- Buzz Lightyear: Not to worry. We're all right here. See, there's Woody, Pricklepants, Trixie, Rex... Wait, where's Potato Head?
- Mr. Pricklepants: And so it begins.
- [Thunder clap]
- Woody: Pricklepants, you're not helping!
- Trixie: It's been a while. I don't think she's coming back.
- Mr. Pricklepants: Patience. Cinematic structure dictates that it's always darkest...
- Mr. Potato Head: Can it, Pants! Life ain't a movie! They ain't never coming back!
- Rex: Look, they're coming back!
- Mr. Pricklepants: The roadside motel is one of the most common settings for a horror movie. Remote, isolated, ordinary. A quiet environment to alleviate the audience's expectations. I'll be expecting her to ask the inkeeper for the phone any minute now.
- Bonnie's Mom: Can we use your phone? Our car has a flat.
- Mr. Pricklepants: Right on cue.
- Combat Carl: When Combat Carl is in a jam, he says to himself, "Combat Carl never gives up. Combat Carl finds a way." Now say it!
- Jessie: Combat Carl never gives up...
- Combat Carl: You're not Combat Carl!
- Jessie: Oh! Jessie never gives up! Jessie finds a way!
- Buzz Lightyear: [while watching the movie] Tactics, Betsy, tactics. Find something to defend yourself with.
- [Betsy grabs a vase]
- Buzz Lightyear: There you go.
- Mr. Pricklepants: Completely uselsess! Everyone knows a stake through the heart is the only way to defeat a vampire.
- Jessie: Where are you going?
- Mr. Potato Head: We're at a motel. I'm checking out the amenities. You know, the free stuff? Little soaps, shower caps, shampoo, conditioner.
- Mr. Pricklepants: I wouldn't do that if I were you. In horror movies the first to leave is usually the first to get it.
- Woody: Potato Head, don't leave the bag. A motel is one of the easiest places for a toy to get lost.
- Mr. Potato Head: Ah, shut your worry hole. Nobody's getting lost. Besides, I promissed Hamm I'd bring him something nice.
- Jessie: Where are you guys going?
- Trixie: We're gonna see the free stuff.
- Mr. Pricklepants: And if something does happen to the potato, I wouldn't want to miss it.
- Rex: So what happens next?
- Mr. Pricklepants: Usually this is the point of the story where the characters are picked off one by one.
- [He is snatched by an unseen force]
- Jessie: Uh, where's Pricklepants?
- Rex: Aah! He was right here! What are we going to do? He was the only one who knew what the heck is going oooo...
- [Is snatched]
- Jessie: Uh, where's Potato Head?
- Woody: Oh, no.
- Mr. Pricklepants: Oh, it appears the monster has returned to claim one last victim.
- Jessie: No, he's not. He's right over there.
- Mr. Potato Head: [to his arm] Oh, I missed you, baby! We'll never be separated again.
- [the car hits a bump, Mr. Potato Head's parts all fall off]
- Mr. Potato Head: Aw, nuts.
- [All laugh]
- Mr. Pricklepants: Group laughter. A sure sign that the worst is behind us.
- Rex: So, it's the end?
- Mr. Pricklepants: Yes. I believe they'd be running the credits just about now.
- [Cut to end credits]
- Mr. Pricklepants: And now we've reached the threshold. Every horror story has one. Once the heroes cross it, there's no turning back.
- Buzz Lightyear: Rex, over here.
- Rex: Coming!
- Woody: All we need to do is find a way down.
- [Rex trips over the others and they fall down the grate]
- Woody: Well, that did the trick.
- Rex: Oops! Sorry!
- [Jessie has just met Combat Carl]
- Combat Carl: Combat Carl's seen things. Horrible things. Combat Carl's learned you gotta keep movin'. Or else, they find you!
- Jessie: [confused] Are *you* Combat Carl?
- [Woody, Buzz and Jessie find Mr. Potato Head's arm, holding up its index finger]
- Woody: It's Potato Head's arm. Looks like he's trying to tell us something.
- Buzz Lightyear: It must be some kind of sign language.
- Woody: Let's see... one... One word?
- Buzz Lightyear: One syllable?
- Woody: Once upon a time!
- Buzz Lightyear: One plus one is two!
- Jessie: [Whistles] Uh, guys? I think he's pointing up.
- [She points up to an air duct]
- Woody: Oh, up.
- Buzz Lightyear: Yes, of course. Up.