The Whole Ten Yards (2004)
Kevin Pollak: Lazlo
Photos
Quotes
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Lazlo : You locked my son in the trunk?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : No! No, sir. He locked himself in there.
Lazlo : [pause] This I believe.
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Lazlo : You killed my Strabo.
Jimmy Tudeski : Actually, Strabonitz was already dead. He got shot when your hitter tried to shoot us.
Lazlo : [looks at Julie] Is this true?
Julie : Hey, Lazlo. Shit happens, all right?
Lazlo : Oh, yeah? Watch this shit happen.
[He grabs Jill's gun hand and shoots Julie]
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[Jimmy, Oz, and Cynthia are Lazlo's prisoners; Jill, outside, has Lazlo's son hostage]
Lazlo : [shouting] Where's my son?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : All right, that's it!
Cynthia : Oz...
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : No, I've had enough!
[suddenly tough]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : If you ever want to see your son again, you'll let us go right now.
Lazlo : Is that right?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Yeah, that's right! And if we're not out of here by 11:00, Jill's gonna put one in Strabo's forehead. Just like Jimmy put one in Janni's forehead. Oh... it wasn't pretty.
Lazlo : [enraged] Give me a gun.
Jimmy Tudeski : [impressed] Not bad, Oz.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Thanks.
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Lazlo : I want him dead. Yesterday! Before breakfast! Before eggs! Scrambled.
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Lazlo : What the fook are you assholes up to now?
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Lazlo : [in an attempt to kidnap Oz] Now you go in and you grab him. You go in and you grab him. Now what do you do?
Strabo : I go in and...
Lazlo : And grab him. Now what do you do?
Strabo : I go in and I grab him.
Lazlo : Piece of pie.
Strabo : No. It's cake.
Lazlo : What did I say?
Strabo : Pie.
Lazlo : And what did you say?
Strabo : Cake. No, pie.
Lazlo : Piece of pie.
Strabo : [gets out of car and looks back at Lazlo] It's cake.
[Lazlo back hand slaps him]
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Cynthia : How the hell do you know where my husband is?
Lazlo : That was simple: LuJack.
Cynthia : Lujack?
Lazlo : In the Poosche.
Strabo : No, Papa. It's... uh... You say LoJack.
[looks at Cynthia]
Strabo : See? LoJack.
Lazlo : I didn't quite hear.
Strabo : Oh. LoJack.
[Lazlo slaps Strabo]
Lazlo : Don't correct me. Don't ever correct me. Do you like getting hit, is that it? You're a freak who enjoys pain?
Strabo : Of course not.
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Jimmy Tudeski : [Talking to Lazlo while getting shot at] Did you hire a hitter?
Lazlo : I can't really remember. Why? Is somebody shooting at you?
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Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Would it be OK for me to ask you at this juncture who you are and what you're doing in my house?
[Lazlo's people start laughing at him]
Lazlo : I am flabbergasted!
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : I'm sorry?
Lazlo : Chagrined! That you don't see the resemblance in the facial structure!
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : [to Lazlo's boys] And you guys basically understand all of this?
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Lazlo : [after sending Strabo in to kidnap Oz, Lazlo later hears ambulance sirens going off and heading towards the builing] Why do I have a bad feeling about this?
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Lazlo : Los Angeles. How interesting. All right, we'll get going and cut them off at the piss.
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Lazlo : Put one in his head. Maybe that will make him remember.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : If Strabo puts one in my head, how am I gonna remember anything?
Lazlo : Shut up!
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : I'll try that then.
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Lazlo : Yermo. Zevo. We're driving to Mexico in 10 minutes. Stop drinking or you'll get an IUD.
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Lazlo : You want a slice of the pee?
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Lazlo : Your wife is in a safe...
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : My wife is in a safe?
Lazlo : Place! Safe place! Let me finish the sentence.
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Lazlo : Do you remember... Janni Gogolak?
[Oz bolts to his feet, Strabo punches him and shoves him back down]
Lazlo : Do you, or don't you...?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : What?
Lazlo : [shouts] Remember Janni?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Yes, I remember Janni!
Lazlo : Janni... was my son.
[Oz bolts to his feet again, Strabo punches him again and shoves him back down again]
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Now, Mr. Gogolak, I know what you're thinking.
Lazlo : Yes, you do?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : I think I do.
Lazlo : You're the Amazing Kreskin?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : You're thinking that I killed your son! I did not kill your son! Jimmy Tudeski killed your son!
Lazlo : [picks an ornament off the mantel] You know, I collect these.
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Really?
Lazlo : No.
[puts it back on the mantel]
Lazlo : Vere's Yimmy?
Nicholas 'Oz' Oseransky : Yimmy's dead... Jimmy's dead! They're both dead!
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Lazlo : [to Jimmy] Let me propose something... before you start the killing.