Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)
Jack Black: Oberon
Photos
Quotes
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Professor Shelly Oberon : You got to have eyes in the back of your...
[gets attacked from behind by a python]
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Professor Shelly Oberon : No, no, no! I'm the old fat dude! This can't be happening!
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Oberon : I will torch you, bitches! I will literally burn your face!
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[in the desert; reading his list of strengths and weaknesses]
Professor Shelly Oberon : And for weaknesses, endurance. And what else? Let's see... heat, sun, and sand.
[punches chest and the list disappears]
Professor Shelly Oberon : Shouldn't be a problem. It's not like we're in the middle of a goddamn desert or anything!
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Professor Shelly Oberon : It says dunes and we're in the dunes. No shit.
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Oberon : I've always been the super clever one, and he's always been super brave. And super ball-less.
Mouse : Stop saying that! Both of my balls are right here!
Oberon : In spirit.
Mouse : Hey...
Oberon : They're here in spirit.
[whispers]
Oberon : Always.
Elevator Guard : Of course
Oberon : Right, bro?
Mouse : [hesitates] Right. I got no balls.
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[Jumanji drums beat while a herd of ostriches run toward the stranded group, while Milo as Finbar is stalling to speak]
Mouse Finbar : Oh! There's one more thing about ostriches.
Professor Shelly Oberon : Oh, no...
Ruby Roundhouse : Say it!
Mouse Finbar : They travel in herds.
[ostrich screeches while it and its herd hone in on the group]
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Professor Shelly Oberon : What? I'm sorry, I think I miss the plan, part of the plan. That last level almost killed us all. I can barely walk. Your grandpa beats the hell out of the wrong guy or attack by a polar bear or something, what am I suppose to do?
Dr Smolder Bravestone : I'm not gonna beat up the wrong guy.
Professor Shelly Oberon : [to Bravestone] You are gonna beat up the wrong guy! You're not a good Bravestone! You're too stubborn and pissed off, and you keep getting us killed.
Dr Smolder Bravestone : What the hell you talking about?
Professor Shelly Oberon : And Milo... and I say this with all due respect, sir... is not a good person to be the zoologist. He talks too slow, and by the time he gets to the point, you're DEAD!
Mouse Finbar : None taken. And let me tell you why. Because my friend Bernard...
Professor Shelly Oberon : [points at him] You see?
Professor Shelly Oberon : [to the others] You're a thief whose too neurotic to steal, Bethany's a horse...
[Cyclone looks at Roundhouse]
Professor Shelly Oberon : All I know is, we are stuck here again, we are running out of lives, and my ankle is killing me!
Professor Shelly Oberon : [he sits on a rock and then falls off] Ahh!
Ruby Roundhouse : [shouts] OH MY GOD!
Ming : FRIDGE!
[they looked at Fridge falling off and rolling down the hill]
Ruby Roundhouse : Fridge, are you okay?
[Then he found something]
Professor Shelly Oberon : [excited] Yo, you guys gotta see this!
[they both looked at the waterfall before the others jump back]
Ruby Roundhouse : That's what the water looked like at the tree.
Professor Shelly Oberon : When we...
Professor Shelly Oberon , Ruby Roundhouse : Switched bodies.
[Cyclone neighs softly, and Fridge and Martha know what to do]
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Cake Lady : Welcome. May I offer you a piece of cake.
Mouse Finbar : [shouts at the lady] No! No! NOOOO!
[tosses the cake on the floor]
Professor Shelly Oberon : [quietly] No thank you.