 2010
The year is 2010, and four loser friends decide to reclaim their youth (or at least its illusion) through a night of drinking and partying... in a hot tub. But they get more than they bargained for – they accidentally go back in time to 1986. In a country where the threat of leg warmers, cassette players and rolled up sleeves is as real as it'll ever get...

HOT TUB TIME MACHINE, directed by Steve Pink and written by Josh Heald, will be perceive by many, as this year's The Hangover. And there are many good reasons for that flattering comparison.

The film engages the viewer really fast, and never falls pray to stagnation – the story is always on the move, but never in sprint. Pink's years of working in the film business, be it as a writer, producer, or director, turned out to be invaluable experience before taking on this zany story.

We have four friends, who are fed-up with how their lives turned out, but when given a chance to fix them, they don't embrace it at first – they fear it. The years of regret have done their job. And a warning about screwing up the future by messing with the past from the Hot Tub Mechanic (played by Chevy Chase) doesn't help either.

That whole panorama of issues, dreams-confronting-reality, wants and desires, are really strong tools in connecting with the viewer – it's like reaching out to the darkest corners of his or her souls and tickling them. Although it does sometimes border close on sexual harassment... That especially applies to Lou, played by Rob Corddry. Jerk, dick, asshole – he accepts all those titles with great honor and dignity, and will make the best of his stay in ‚86 (ever heard of Luogle?).

The leads, are a bit of an odd pick...But then again, I do forget this film does not take itself seriously. So, we have John Cusack, Rob Corddy, Craig Robinson, Clark Duke (who?) and Chevy Chase. Although Chevy Chave, isn't really here to display his comedic skills. He serves more as the film's patron, re-assuring the viewers with his presence, that it's a legit comedy, that carries his stamp of approval.

Oh! Question! What do you do with a film full of one-liners, carefully tailored for individual needs? Answer - Believable delivery, that's what.

John Cusack, playing Adam - the voice of reason in the film (at least in the beginning) falls behind the rest performance wise. He's funny – yes, but there's not much zest to it. Also, his acting career, began in the 80's, where he ruled the hearts of teenage girls, and gained approval of their parents. This could have been a golden opportunity, to simply poke fun at it, call it homage if you want – all is fair in a film entitled „Hot Tub Time Machine". In this case, his place could have been easily taken by some other established actor, let's say, Matthew Broderick, and no one would tell the difference.

And then we also have Craig Robinson, who might not be in The Office setting, but sure is in Office mode.

And who could forget Clark Duke? Wait. Who is he? ... Anyway, moving on.

To wrap up, the film is an all-you-can-eat-buffet of 80's but it's served to us on such a level, that it makes it safe for people unfamiliar with that time period, yet nostalgic enough for those who lived through it, and lived to tell the tale.

"Hot Tub Time Machine" has an aftertaste of a teen comedy, that was forced into adulthood, and got seasoned with old-school charm. Don't argue with me... just go see it.
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After.Life (2009)
"After. Life" is not just good as it's synopsis.
4 June 2010
"After.Life" is Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vooslo's feature-film debut, starring Christina Ricci, Justin Long and Liam Neeson in a deliberation on what happens to us after we die.

I will admit, my expectations for "After.Life" were in the low… I was considering something along the lines of "I Know Who Killed Me", with a better cast. At least the trailer made it seem that way. Oh, how wrong I was. Dead wrong.

Anna (played by Christina Ricci) is a schoolteacher who finds herself with an open head wound on a dissecting table where Elliot (Liam Neeson), a mortician, informs her in a formal tone that she died during a car accident. Anna's disbelief and denial follow immediately. It's not the kind of news you hear everyday. Questions pop-up. Is she suffering from a mental disease, some personality disorder or maybe there is no rational explanation for the occurring events - it is what it is? In other words: WHAT IS GOING ON? The intrigue has a strong grip on the audience…. More than a horror film, it's a psychological drama with a supernatural theme to it, although it manages to divert in a bad direction on occasion (the heart-pulling scene is as horror cliché as it gets).

Neeson gives Elliot a priest-like treatment. He's a man with a great work ethic, utter respect for the dead, and blessed/cursed with a gift. He can talk to the deceased. Throughout the days that he prepares Anna's body for her funeral, he tries to help her cope with her death. Unfortunately for him, she doesn't buy into his views and attempts to escape and contact her fiancé (Justin Long), who, because of her death, is in a fever-like state, where he starts to questions his sanity.

I would say that this is Neeson's most memorable performance in a while. It just has such… resonance.

We all know that Christina Ricci isn't the best actress around in Hollywood, very flavorless, but in this case, by draining the life out of the role she, coincidentally, makes it work. I guess the director did the best with what she had to work with. Also the fact that she was willing to stay half-nude throughout a considerable amount of time on screen must have made her most desirable as a corpse from a producer's point of view.

The film doesn't indulge on the visuals; rather, it keeps everything on the minimum—just enough to keep you shivering. The eerie music is certainly a strong tool that ads on to the feel of heighten reality.

Luckily, "After. Life" is not just good as it's synopsis. Sure, the film takes elements from various horror films, but it puts them to a really good use. It builds around them and evolves.
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Alice in Wonderland (I) (2010)
4/10
Full of unlikely characters, adventurous twists and dark undertones. Like a Tom Waits song.
4 June 2010
We're all familiar with the basic idea of „Alice in Wonderland", be it from the book itself, or it's various film and animated variations.

This time the acclaimed film director Tim Burton gave it a spin.

The story in a nutshell: girl is about to get engaged against her own will, girl follows an overgrown rabbit, falls into a hole, drinks a little, eats a little, grows a lot, gets branded as „DE Alice", meets a cat with a half-moon smile, threatens an evil Red Queen with her existence, has some tea with a Mad Hatter that looks a bit like Johnny Depp, meets the White Queen, and eventually cuts of the head (that's a very big thing there) of a Dragon-like monster. And gets home for dinner.

„Alice in Wonderland" seems like a Tom Waits song that came to life. Full of unlikely characters, adventurous twists and dark undertones. Hell, I'm surprised he didn't stared in the damn' thing.

But even thought „Alice..." amazes us with it's boundless Burthonesque creations (the CGI is top-notch) it misses the secret ingredient... the directing. Instead we get 3D! I could not shake the feeling that the story was heavily rushed, like someone would hastily flipped the pages of the book itself just to see what the ending is like. And in the process, stopped on the more interesting parts, with character introductions of Cheshire Cat voiced by Stepfen Cry (that's one cat you cannot simply please with milk & tuna), Blue Carterpillar, voiced by Alan Rickan of Profesor Snype fame (that smoking will be the end of you) or Mad Hatter (played by the audience-favorite Johnny Depp) who's a happy-sad mad-man, with amazing dancing skills.

Alice, played by Mia Wasikowska, gives a very bleak, dull & doubtful performance. From beginning to start of her journey in Wonderland, she shows no signs of amazement, deeply believing it's all a dream. Is that what happened to Wasikowska herself? She couldn't believe she was cast as Alice, and didn't know what to do with it? Seems so.

If Alice holds the story together as it's MAIN PROTAGONIST it is the Red Queen (played by Helena Bonham Carter) and the Mad Hatter that keep it interesting. They're both trying to outmatch each other in who can be most WHACK but still most believable in the WHACKNESS. I mean, as much as you can think „believable" in Wonderland.

The Red Queen seems to have a lot on her head, and clearly doesn't want too many heads to be around („Off with his head" is her signature catchphrase). And the Mad Hatter is just trying to stick to the remains of his sanity. Luckily, there's not much of it.

There's one scene in „Alice in Wonderland" that made me hold on to my seat a bit tighter... It wasn't the Epic-size battle, or the chase by the over-sized cat-like creature. It was something more... subtle.

It was when Alice, after a bit of a struggle, opens the small door that leads her to Wonderland. I could not stop thinking of a similar scene, where a girl by the name of Dorothy, after „landing" her house, opens up it's door and walks into a scenery of vivid, over-saturated color...

Sadly, „Alice in Wonderland" is not „The Wizard of Oz". It is a miscalculation, where the amazing cast, latest technology, and a film director who's gone mad, turned out to be no match for Lewis Carroll's novel. Maybe some musical numbers would have done the trick?
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Cop Out (2010)
5/10
Kevin Smith DELIVERS. But not an original, but a mash-up of bygone originals.
4 June 2010
„Cop Out", directed by Kevin Smith BUT not written by him, which is a first, is an attempt to revive the well-worn out genre of buddy-cop movies, which had it's prime back in the 80's.

The story revolves around two cops, Jimmy Monroe (played by Bruce Willis) and Paul Hodges (played by Tracy Morgan) who after an unsuccessful operation are suspended from the service for 30 days, without pay. For Jimmy, that's a big no, since he's about to give his daughter away and the wedding isn't gonna be cheap. So he decides to sell the most valuable possession he owns – a vintage baseball card. Unfortunately, the card gets stolen, and Jimmy and his partner need to track down the thief, and deal with a baseball-obsessed Mexican gangster, who happens to come along for the ride. Or should I say home run?

Kevin Smith DELIVERS. But not an original, but a mash-up of bygone originals. WHOMAGE, as Paul would say.

Although it's not Smith's source material it's heavenly dialogue-driven, dipped in wry, bawdy humor, and most unusual characters... (the biggest car thief in Brooklyn is... below the age of 12?). Smith's mark is all over it.

Willis and Morgan, make a most believable cop duo, with marriage-like behavior, craving's each other attention (at least on one side) and a fondest for the good cop, bad cop interrogating technique being taken to completely another level.

I will admit, If ever would find myself interrogated, I sure hope it would be done Tracy Morgan-style. Film-influenced police interrogation seems like the best way to spend an afternoon.

For Willis, this film seems like another day in the office. That is, office of hard-boiled cops, who end up on the police chief's carpet on a weekly basis, and go beyond the police handbook, like it would be a rule written in it itself. He doesn't really have to pull a muscle, or be thorough with his character. It's a repeat. A love-hate relationship with his job, divorced wife, loving daughter... can you guess the rest?

Tracy Morgan, the Eddie Murphy of our times (when he still could make us laugh and not cry), gives somewhat of a „30-Rock" performance. There's not much to it. He's loud, obnoxious and a bit slow on the uptake. I mean, he clearly is the film's driving force but does he really ADD something from himself to the character? Something that truly sets him apart from other on screen cop partners? Not more than the script demands. Although his obsession with his wife cheating on him was promising... but that's where it stayed. On promises.

The story is very concise from beginning to end and filled with tattooed Mexican gangsters to our hearts content. They put the scary in MECHICO. Who else is ruthless enough to kill someone by throwing baseball's at them?

The biggest surprise of the film, turns out to be the illegitimate child of comedy, Seann William Scott, playing Dave, a constantly drugged up park-our performer/thief, who's the weirdest of all the weird's in the film. His favorite activities include: 'knock, knock' jokes, echoing people to the verge of frenzy and most notably, answering nature's call in the house's he breaks into.

He made my chuckle turn into laughter.

Two more things:

First. Music. It's an 80's time warp, from the "Beverly Hills Cop"-famed composer, Harold Faltermeyer. Lot's of kitschy syncs, with electro hints. Instead of bringing out the roots of the genre, I think the score got in the way…

And second. The font. I could not help to think, since the minute I laid eyes on it, that it was a last-minute pick. The ugliest film font of in a while
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7/10
Let's be pushed to the edge! Of semi-disappointment.
4 June 2010
Warning: Spoilers
A starry night, reflecting itself in the pitch-black river somewhere in Massachusetts (where everything's illegal), from which, three human corpses go afloat.

Hide your police badge, memorize some catch-phrases, develop a thirst for Ginger Ale, and let's be pushed to the edge... Of semi-disappointment.

„Edge of Darkness" is a remake of the British mini-series by the same title, and it revolves around Thomas Craven (played by Mel Gibson) a homicide detective of the Boston police, and a father who learns to care about his child a couple years too late.

Same could be said about Gibson's acting, which hasn't been much practiced in the last 8 years.

Craven's daughter is killed on the steps of his house, right as she's about to confide a work-related secret to her father. And soon after she becomes somewhat of a Craven's POP-UP hallucination SPAM… it's like one of the writers added this while the other one wasn't looking.

The police immediately assumes that the actual target of the killing was Craven himself. But with faint evidence (or rather assumptions of them) he moves past that scenario and like a hound dog, sets of to find the people responsible for the killing.

Don't the killers know any better? You don't kill/kidnap the only child of a man who's fully-capable of shoving down your throat a carton of radioactive milk, while he's bleeding to death. It ends badly. For the killers/kidnappers that is. Haven't they seen "Taken" or "Live Free Die Hard"? There were warnings!

By the way, I think this is best and worst publicity milk ever got on film. The ‚Got milk?' ad campaigners must be licking their milk mustaches with envy.

Mel Gibson's character is being given a helping hand in the investigation, by Jedburgh (played by British actor, Ray Winstone) who's job is to clean up the mess, while huffing and puffing (open your mouth?) with breaks for washing down pills with alcohol. Now that's living on the edge... of unhealthy habits!

There's nothing amazing, outside the standards of the thriller genre in this film. It's all played on very familiar tones: death of a loved one - check, appetite for revenge - check, unveiling a BIG government conspiracy – make it several - check. And obviously a fair amount of shooting, punch throwing and gut kicking – Triple check.

As far as Gibson, this is just a shadow of the former, ACTOR, Gibson we all used to know so well (going all the way back to „Lethal Weapon" and ending on the most recent „Signs"). One thing I reckon everybody will notice, is that he AGED dramatically. Luckily, same as with 3D films, your aware of that for just the first 10-15 minutes... Then it's back to the movie.

„Edge of Darkness" is a welcomed comeback of Gibson as an actor. It's enjoyable but not memorable.
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The Hexer (2001)
2/10
A dead loss, to the fantasy genre.
14 August 2008
When just days before the film's premiere, its screenwriter backs out of the project, and demands his name to be removed from the credits, you know that this does not bode well.

The books, on which "Wiedzmin" is based on, have great potential for a vivacious fantasy film – "Geralt de Rivia is a witcher; his sole purpose is to destroy the monsters that plague the world. But not everything monstrous-looking is evil, and not everything fair is good…" But all that didn't matter, when a polish film crew, with a low budget, and no, or little appreciation for Sapkowski's work, decided to make a 13-part mini-series out of it. The two-hour film is a by-product of their actions, to maximize the profits.

It's not hard to point out in this case, what makes people label this film as bad. Plot (incoherent, thanks to cramming it with too many stories), acting (below average, with exception of Zebrowski), dialogues (bland), editing (choppy), special effects (unbearable) and choreography (poor), add up to the film's overall bad experience. Only the soundtrack, done by Grzegorz Ciechowski, brings out the beauty of the world of "Wiedzmin", which was never brought to the screen. Even Poland's grandiose flora and fauna (where part of "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" was shot), a crucial element in almost ANY fantasy film, were not used up to their full potential. The more I think about this dead loss, the more I'm running out of words. At least, it's a comfort to know, that Marek Brodzki, the director of "Wiedzmin", has directed only one film ever since (in addition, in Germany).

For now, we're left with top-notch fantasy stories and a fantastic computer RPG (released in 2007) referring to the Wiedzmin books. But I'm sure that one day, justice will be done for the Wiedzmin saga, and we'll be treated with an equally good film adaptation soon enough.
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