- Barman: You're new 'round here.
- James Herriot: Yes, that's right.
- Barman: Came in with Mr. Farnon?
- James Herriot: That's right. I'm his new assistant.
- Barman: A vet?
- James Herriot: That's right. I expect you'll be seeing a lot of me around here.
- Barman: Aye, but when you come here to tap the fluid off our beer barrels, you pay us. Aye, here's your new boss wanting his pint.
- James Herriot: Yes of course. Take for two, would you?
- Siegfried Farnon: James, that's kind of you. I see you've introduced yourself?
- Barman: He has, that. He told us he came up to stop you killing off all the local cows.
- James Herriot: Oh come on!
- Siegfried Farnon: Well, if the local cows are anything like your two miserable pigs, it'd be the only thing to do with them.
- Siegfried Farnon: How was morning surgery?
- James Herriot: Not very busy, really.
- Siegfried Farnon: How many?
- James Herriot: Only one. And I don't think we're gonna make our fortunes out of that one.
- Siegfried Farnon: There's a great future in dogs and cats. You mark my words.
- James Herriot: This was a tortoise.
- Siegfried Farnon: Oh!
- [laughing]
- Siegfried Farnon: Sally Garth. Did she say anything?
- James Herriot: Not a word.
- Siegfried Farnon: That's Sally Garth. She never does!
- Bert Sharpe: [laughing when his cow kicks James] I'm sorry young man. I ought to have told you. This is a very friendly cow and she always likes to shake hands.
- [first lines]
- James Herriot: [seeing a horse through a bus window] Magnificent animal.
- Man on Bus: It's a horse.
- James Herriot: Yes, I know. It's good to see it. You know, that not all of them have gone, driven out by the tractor.
- Man on Bus: Have you ploughed with horse and tractor, then?
- James Herriot: Er, well... Not exactly.
- Man on Bus: I thought not.