The Muppet Movie (1979)
Mel Brooks: Professor Max Krassman
Photos
Quotes
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[Professor Max Krassman has just put Kermit in the electronic beanie]
Miss Piggy : [desperate] Please! Please! Not my frog, please!
Max Krassman : Say goodbye to your frog, pig!
Miss Piggy : Why should I?
Max Krassman : Because in 10 seconds, he won't know *you* from kosher bacon.
Miss Piggy : [furious] That does it!
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Max Krassman : It is important to remember that you have to hold on to your hat.
Doc Hopper : What for?
Max Krassman : When a German scientist tells you to hold on to your hat, it's not casual conversation. HOLD ON TO YOUR HAT! HAT! HOLD!
[Doc Hopper grabs his hat brim]
Max Krassman : Good.
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Doc Hopper : I'll be back later to pick up what's left of the frog.
Max Krassman : What's left of the frog? You can have everything - excuse the brain!
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[explaining his machine]
Max Krassman : We take your friend, the little F-O-R-G, put him in the chair, clamp on the terminals, drop the electronic "yarmulke," and then throw what we call in German - THE SVITCH!
[laughs]
Max Krassman : Yes, my friend, soon it'll be a hot time in the old skull tonight!
[turns off the switch]
Max Krassman : Thank you, Herr Machine.
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Max Krassman : What the heck's going on here? A pig that goes bananas? What is this, a luau?
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[putting Kermit in the machine]
Max Krassman : Oh, will you stop whimpering? Go out like a frog, not a little toad. Okay, Herr Machine, this is big time! Ready to go to work? Hand clamps! Foot clamps!
[locks Kermit in]
Max Krassman : Ha, ha, ha, you can struggle all you want now, frog, it'll do you very little *good*! And now, it's time to drop the electronic beanie. Soon you'll have enough voltage coursing through your little frog brain to light up Cincinatti!
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Doc Hopper : [about Krassman's machine] What does it do?
Max Krassman : What does it do? What does it do? It turns the brains into guacamole!