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niwty
Reviews
Planet of the Sharks (2016)
Complete waste of time
Where to start? Script that is absolutely shi sorry, shockingly bad, delivered by "actors" that inevitably went straight back to waiting table after filming. The plot has more holes than the winning holiest Dutch cheese in a holey Dutch cheese competition. The so called Queen of the Salvation City as others have said is awful, annoying, etc, right through the whole alphabet of adjectives than mean bad.
The premise is that the polar ice caps have melted due to global warming. This in turn has caused the sea levels to rise and somehow completely flooded the land masses, (see what I mean about plot holes? Thats just the first of many) Despite this the surviving humans have managed to collect timber and surprisingly palm leaves with which to build a makeshift floating collection of huts. Oh yes. They also have a generator, a speed boat and a gyrocopter (and somehow plenty of fuel for all 3) The doctors/scientists (one of whom is complete with bow tie) in this floating metropolis have also managed to amazingly build a rocket on another platform with seemingly no labs and little or no manufacturing plants. The rocket is apparently equipped with a device which will scrub the co2 out of the atmosphere to presumably refreeze the ice caps, (don't ask) The problem they have is that the warming sea is supposed to have caused the plankton etc to die off and subsequently the fish that live on it and also the fish that live on the fish, so on and so on up the food chain to the sharks. With no food below the water they are now seeking it above the water, ie, the humans. However, one has to wonder what the humans are supposed to have been living on? No land mass to grow it and no fish in the water? Did I also mention the fact that the sharks, led by an alpha, have also evolved the ability to leap like dolphins and roar like lions now? No? Sorry yes that's a thing too apparently.
Anyway back to the "plot". Our protagonists also need to trigger an underwater volcano! To do this they need to reactivate a HARRP device, (that is also on the floating platform it's the rocket where the basic manufacturing tools and circa 1990's computers are) bounce a beam of energy from that off the atmosphere and direct it at, I'm sorry, I'm struggling to even think about this nonsense let alone write it.) at the caldera of a now undersea volcano causing it to erupt wiping out the sharks? I know! However, No one appears to have considered the tidal wave that follows the eruption, (Scientists eh?) Anyway somehow the big bad shark survives and pursues them back to the main platform again. They need to launch the rocket but have no power so devise a plan to obtain power from the alpha shark? The shark attacks with some others that survived but the day is saved by Doctor bow tie who turns out is also a South African samurai complete with sword! Anyway the rocket gets launched, bow tie and his assistant kiss and before teatime the torch of the Statue of Liberty is one again visible above the waves! Hooray!
I gave it a rating of 2. 1 for the fact that it was in colour, even though colour is obviously still a negative thing in South Africa as there was one POC in the cast with little or no lines and nothing to do but stand in the background or hide, (but at least she didn't die!) and the other for the very redeemable fact that no sharks were hurt in the making of the film.
Summary. Don't waste your time. I watched it. I made the sacrifice so that you don't have to.
Timeless (2016)
Entertaining but??????
I realise that any movie or series about time travel requires the viewer to suspend disbelief for a while but please, the makers don't have to treat us as total airheads. The biggest flaw/plot hole for me is the simple recurring issue regarding the supposed "baddie" who steals the "mothership" time machine and disappears into the past, reputedly to destroy the timeline and America as our 3 would be saviour/protagonists know it, whilst they on the other hand must use an older prototype time machine known as the "lifeboat" in order to also travel back to the same moment and stop him. Are you with me so far?
Now, the agent in charge of the missions, whenever the baddie (who is called Flynn btw) goes back in time, constantly urges the team of would be saviours to hurry and try to stop him before he has chance to change anything. What? He's gone BACK IN TIME for goodness sake. As soon as he left the present then surely the present day timeline would have changed instantly because he would have done what he set out to do years ago! It would already be part of their history (as it is whenever they themselves return) They could in fact just look it up, except they would have changed with the timeline too and probably wouldn't know what they're looking for! In addition why didn't they just kill the baddie Flynn at the first opportunity?
Ignoring that basic flaw, the show is quite entertaining, some humorous dialogue and a number of movie references. The history side is seemingly well researched and it makes a nice change to highlight the fact that the issues facing a person of colour back in world history were not often good ones.
I gave it 5 stars for the entertainment value but that annoying plot hole really bugged me. Its ok but I won't go out of my way to watch another series if it's ever produced though.