- [his last words] I think I'll be more comfortable.
- Comics are a dime a dozen--good straight men are hard to find!
- [after pouring a bottle of beer over Bud Abbott's head] Now you look as wet as you act!
- I'm a wistful little guy, you know what I mean? I'm the underdog, the guy nobody pays much attention to until something happens to him. I'd be way out of place trying to play some guy like a big hero or something like that. I've been doing comedy for maybe 30 years now. People know what I look like and what kind of little guy I am. They wouldn't accept too much different from that, would they?
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