Heartbreakers (2001)
Jason Lee: Jack Withrowe
Photos
Quotes
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Jack Withrowe : Hi. Can I get you a drink?
Page Conners : Wow! I've never heard that one before. You really blow me away with your creativity.
Jack Withrowe : Well, I...
Page Conners : "Well, I, uh..." Your recovery's even better! Do you even care at all who I am? I mean, I could be the Antichrist or have the intelligence of a thermos, but unfortunately *those* are not the matters the male penis ponders. So please tell me, why did you walk all the way over here to ask to get me a drink?
Jack Withrowe : Well, because - I'm the bartender.
Page Conners : Oh. Martini, very dry.
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Jack Withrowe : Tell me to my face you don't love me.
Page Conners : I don't love you.
Jack Withrowe : Wow. More believable than I thought it would be.
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Jack Withrowe : My car doesn't drive so well with a tree in it.
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Jack Withrowe : [on the phone] Why won't you talk to me?
Page Conners : [on the phone] Because there's nothing to say.
[Jack appears from behind "Jane's" car]
Jack Withrowe : Then why are you here?
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Page Conners : [on a deserted beach at night] You're not out here burying high school kids, are you?
Jack Withrowe : Well, they egged my car.
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Jack Withrowe : Look, I'm willing to explore the whole being dominated thing, okay? But let's just take it slow.
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Page Conners : You spy on people humping in boats? That's so perverted.
Jack Withrowe : No, I look at stars.
Page Conners : Look, just because they're famous doesn't mean they don't deserve their privacy too. Who ya got?
Jack Withrowe : The stars up there.
[points to sky]
Page Conners : You mean you come all the way out here to stare at space and shit?
Jack Withrowe : No, I come out here to get away from the lights of the city so I can SEE the space and shit.
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Page Conners : Look, just give it to me, or would you rather have my heel up your ass?
Jack Withrowe : Who told you I'm into that?
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Jack Withrowe : Isn't that the shoe you wanted to jam up my ass?
Page Conners : No, that was the 6" heel.
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Jack Withrowe : You *are* good. You may not know it, but I *do*. You come on tough, but it's all just an act. I mean, you don't even believe in sleeping together before marriage. You're like a Brady or an Osmond or something.
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Jack Withrowe : [excusing Page's volatile behavior] Everyone's a little irritable after they choke.
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Page Conners : [bursting into Jack's bar] I want my purse, jerk-off!
Jack Withrowe : That's not very friendly. Now, I want you to go back out, and this time, when you kick the door open, say something nice.
Page Conners : [standing firm] You stole my purse, dip-shit, and you stole it so I'd have to see your ugly-ass face again.
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Max Conners : Turning down a wedding gift is bad luck.
Jack Withrowe : Oh, I've never heard that before.
Max Conners : Sure, everything to do with weddings is bad luck.