- Annie Lamm: You find an email address written on a napkin in her pants pocket. You "A": Confront her about it. "B": Throw out the address and see if she notices. Or "C": Forget about it, you trust her."
- Grandpa Donald: What's an email?
- Annie Lamm: Grandpa!
- Grandpa Donald: OK. Ummm, "C".
- Annie Lamm: Good answer!
- Annie Lamm: Grandpa, can I drive?
- Barney: You want to get us killed, kid?
- Annie Lamm: Oh, come on.
- Barney: What if a cop sees us? Or worse, your mother?
- Annie Lamm: There are only three cops on this Island, and they play paper football all day! I can do it.
- Barney: Driving a car is a little harder than a boat, Missy. And we all know how that turned out.
- Grandpa Donald: I don't know, Annie...
- Annie Lamm: OK... I guess when I'm your age I won't be able to tell my grandkids that my Grandpa taught me how to drive. It'll just be some random boyfriend instead.
- Barney: Captain, are you crazy?
- Grandpa Donald: Oh, don't get your panties all in a bunch. Live a little.
- Barney: I'd like to live a lot, that's the problem.
- Annie Lamm: Don't worry, Barney. I'm a good driver.
- Barney: I hope they spell my name right in the obituaries.
- Grandpa Donald: ...So Kennedy comes aboard the ship. He turns to me and says, "Officer, I need a guide." There I was, showing the future President around...
- Barney: Was this before or after you single-handedly foiled the bank robbery?
- Grandpa Donald: Way before. The bank robbery was in '78.
- Barney: Right, right. I've heard that one in my sleep.
- [first lines]
- Teacher: All right. When the bell rings, please don't run.
- [bell rings and the class stampedes]