The Ambushers (1967)
Dean Martin: Matt Helm
Photos
Quotes
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[last lines]
Matt Helm : You know, there'll be times when you'll find yourself in a romantic situation with an enemy agent. Now, you've got to just let yourself go. You know, be soft and yielding. A little champagne.
Slaygirl : I don't drink.
Matt Helm : A little love.
Slaygirl : I don't drink.
Matt Helm : Well, soft lights and music - especially music. That'll do it every time. Eh, just relax and now you play close attention.
Slaygirl : You can count on me, sir.
Matt Helm : [Dean Martin's "Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime" plays on the stereo] Nice voice.
[moves in for a kiss]
Slaygirl : I'm sorry Mr. Helm. I guess I'm just not in the mood.
[Matt puts on the next record, which happens to be Frank Sinatra's "Strangers in the Night"]
Slaygirl : Oh, kiss me!
[long kiss]
Matt Helm : Do you really like Perry Como that much?
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[Matt is shown a new weapon which gives a whole new meaning to the term "bullet bra"]
Linda : It's not a gun, Mr. Helm. It's the new weapon they gave me, developed right here in our labs.
Matt Helm : Developed pretty well, too!
Linda : May I point out...
Matt Helm : You already do!
Linda : ...that that's why you're here. To become familiar with our latest equipment.
Matt Helm : You right. An agent should always keep *abreast* of the times!
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[Matt and Sheila are hiding on a mountain-top]
Matt Helm : We have a long wait ahead of us, so let's get comfortable.
[lies down on his back]
Sheila Sommers : [lying down on top of Matt] How comfortable?
Matt Helm : It's broad daylight!
Sheila Sommers : What's the matter with a broad in daylight?
[kiss]
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Jose Ortega : [toasting] Cheers! One hundred million up.
Francesca Madeiros : [also toasting] Skol!
Matt Helm : Sure it's cold. It's got ice in it.
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Francesca Madeiros : How about a good luck kiss?
Matt Helm : Well, I am superstitious myself.
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Courier Slaygirl : Long distance call for you, Mr. Helm. Hop aboard.
Courier Slaygirl : [Matt sits himself down on the back of her scooter] I go pretty fast. Better find something to hang on to.
Matt Helm : [Matt knowingly looks at the camera] Crazy.
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Sheila Sommers : [naked in bed with Matt] Do you have a plan?
Matt Helm : Yeah.
Sheila Sommers : What is it?
Matt Helm : Oh, I wanna say it's gettin' a little chilly and I think that we should cuddle up together for warmth.
Sheila Sommers : Good plan. It might work. Matt, I am the old Sheila. You can depend on me. I won't disappoint you.
[kiss]
Matt Helm : You didn't.
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Francesca Madeiros : Now look, darling, now, I did something for you, you do something for me, huh?
Matt Helm : With pleasure!
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Francesca Madeiros : You knew he was in there, didn't you?
Matt Helm : I could hear his hot breath every time you moved.
Francesca Madeiros : Ah, I have that affect on some people.
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Matt Helm : You sure fooled a lot of people.
Sheila Sommers : *That* was the idea, Dr. Watson.
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Jose Ortega : The lady represents a rather well known organization. Maybe, you have heard it: the Bureau of International Government -n- Order. B-I-G-O.
Matt Helm : Big O?
Francesca Madeiros : BINGO!
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Matt Helm : [after giving Francesca a good luck kiss before she left] Don't say it. You may hate her guts, but, she's a pro.
Sheila Sommers : Whatever she's pro, I'm anti.
Matt Helm : Come on, anti.
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Matt Helm : Muss your hair up some. Smear some dirt on your face.
Francesca Madeiros : And then what?
Matt Helm : We'll play it by ear.
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Matt Helm : I'll remember you from the great beyond - somewhere around Steubenville, I hope.
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Matt Helm : Where are you from?
Francesca Madeiros : The bar.
Matt Helm : The bar...
[laughs]
Matt Helm : I got relatives there.
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Matt Helm : [passing each other] Hi!
Francesca Madeiros : A little.
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Matt Helm : You drugged me!
Francesca Madeiros : Just in case.
Matt Helm : [getting drowsy] How did you do that?
Francesca Madeiros : Oh, do you like my lipstick, darling? It's a special brand. There's a chemical that penetrates the skin.
Matt Helm : How 'bout your skin?
Francesca Madeiros : I just took the antidote.
[indicating the glass in her hand]
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Sheila Sommers : [referring to Francesca] You don't trust *her*, do you?
Matt Helm : I don't trust any woman.
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Matt Helm : [during gunfight] Now I know we're partners. We're trying to kill each other.
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Matt Helm : [referring to Francesca] Don't say it. You may hate her guts, but she's a pro.
Sheila Sommers : Whatever she's pro, I'm anti.
Matt Helm : Come on, Auntie.
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Sheila Sommers : Suspenders and a belt?
Matt Helm : Yeah, I have trouble keeping my pants up.
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Jose Ortega : How did you find me?
Nassim : The light of the gracious moon illumined my path. Also, I followed Mr. Helm.
Matt Helm : May a thousand tigers break every bone in your body.
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Matt Helm : What I always wanted, a magic bartender.
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Matt Helm : Let Helm put you in the driving seat.
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Lovey Kravezit : Mr. Helm, I just this second got here.
[Sees the masseuse]
Lovey Kravezit : Oh, am I interrupting anything?
Matt Helm : No, she's just a masseuse.
Lovey Kravezit : Ah.
[Camera tilts to Lovey's mini-dress]
Lovey Kravezit : I think I've got everything you want.
Matt Helm : Yeah!
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Matt Helm : Oh, eh, I have an appointment. My name is Helm.
Quintana's Secretary : Oh. Señor Helm? *Matt* Helm? Oh, Señor Quintana's expecting you. I have a collection of *all* of your photographs. Oh, you're fantastic. You seem to make a girl seem so... so beautiful, so... so exciting, so... so...
Matt Helm : Would you like to pose for me?
Quintana's Secretary : Oh... no.
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Sheila Sommers : Who's your friend?
Matt Helm : Oh, she invited me to her homeland: the Hôtel d'Cotez.
Sheila Sommers : When you honeymoon...
Matt Helm : The more the merrier.
Sheila Sommers : Okay, baby.
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Francesca Madeiros : They say he's a very interesting man.
Matt Helm : What's he do?
Francesca Madeiros : What does any interesting man do?
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Francesca Madeiros : You going to put me in your magazine?
Matt Helm : Right between the covers.
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Matt Helm : Why don't you hop in. I'll give you a lift.
Francesca Madeiros : Why?
Sheila Sommers : Cause you're a fun girl.
Matt Helm : Yeah, you're back on the team.
Francesca Madeiros : Partners again? I'm surprised you trust me.
Matt Helm : Well, you need us as much as we need you and you got the papers to get in there.
Francesca Madeiros : That's right. So, why do I need you?
Matt Helm : To get out. Now, get in.